Fits perfectly with the general "fuck everyone else" nature of cars.
this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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Fuck Cars
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I thought this was antitheft at first lmao.
Imagine trying to steal a car and it just sweeps your legs.
Just wait till the car gets hacked and some one starts remotely erecting batteries.
Erecting?
I sat here for a good two minutes trying to find something witty and funny to say Finally all I really want to do is tell you that you used the wrong word.
Could be worse.
In my job they send a copy of all the health and safety stuff to each employee once a year. Part of that is something about fire safety.
For some reason they didn't send me the German original version but the English translation instead.
In there it says that the fire safety officer alone is responsible for all erections.
We had a good laugh.
If you dig far enough Into Osha saftey documentation, you'll find a page where they advocate the use of a saftey wench.
Lots of work to do
Yeah stupid auto correct. I’m just leaving it
Ok but what was it meant to be? Ejecting?
Fuck it if the car can erect its own batteries I think it's overengineered
My immediate thought was, why not use this to enable standardized quick-swappable batteries? Maybe not with quite as much ejection force though.
This seems like it would solve any issues with range as well. Instead of stopping for hours to recharge you could just swap the battery (for a small fee).
My first thought when it popped out the side of the car was "I wonder if I could surf that battery across the road..."
Was my problem, now it's your problem. It's called hot potato.
Good luck ejecting a spicy pillow(it'll probably get stuck in place)
Yea! Shoot the burning battery right under the fuel tanker in the lane next to you!
If this becomes common, eventually there will be a chain reaction on a crowded grid-locked freeway.
It will work something like this:
Oh the huge manatee!
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Tfw the car catch fire and you're stepping out but the car yeet the problem right back at you
Stepping outk if it's not a Tesla ;)
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Somewhere in a Vega's parking lot.... Pop! Poppop! Pop pop! Pop pop pop! Pop!
Pop!
Pop pop pop pop pop!
Pop pop!
I’m picturing a crew of emergency responders approaching. They all get taken out “in the name of safety”, and the rest decide to vote with the legs they still have and refuse to approach
Im assuming this would only be an option for first responders.
If this has a physical engineering requirement I'll be shocked, they'll give the AI control of it for emergencies and act surprised when it randomly activates in traffic.
RIP first responders.
What happens if the frame gets bent in a wreck? I guess you’re probably not any worse off than you are currently in a wreck with an EV, but it seems a little silly to make this rely on the car not getting too crumpled during a car wreck to work.
"a little silly", is a very kind way to describe it
Another point: When those batteries get bad, don't they blow up? And wouldn't this make the battery jam in place?
If anything, the force will probably make it worse. Why not just kick the unstable, explosive battery that’s now stuck in place.
Dumb idea.
Yep. There is a lot of dumb in this design. I'd say some manager pissed his pants about his ass in an EV and demanded a solution... any solution.
this can't go wrong.
a scared person hurting someone innocent? inconceivable with this device
That's a total non starter. There is zero chance this ever gets implemented.
This totally won't be abused in case of road rage, absolutely not.
Yarg ye sons of scallywags, fire the starboard cannons!
hey I watched this episode of ST: TNG
Stranger Things. The Next Generation
Nailed it
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