this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 16 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

A slight, but crucial reordering of electrons.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Rearranging entropy by moving heat from one place to somewhere else.

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Eh, it's more like electromancy, but... yes.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 52 points 17 hours ago (7 children)

An architect's building can last several hundred years. A programmers genius logic becomes obsolete in three years.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

Tell that to leftpad.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 8 hours ago

Oh, I've got awful code from 20+ years ago still in mine.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

That's okay. The company is set to go IPO in two.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 8 hours ago

Don't worry there'll be a company in 2095 that still using it. They're always is someone.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 56 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

And the fools rushed code is still there a decade later...

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 11 points 17 hours ago

You nailed it.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 16 hours ago

Except when it doesn't. Then it becomes https://xkcd.com/2347/

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

That's what's always amused me about the "code re-use" imperative. I started my career with Visual Basic 3 -- what good could anything I wrote back then possibly do me today?

[–] Lyrl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

I work at a multi-bilion dollar company that would crash to a halt if our Cobol + assembly language Unisys system written in the 80s went offline. It's hard to predict what will become difficult to replace, but some code has extraordinary staying power.

I wrote a web app circa 2001 (Visual Basic 6 and Classic ASP) that is still in use. Unremarkable except that this app was a graphical UI front end atop a clunky mainframe app from the 1970s. The fact that my app is still running means this mainframe app is still running.

[–] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

"Minus 400 lines of code created today."

"That's less than nothing, kiddo ;)"

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 68 points 19 hours ago (4 children)

Depression.

The end result of a programmer's work is depression.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 hours ago

As a system admin.... Same.

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[–] Bajingo@lemmy.world 16 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

I feel like this needs to be one of those tshirts from old facebook ads that is like a skeleton riding a motorcycle. "I'm a programmer, that means I'm a machine that turns tea into nothing."

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 6 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

I always liked "my body is a machine that turns childhood trauma into profits for the pharmaceutical industry."

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 8 hours ago

Who,.that's the next mother's day gift sorted then.

[–] DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 2 points 10 hours ago

im a machine that turns cold beer into warm piss

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago

Don't know about you guys but I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and it ain't for nothing.

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 32 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (4 children)

You know those illustrated story books for children?

The ones with cute anthropomorphized animals going about their jobs in a fairytale animal society, posting letters and walking kids across the street and fixing cars in the garage?

If you can't accurately depict yourself doing your job as a drawing in one of those books, it's not a real job.

(I'm also a programmer, by the way.....)

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I was reading one of those books to my kid once and there was a pig butcher. I'm not sure how that's supposed to work in the lore of the book. Was he some halliburlector type or was he actually just a butcher. How deep does the analogue go?

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 hours ago

I feel like that's almost a macabre in-joke to the adults involved

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 13 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Dog hammering away at keyboard, in the other side off the wall an ATM is now working or a plane safely lands.

Am also a dev.

[–] IzzyJ@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

For real that standard just requires people be creative

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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 26 points 20 hours ago (8 children)

One day I was thinking of Andy Warhol's film "Empire", which is basically one continuous 8 hour shot of the Empire State Building.

I thought it'd be cool to make a similar art film about your average programmer's work day. 8 hour shot of a programmer staring at the screen intensely, drinking coffee, scrolling through the code, and occasionally muttering "why the fuck doesn't this work?"

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

I worked from home for a few years. The Pornhub sessions would need to be edited out.

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[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 80 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It puts food on your table so you don't fucking starve, you little unappreciative shit.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

My kid seems to get the connection between my job and our accommodations, but they'd still rather I play with them.

They once introduced me to a teacher by saying "this is my dad. He likes working. And money!"

The (quite young, probably barely in her twenties) teacher considered this for a moment, then said "well... I guess my parents do, too."

[–] JesusChristLover420@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

You should explain to the little ones that your boss wants a certain amount of work every week, and if he doesn't get it, he'll get mad and won't give you any money at all

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

They get the idea. They can even explain it back to me (though they're as likely to say that the money is for toys as they are to say, for example, food).

They just know what they'd prefer over me working.

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[–] Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca 95 points 1 day ago (17 children)

I'm not going to lie, that last one is the hardest thing for me.

After years of trades i always loved having a physical thing you can touch and feel at the end of the day. I'm in university for tech, and i'm still struggling with the lack of achievement. I don't often get to see someone use a thing I worked on, so it kinda feels like I spent a lot of time doing nothing.

[–] Lyrl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 hours ago

I work in a manufacturing plant. I am not a programmer, but I work with several supporting my projects on the manufacturing equipment. I find it wild that they stay in the front office building all the time, and are generally resistant to coming out on the plant floor and seeing the physical stuff being made because of their programs. That's the best part IMO!

That's why so many programmers want to work in game development. It feels good when you made something that brings people joy.

And that's why game developers are paid terribly

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[–] kamen@lemmy.world 18 points 21 hours ago (8 children)

"My dad does a programmer."

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