this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2025
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You know how cops are always busting people with houses full of marijuana plants? What if you did all of that but with potatoes instead of marijuana? What if you had an entire house full of grow lights and potato plants in buckets and then every inch of lawn on your property had potatoes and not a single blade of grass?

Would anyone care? Would the cops come along and put a stop to it? If not, how many more potatoes would you have to grow before something like that happened?

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

In Western Australia, until 2021 under the Marketing of Potatoes Act 1946, it was illegal for anyone to sell, purchase, take delivery of and deliver more than 50kg of potatoes unless you were a member of the Potato Corporation or an authorised agent of said Corporation. Penalty up to $2000.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Most places probably don't limit how many potatoes you can grow. Police bust houses full of marijuana largely because any amount is illegal in a lot more places than it is legal.

Maybe if it started to smell or become a nuisance. But not because you had hella potatoes.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Yeah but a large electric bill seems to be enough to get a warrant

[–] xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

As long as you are not being a public nuisance, it's fine.

Example, if you are creating a huge number of potatoes inside a confined space, it might eventually collapse into a singularity. People will have an issue with that.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

The singularity wasn't bothering me, but all the scientists and university students studying it all night are starting to grate on my nerves. They're leaving empty coffee cups and scientific instruments all over my front yard.

[–] kinther@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Ok, now let's write a screenplay and get this made into a movie!

[–] xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day 2 points 5 days ago

Cave Johnson: You have made a potato-powered singularity? I'll give you a million bucks for that. Ohh, and we'll be buying your house as well.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 6 days ago

I don't think there's a law about it. The only relevant laws are probably about a tidy yard.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 6 days ago

if you allow the potatoes to grow like weeds and left unattended for long time, it can be considered a weed, potatoes might not be invasive though. unlike thier poisonous cousins ,black nightshade which is weedy and everywhere.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 88 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Neat, you're one of those people my math textbooks warn me about.

NotRobert has a 1200 sq ft house

If each potato they grow takes up 1 cubic foot of area, how many potatoes can NotRobert grow?

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s missing key information.

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

NotRobert's house has no ceilings nor a roof. Assume his property extends down to the center of the Earth and one light year into space.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I get about 9.22 x 10^18 potatoes

[–] dickalan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

37,248,000,000,000,000,000 Was my answer

i got 5 potatoes. notrobert only has 5 buckets

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Still missing key information.

Is his house his whole property?

[–] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes.

Also, assume spherical potatoes.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What’s the potatoe density and does the angle of the property reflect the zero sq ft at the earths core to the light year or does it remain constant at 1200 sq ft per foot each way?

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[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'd like to point out that a potato plant has many potatoes growing in its roots. Especially if you're using pots, and providing rich soil, a cubic foot of dirt could easily contain 3+ big baking potatoes, or 20 little baby potatoes. Twenty little ones is how many my kids grew in a flowerpot on our balcony.

Unless you're talking about each potato plant, in which case say so.

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Since NotRobert did not plan ahead, they starve this winter.

Game over.

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[–] eksb@programming.dev 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Jesus .... so government decided to protect industry instead of individual farmers ... because heaven forbid that a company or corporation should ever have to lose money due to individual people trying to do things for themselves.

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Look man. You're not getting it, ok?

You're thinking in terms of "Marijuanna is illegal, and potatoes are legal, therefore I can do whatever I want, and the cops can't stop me."

Except here's how things really work. Do you exist? Yeah? Well then the cops don't give a FUUUUUCK about your rights, the law, or your life. You could die in their care. They don't give a shit.

They smash peoples doors down, and shoot the homeowners. Later to find out they weren't even on the right STREET!

It doesn't matter that your acts are legal. Police are like what would happen if you mixed a bear, with a raccoon, with a chihuahua, with a fascist asshole.

So.......you still want to draw their attention just to point out legality?

[–] ShankShill@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Fun fact: barbers require more hours of training to become licensed than police officers.

So fun.

[–] Red_October@piefed.world 9 points 1 week ago

Wait a minute! That fact isn't very fun at all!

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[–] Soapbox@lemmy.zip 39 points 1 week ago

As long as you don't live under the oppressive thumb of an HOA or city lawn ordinances, you can grow as many potatoes as is physically possible within your available space.

But when you run out of practical space, you will probably think about going vertical. But building tall structures without planning permission or city approval is likely where you will run into trouble.

[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Depends on entirely on local laws. My house has an interesting quirk written into the title where I cannot dig up clay in order to make bricks. No idea how that's enforced, but its there.

[–] Glitch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You should make one brick just for funzies. How were you informed of this law?

[–] CameronDev@programming.dev 8 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I absolutely want to do that, but for now lack the tools/skills.

It was in the copy of the title, and our conveyancer told us before we settled. We were devastated of course, our planned business to revolutionise the brick industry was ruined.

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[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 17 points 1 week ago

Sadly the town may be up you arse. Ppl struggling for food and the jerks are like naaa grow grass. Useless green grass. God fobid some biodiversity they'll fine you 300k for it and remove it all.

Reccomned starting small and see what you get away with. Don't even start if you have nosey neighbors. Mine are the worst. Call town for every little thing.

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

TL;DR In Britain I'm pretty sure this wouldn't technically be illegal even if you filled the whole place.

Depends on where you are. I'm pretty sure that in Britain, the cops would eventually turn up with a search warrant and then leave disappointed when they find only potatoes, even if you fill every inch of your property. They might come back randomly too, which you might find harassing, but they wouldn't be able to shut you down for that.

They could get you on technicalities though if they really wanted to stop you.

For example, if you have shared walls (or floors/ceilings), and heck, maybe if you don't, too much weight could cause a collapse and make more than just your property unsafe. There's also the potential for excess heat or moisture affecting the structure or neighbours. There might even be a noise complaint depending on things like fans or pumps.

Then there's the whole business angle. Your property might not be zoned for running a business, so you could be pulled up on either running a business without a licence if you don't set yourself up that way and also for running that business out of the wrong sort of property. You'd have to start selling the potatoes to fall foul of that though. Donations-based would be a grey area, but I feel like they might try the unlicensed charity angle instead.

[–] Apepollo11@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I'd honestly be surprised if noone at all on this isle had completely filled their house with potato plants. I certainly know some people who I'm sure are only a couple of steps away from doing something like this.

[–] DreamAccountant@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Irish dreams are impressive.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

If you're going to use grow lamps for potatoes you're not likely to make a profit. So probably until the debt collectors show up.

[–] Glitch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 week ago

Zoning laws probably come into effect at some point, if you're selling the merchandise

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It would only be a problem if the rental office finds out I removed the flooring to put down soil and potatoes. On the second floor.

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[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago

Maybe you could look up instances of electricity usage based marijuana raids in your area, and if they list the amount of electricity used that triggered the warrant. Then pick out the smallest number.

[–] whats_a_lemmy@midwest.social 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There's a famous case about this. The dude in question fled to Brazil after years of police harassment that followed his activism.

Barry Cooper

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Where potatos?

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[–] nitrolife@rekabu.ru 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well... In my case, as many potatoes as you want. Even if I grow it on an industrial scale, I will only need to pay 4% sales tax. And for myself, I can grow at least 100+ kg of potatoes without any problems. (Because of the size of the plots, I can literally grow tons of potatoes).

And yes, I use UV lamps for seedlings every spring. Just like literally everything in my village. This happens when the daylight is very short. These are the countries with risky agriculture. I think it would be funny for some foreigners to watch the picture of the village where in every house at night with ultraviolet light shining on the windowsills =)

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[–] harcesz@szmer.info 6 points 1 week ago

This some seriously Martian problems.

[–] normalexit@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

There is no limit to the potatoes you can grow. The only limit is your imagination.

If you live in a place where cultivating cannabis is prohibited, and your power usage spikes, you may be placed under surveillance.

If you have an HOA or city ordinances about the condition of your yard you might get a slap on the wrist if your potato farm is unsightly. Otherwise, as not a lawyer, grow on.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In the UK, growing potatoes isn't illegal as far as I am aware

[–] MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well you SAY that, but one of my neighbours grew potatoes in her front garden, and there was a LOT of tutting. Really a lot. Everyone knows front gardens are for flowers, not potatoes. I'm surprised the police weren't called.

[–] subarctictundra@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

But... potatoes flower!

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