A real friend would offer the use of their own penis until their buddy's balls were better.
this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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If you fap with your right hand, how the fuck are you supposed to hold the mouse?
Keyboard navigation, fam.
So you're saying vim keybinds can up my gooning game?
If your browser supports it, yes.
With the left hand. You don't need that much dexterity to click thumbnail images.
"hey cortana, slo-mo!"
become left handed
I don't want to be a nut buster but aren't you supposed to beat the meat bunch to clear the remains after till it's clean?
Yes, you’re supposed to ejaculate a few times before you bring in a sample to have it tested. But you’re supposed to wait a week or two before any sexual action after the actual surgery.
IIRC I was prescribed like 30 ejaculations over the course of two months. I could be wrong about the exact number but I remember thinking I had to actually put an effort and some consistency into it if I was going to hit the target.
"Sorry boss, my doctor said I literally have to jerk off all day"
Jeeez. My friends who have gotten vasectomies were told a couple is fine, and they were shooting blanks after maybe 7-10 cums hahaha
30, you say? Ok doc. See you Wednesday.
My doctor said 20 over 3 months. I’m about 1.5 months in, way beyond 20. Wondering if I can get my test early haha
Did you say thanks afterwards to the pharmacist?
A week or two? Here in Germany it was like "Whenever you feel good enough again" which he said would be in about 1-2 days. And for me it was a day after the vasectomy.
But I had a great Doctor who said I can bring my phone or Console to play on while he worked his magic. Ended up watching with a mirror though..
Hahaha it goes so quickly with a good doctor, one wouldn’t have time to play anything really! My latest friends’ took like 20 minutes.
I've never head that, but sounds like a nice consolation.
The directions I saw recently were no arousal for two weeks, then ejaculate 20 times over 2 months, then send in the sample. If the sample doesn’t come back clear, then repeat after 2 more months. Insurance does not cover the testing kit.
More comprehensive solution:
EDIT:
I actually had to go a few pages deep into the site I found to find one that would probably be medically safe for a ~2 week recovery period.
Most of them had urethral rods and/or inward facing spikes.
Anyway, presumably/hopefully these are made of medical grade surgical steel, some people do get rashes or welts from wearing various metals for long periods.
Imagine being the guy at the assembly line in China....why fo I need to polish my welds down to Ra16?....ohhh! Its for a chicken? Oh the other bird! Wow, I need to polish more! Maybe test fit before shipping!
Tell him to wait a month before bragging about it. My father in law apparently told everyone who would listen for a couple weeks that he was shooting blanks, so no more kids (the man has no filter). He then had to ago around and let everyone know that his last live round had actually hit the mark. That would be my sister in law.
Mhmm. They ever, uh, double check?
She's a giant like the rest of his family. 6'2". And has his nose same as his other kids. Couldn't deny her if he tried.
Man hopefully he's not a 1 or 2%er like me.
What's that?
Whenever you have any procedure/surgery, they'll give you percentage chances of certain side effects. It might be 90% had none,5% something minor, 2% really bad and 1% worse than you would want to imagine. Obviously the percentages and side effects vary based on what procedure they're doing. But my vasectomy did not go well.
Shiet, what are the possible side effects? ED? Or it just didn't take?
There are very few with continuous testicular pain for up to a year, and that group usually also experiences reduced erection quality. That's the 2%
The smaller 1% experience pain for the rest of their lives. And again, reduction or complete loss of the ability to have quality erections.
I'm somewhere in the middle of those two. Just over a year of nonstop pain, I had pretty much accepted I'd never live without it. But then it went away. It still comes back occasionally, but it isn't nonstop. And my erections aren't what they used to be, they vary from completely awful to maybe 90% at best. I got my vasectomy at 35.
There are people who have to get it done a second time, but that wasn't me. I'd rather not live anymore or never have sex again than do that again.
Fuuck, sorry that happened to you and thanks for sharing, I was completely unaware of these side effects.