Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
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This is about this
I made this with photo editing tools bc I can't defeat 4chan's captchas
Poll:
https://strawpoll.com/NMnQNvjeBg6
Poll Results:
https://lemmyverse.link/lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/28960622
seriously who touches others food to flirt?!
Flirty people in movies.
Real people in relationships.
Weirdos who deserve to have their reheated fast food burger smashed.
It's one of those things that works in movies because it's something you can get away with if you're incredibly attractive. There's a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it's something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.
But those girls are licking their OWN food off their fingers, not pasta sauce from sticking their hand into a co-worker's spaghetti! Even within an intimate relationship grabbing the other person's food isn't appropriate without consent.
It wasn’t flirting, but this ADHD positive girl I was crushing on(and was crushing on me) once absentmindedly stuck the tip of her finger in a full glass of water in front of her to ask whose it was and I had to desperately fight falling in love right then and there.
Now, that was an accident born of silly brain vs purposefully fucking with someone’s food so I understand the difference, but I really like my story so…
ITT: people taking a shitpost from 4chan seriously.
You can discuss the events of a story, and the relative morality and social etiquette of the characters in it, even if the whole thing is entirely fiction. Functionally, it makes no difference if it really happened or it didn't. Sometimes that matters, but here is doesn't. You don't know these people, you'll never meet these people, and there's no real-world effect of discussing this story (except maybe someone learns not to touch somebody else's food?).
Fuck it, you could be a bot programmed to complain about people taking shitposts seriously. I could be an AI created to respond to your prompts to try to convince you not to complain about fabricated stories. This entire interaction could be four bots engaged in a learning exercise in a simulated online forum. Or maybe it was all a dream the whole time.
Fuck it, you could be a bot programmed to complain about people taking shitposts seriously.
Now thats a good shitpost comment. You get it.
Poll: VPN user voting is not allowed.
Ok bye.
Yeah I thought I disabled that, but apparently not. Silly that that seems to be the default
Enter my answer "I deserve to be able to opt out of taking this poll" for me pls.
I can't vote either bc I also refuse to turn off my VPN 😅
Is it anti-dystopian if I trust my ISP and government with my data more than I trust random VPN companies?
I mean I certainly wouldn't trust any random VPN company, but I trust ProtonVPN
This sounds like the kind of flirting I'd expect after seeing '80s and '90s teen angst movies. In retrospect screenwriters just don't understand how humans interact, or rather they just don't care and go for madcap antics instead.
I'm way neurodivergent, and was completely unaware of human interaction, so I was looking at Pretty in Pink and St. Elmo's Fire (etc. etc.) trying to decipher how all that works.
I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction. (Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets thanks to some amazing strokes of fortune.)
After the fact, in recollection, I realized then that a lot of women in my young adult life were signalling me and I never knew.
I also realized my aunt was totally hitting on me when I was sixteen. That's all sorts of awkward to reconcile.
Note that I matrix-dodged a barrage of incel-to-fascist pipeline bullets
Here goes my hero
THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST
"I became sexually active at 26 after folks from the kink community noticed my nerdy vibe, and they schooled me in some basic human interaction."
Solidarity fist bump. My own experience was somewhat different, but there is the common ground of learning communication skills on a lag, and learning from a niche community of lovely weirdos
Anyone who sticks their hands in my food uninvited is not someone I would like a relationship with.
Respect boundaries.
It's not weird to touch other people's food everyone does it just for fun. Go to your neighbor's house and touch their food and you can laugh together.
I'm not sure if the guy was trying to protect his virginity, or if he was genuinely bothered by the damn bitch constantly touching his food. I'd be annoyed too if someone kept sticking their hand in my food every single day.
Instead, he smashes my burger to bits without even looking away from his coffee, just stares at me
Without looking away from his coffee
Just stares at me
how he do that
She forgot to mention his lazy eye
She was lounging in his coffee cup like it was a hot tub.
"Touching his food" can run the gamut between:
Take one of his potato chips and eat it
to
Stick my thumb in his soup
If a friend or family member took one of my potato chips and ate it, I'd probably be fine with it. At worst I'd be a little annoyed. If an acquaintance or cow-orker did that it would be a little more strange, but not the end of the world. But, the other end of the spectrum is much weirder.
Grabbing a potato chip, if done carefully, will mean not touching anything else. Any dirt or germs on the toucher's hands aren't going to get spread around the rest of the food, but touching a liquid or something with sauce on it is different. IMO, touching someone's pasta is definitely on the germ-spreading end of the scale.
I can't respond to your other comment bc snooggums is banned from my instance
It’s one of those things that works in movies because it’s something you can get away with if you’re incredibly attractive. There’s a whole stock images category involving girls licking their fingers, mostly in a seductive style. But, in the real world, it’s something you do with your husband or long-term partner, not a random cow-orker.
I think this is what people aren't understanding. Someone who does this repeatedly surely must have learned that it's okay/works from a history of doing it, so they're probably very attractive. I'm pretty confident that most normies would react much more playfully/positively than the responses in the comments here if an incredibly attractive person did this to them. If the goal is to swap spit anyway, you're not gonna be thinking about the germs on their fingers
That's a copypasta reference of another post from the guy's perspective.
From his perspective, she is just a weird coworker who likes to touch his food, and he gets tired of telling her off.
This is not flirting. It is socially maladjusted behaviour. Just because it has worked before doesn't mean it is a good idea.
Pickup artists do all kinds of stupid shit that works that isn't socially acceptable either.
I like it when these little dramas align on the front page:
I didn't have to go past femanon to know that this was fake.
The correct response is obviously to demand to lick her finger to get your sauce back
I use Debian fyi
Fake: you said yourself that you made it with photoshop in response to the other greentext
Gay: "Femanons?" Female 4chan users? I don't think they exist.
Fake: well obviously
Gay: almost certainly written by a guy
Only on Lemmy, is one of the options "I use Arch".
