The meta aspect of 'shit' has to be up there.
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One of my favourites is the word jam, which can mean:
- A fruit preserve
- Traffic that's stopped
- To play music
- A door that won't open
- A difficult situation
- To force something in somewhere it's not supposed to be
- To interrupt a signal
- Something you don't like or can't do ("that's not my jam")
And probably others, all spelled and pronounced the same way but with wildly different meanings depending on the context.
The other English thing I find super interesting is how there's a sort of unspoken but very clearly understood order to adjectives. So for example, if I say "The big old red wooden door" it works as a description, but if I say "The wooden old red big door" it sounds weird even though it's the same information. People aren't usually formally taught the order (as far as I know), but everyone seems to understand it.
Would be interested in more about the order - wondering if there is a name for that? I have been called out by teachers and friends and colleagues about strange sentences and it was often because I wouldn't write the 'normal' way. I've learned the conventions over the years and often find myself making edits to swap words and phrases around to meet expectations.
Apparently it's called the Royal Order of Adjectives, and it's essentially: determiner, opinion, size, shape, age, colour, origin, material, qualifier.
You don't have to use all of those in the description, but that's broadly the order to use them in to make it sound 'right'. So for example in the comment I made above, it fits because I used:
- determiner (The)
- size (big)
- age (old)
- colour (red)
- material (wooden)
in that order. I'm sure I was never taught that in any organized way (I just had to look up what it was called lol) but I still got it in the right order anyway just by typing it out in the way that felt right, which I think is interesting.
Welcome to english, where rules are actually the exceptions
I before E, except after C!
As long as you don't count the word caffeine. Or protein. Or species. Or seize or heinous or leisure or weird or feign or their or reignite or any of the other 923 words that are exceptions to this rule lol.
I've never been a fan of read/read/red They're too popular to all be comingled like that.
Just place read/read with Peruse/Perused
My wife and I had a good snicker one time when I brought home edamame peas in the shell.
They were shelled, but she wanted them shelled.
Flammable/imflammable is another one that comes to mind.
As carved into history by Dr. Nick:
English has many contronyms.
- Clip: to attach (clip X to Y) or detach (clip coupons)
- Dust: to remove dust or to add it (dust the cake with icing sugar)
- Fine: excellent (fine wine) or not great but decent (it's fine)
- Left: remaining (I have 5 left) or gone (I had some but they left)
- Oversight: supervision (he had oversight over the whole process) or lack of supervision (I forgot to do that, it was an oversight)
The English language is so retarded yet we use it for international communication, and it is too late to stop it.
The problem is the spelling, not the language. But the problem with spelling reform is that it necessarily favours certain dialects over others so you can never please everyone.
"well" is a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb and an interjection
Words that produce the same sounds should have same spelling. Read in past tense and red is the same sound, so why isn't past tense of read - red?
Why most 'c' in words produce 'k' sounds?
Car and kar also produce the same sounds, so why C instead of K?
English has way more vowel sounds than it has vowels.
- jack
- barn
- arena
- ball
- able
- rare
Those are just words where the primary vowel letter is "a".
The terrible attempt to solve this is by using double letters, but then consistency goes out the window. There's times when "ea" is a single vowel sound like /rid/ (reed) or /rɛd/ (red). But it can also be /ɛrn/ as in earn, which rhymes with urn and burn. It can be /ˈɡɹeɪt/ as in great, where the "ea" is a diphthong and pronounced like the "a" in grate or vague. Or, for more fun, the two letters can each fully get their own pronunciation like "react" or "theatre".
We're really at the "bearn it all down and start over" stage with English. Let's just all agree to switch to español.
Bought, caught, taught, fought, thought, sought, and wrought are all past tense verbs and all rhyme. The present tense forms are buy, catch, teach, fight, think, seek, and work, none of which rhyme.
English pronunciation is weird. It can be mastered through tough thorough thought though.
The digraph oo is pronounced at least six different ways:
- boot, proof, boost, scoop, moon
- book, foot, look, cookie, good
- floor, poor, door, moor
- flood, blood
- zoology, cooperative
- brooch (just brooch; there doesn't seem to be any other word in the whole language using this sound for oo).
Are the first 2 lines really different?
Genuine question from a non native speaker.
Brooch and mooch.
But, aren't these the same sounds as boot / proof / boost etc.?
The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenité (1922)
https://ncf.idallen.com/english.html
Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.
...
Very long. Highly recommended
Fast can mean moving with great speed or fixed securely in place (among other things).
On a different note there is Reading, a football club in UK, which is pronounced "Redding". This pronunciation is akin to the Reading Railroad from Monopoly (which I mispronounced all my life until today).
Little details, picked up along the way.
It's pronounced "Redding" Railroad?? All those times I sang "Take a look, it's in a book, Reading Railroad!" were a lie!
Where, were, we're. Even native speakers have problems with this. I don't know how many times I had to correct such cases, especially with American authors.
Pretty much only native speakers have problems with this, I see this type of mistake far less frequently with those who learned English as an additional language.
This one has also bothered me because I pronounce all three of these differently.
It's because the people who set the rules for the English language, could barely speak it.
The first guy to popularize the printing press was Dutch, so the guy who bought England's first one didn't know how it worked and neither did any English speaker
So he hired a bunch of Dutch who knew how to operate it.
And they got a bunch of handwritten books and were told to mass reproduce them.
Sometimes it was a mistake in the original, sometimes the typesetter made a mistake. Sometimes the writer just disagreed with how it should be written, and sometimes even the typesetters who couldn't speak English made choices to change it
No one gave a fuck about accuracy, it was about pumping out as many books as possible. Because just owning a book was a huge status symbol still from when they were handwritten and crazy expensive.
But all those books eventually got read, and the people who learned to read them were very proud that they could read. So they insisted that all the random bullshit was intentional and had to be followed to a T by everyone forever.
Most other languages had a noble class who kept it sensical, but for a long ass time only peasants spoke English, the wealthy in England all spoke French, cuz they were French.
Anyways, that's why English doesn't make any sense. There was also a natural thing happening where vowel pronunciation was changing. So when the typecasters solidified everything, it was already in a state of flux. That's why pronunciation doesn't line up with spelling.
The primary accent for 2-syllable words that are used as both a noun and a verb depends on the part of speech. The noun places the primary accent on the 1st syllable, the verb on the 2nd syllable.
Examples:
The musician records a record.
The farmer produces produce.
You're not permitted to fish without a permit.
Lead and lead as well. I got a lead on those lead undergarments you wanted. I'll lead you there later.
The comedic timing of this strip is actually really good.