Ask Lemmy

You work your whole life to be able to afford a little frivolity. If you're just going to stand in your own way to deny yourself all but the essentials, that's no way to live.

Budgets (formal or informal)!

• Have I covered all of my expenses? Yes.
• Have I properly funded my savings (retirement, emergency fund, other savings goals)? Yes.
• Do I have money left over? Yes!

Permission to spend granted!

Further before I buy something I'll write it down on a list and essentially not buy it for a period of time (7 days? 30 days, a year?). I'll come back to that list and gauge my interest again. Many, MANY times (most?) I don't care about the thing anymore so I don't spend the money.

Then I'll usually try to get the cheaper version (possibly used) of the thing first to make sure it still holds my interest in using it before I would justify buying the more expensive one. So many times the cheaper version does everything I need and I never need to buy the expensive version. When I do exceed the capabilities of the cheap version, and it is still holding my interest, I can then justify spending on the expensive (new?) version. Example: I wanted a bicycle to ride around the neighborhood for fitness and enjoyment. I looked at higher end brands and models, but first I bought a $200 Big Box Store Schwinn. I'm still using that same bicycle 6 years later with no need to replace it. One note, about two years into ownership I took it to an actual bicycle store for a tune up. The cost was about $80, I think. I wish I had done that on day 1! The bike's brakes worked much better and the gear shifting were MUCH improved! Prior to the service, I would regularly have the chain come off from bad shifts. The last time that happened was 3 years ago prior to the service.

I put most of those types of “wants” on a timer. As in I put the link on a wishlist. If a week or two later I still actively want it and think about it and it’s within my fun money budget then I get it. More often than not I have the impulse just in the moment and forget about it again 1-2 days later.

I want it and I have money for it. That's all the justification I need.

As long as my bills are paid and I have a steady income, if I want something, I'll usually buy it. If its something more frivolous or expensive, like the e-scooter I bought myself last year, I'll just wait for a good sale/deal. But if its something relatively cheap (like under $100), I usually just get it.

I don't want kids and I have no hope to ever owning a home where I live. Probably unlikely to retire unless I keep pushing at this job I have and hate but has a great pension. Might as well use my money while I can.

I have been trying to tighten up my finances though since, y'know, everything. But it's tough when I've become accustomed to spoiling myself.

I have high hopes the boardgames I've been buying lately will see the light of a game table at least once

I ask myself: can I afford it? Do I already have something similar? Do I see myself using it often? That last question is where you need to be honest with yourself, because it’s easy to find yourself neglecting a new purchase after the initial excitement wears off.

Depending on what the item is, you can sample or borrow/rent it to see if it sticks. You can also set a “waiting period” for yourself, and buy it if you still want it after that period ends. Sometimes the craving passes by then.

You have to find pleasures in life too, so if you can fit it into your budget and think you will get good use out of it, why not get it?

You have a nice day/night too!

A friend of mine retired and later told me he has too much money saved and he wished he had spent it more when he was younger.

I give myself some amount per month to spend no questions asked, so I don't have to feel guilty about it. If it's more than what I give myself in a month then I either save for a while or if I have the money upfront and it needs to be bought now I diminish the amount I give myself for the next X months to compensate.

I have a fun budget. A % of my monthly surplus goes I to it, and everything (excluding food) that I want rather than need come out of that pot.

I then have no guilt over spending my fun money, unless I think I could have more fun using it for something else.

I make a wishlist. In Excel. With a due date. For small things, six weeks wait.

For something like a motorcycle, six months wait.

Then if I still want it when that day comes I buy it

I have actually found valid reasons to own a motorcycle:

• any trip on the bike is 60 % less gas than by car

• my occasional commute from rural to city: car needs to be put in a garage for 25 € / 8 hrs. Bike rides up the elevator to the office, free.

• riding saves up the car for the winter, when it's most needed.

• bike maintenance is cheap and diy-able.

• the pleasure of riding: priceless.

At one point I had a change jar. At the end of my day all my pocket change went in the jar and I forgot about it. This had multiple benefits: any purchase I made during the day took at least five bucks out of my pocket (no $1 or $2 notes in my country), so I had to think about it carefully. I always had money in the house, but in a form that made it inconvenient to spend. And after a couple years of ignoring the jar, I had about $200 that was outside my normal budget. I could spend it how I wanted! If I felt like buying a couple hundred bucks worth of jellybeans, I could do it without guilt.

Now I'm no longer single. My wife steals my change to buy leftover fabric swatches at car boot sales. That makes it harder but man, I deserve a Lego pirate ship.

Always have an internal dialogue argument with myself.

I don't. I get things I want if they will not jepordize things I need. So there needs to be excess slack in the budget.

I want it.

That justification enough for me. If I can afford said thing, I'll buy it. Having it live rent free in my head is way more annoying than just forking out the dough for whatever dumb thing I currently am obsessing over.

I make a simple calculation:

I divide X money over Y time.

I enjoy photography, and bough a fancy camera with a bonus at my last job.

In total I have probably spent 30k SEK on the camera and lenses, I bought it in early 2023, so let's say that I have had a year and a half to enjoy it, that is 18 months

30k/18months is about 1.7k/month so far, and in return I got thousands of photos, some of which can be found here:

https://metapixl.com/Stoy

If I buy it I'll forget about it.

If I don't buy it, I'll spend the next twenty years thinking about that cool think I didn't buy when I had the chance.

It was a stupid little statue of a fairy sitting next to a mirror and I still wish I'd brought it.

Entertainment is valuable, it's what helps us get through the stuff we don't want to do. Looking forward to, or fondly remembering back on, the stuff we did/do for fun.

Budget for it. If what you want fits in that budget, and there is no other downside preventing you, then go for it.

I don't usually do it, so when I do it it means that I really like that thing.

Do I have the money ?

yes

Do I need to pay for something else with that money ?

no

Will I enjoy that new thing ?

yes

Let's buy it

Well, I understand the struggle. I'll look at that shiny new thing (let's say a video card for instance) and I'll think "well, the old works well enough, and I'll just be throwing the old one out, or it will sit in my drawer for a decade and then I'll throw it out".

Or, when something breaks, I'll think, well I could replace it, but I can probably just fix it. Surely it's not a waste of time to spend 5 hours and $30 at the hardware store to fix a 20 year old toaster. Surely.

And I'm really quite good at fixing stuff, so the temptation is always there. And part of it is the environmental side, it just feels wrong to throw something that mostly works into a landfill. Like if that toaster won't turn on at all, it's probably just the power button that broke, or a thermal fuse that blew. In those cases, that's a device that is 99% fine and the fix isn't all that hard. I can't bring myself to just buy a new one and unnecessarily add to my carbon footprint.

On the other hand, sometimes you just need to eat your pride. For instance, we ended up with some very difficult kids, so life has gotten challenging. And given the everyday challenges, sometimes I just need an immediate solution for things. Sure, I could fix this, sure I could probably get this media server working, sure we're perfectly capable of cleaning up after ourselves... But right now that feels too hard so screw it, let's just buy a new one, and to hell with the media server, we'll just pay for Netflix and Disney+, and you know what, let's get someone to help clean our house once a month. Sometimes it's just about doing the things that you need to do to take care of yourself.

And yes, I needed that video card for my personal sanity.

I usually go with "Third time's a charm"

If I think about wanting it once, I tell myself not to do anything rash.

The next time I think about wanting it (at least a day after the first time) I research, look at prices, get an idea of what I'm looking for and what models would work best for me.

The third time, I dig out the research I did before, check to see if prices have changed, and if I have the money available, I'll probably do it.

Self enforced waiting periods have talked me out of a lot of impulse buys that I probably would have regretted.

There is no need to justify anything. It is your money.

For starters, I have a one week grace period - If I still want it after a week, I can proceed if:

• I've spent more money on less amounts of fun/enjoyment than the new item gives me. (as in, it's not the stupidest purchase I've made),
• My credit cards are at zero.

Beyond that it's basically "I can afford it, and I want it. Why not?"

Don't overthink it. Life is too short.

If you can afford it and it's something you think you'll enjoy, go for it. In the case of a motorcycle or similar item, make sure you can also afford insurance, maintenance, etc.

We have a rule of three. If there's something you see that you want and end up coming back to it 3 or more times, you buy it.

I've gotten a number of items this way, like my Deadpool jersey. I couldn't justify spending like $40 on it to myself, but I really liked the design and material. I kept finding my way back to the stand, so I bought it at the direction of my wife before we left. I love that thing in the winter because it keeps me cozy without making me sweat.