this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2026
1200 points (99.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38200 readers
4655 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 259 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

You: Cool! The entrance to the subway is around the corner.

Bob: Thanks for the help, friend!

You: You’re welcome! Good luck.

[–] homes@piefed.world 108 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

I have always thought that being able to read, let alone write, Cyrillic cursive is a form of magic. I’ve known a lot of grown Russian men who absolutely could not do either.

[–] gegil@sopuli.xyz 38 points 1 week ago

I write all text in my own custom font, which only i can read. I cant barely read other cursive cyrillic text.

[–] milk_steak@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Obligatory лишишь ("you will deprive"). Cyrillic cursive really is wild

[–] AppleTea@lemmy.zip 31 points 1 week ago

Damn, these look kinda fun...

[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I feel like at least the example here is very legible. What I can not do is read Sütterlin, a historic form of German handwriting script. The text in this postcard is German, which is my native language. Except for some very simple words like "wir" or "mit", I cannot read this.

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 week ago

What was interesting about my son with down syndrome: as he learned to read he became a master at reading cursive...somehow.

We'd hand him Christmas cards that we struggled to read from old European relatives(that wrote in older script) and somehow he'd read it off no problem.

My guess is words always needed decoding for him and context played a role in guessing the word, so it became a skill somehow

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You: you're inside it already my dude

Bob: o rly?

You: ya rly

Bob: thanks bro

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You: the existence of the subway is actually a lie to make Russia look strong to the west.

Bob: oh damn

You: we aren't allowed to talk about it in English. The birds are microphones.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 week ago

I don't think bad marks were justified. This is how I see every interaction go with polyglot colleagues, its like a modem handshake and they settle into the most comfortable common language

[–] mastertigurius@lemmy.world 93 points 1 week ago (20 children)

Hhhhehhhhh.... Why do some teachers feel the need to be such dicks? Just smile, have a laugh, get with the joke, let it spice up your life.

[–] AyuTsukasa@lemmy.zip 170 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I can laugh and not give them the points at the same time.

[–] turdas@suppo.fi 64 points 1 week ago (8 children)

The "???" suggests they didn't get the joke. Like come on, not even a sarcastic "very funny, 2/5"?

[–] Klear@quokk.au 53 points 1 week ago

I read the ??? as "Are you fucking kidding me?"

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Yawweee877h444@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Same score but an LOL instead of ???

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] drcobaltjedi@programming.dev 55 points 1 week ago (2 children)

One time back in AP physics on a test I was prompted with "Find the accelerating force on the electron". I could not think of the way to do that in the moment, so I literally wrote No, and wrote down a fake answer so I could use that number for the next part of the problem. I got back the test a few days later and the teacher wrote a smiley face down there. Apparently I made her laugh so long and so hard her family had to check in on her so she just gave me the points.

[–] faythofdragons@piefed.social 15 points 1 week ago

Back in middle school history, they wanted to know who the UK Prime Minister was during WWI, and I couldn't remember so I wrote down James Bond, and got half credit for making the teacher laugh.

[–] AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

in college calc classes, my handwriting was famously quite poor. I'd scribble down some illegible notes and formulas, draw a few pictures illustrating the problem, then come up with a random answer. most of my classes graded work, not correct answers, so if I had an inkling of the right way to do it I could fake it and usually get at least 75% credit for the question.

always hated the questions that make you use the answer from previous questions. always a good time when you get to the end and have a nonsensical answer and have to redo 4 pages to find where you forgot to carry a 1.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

when it's every now and then it's great! but some students try to get out of learning by being funny, and it's your job to actually teach them something

[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

On our German tests back in hs, there was a vocab section where we'd use words in sentences. I didn't know one of the words in one of the tests, so I wrote "ich weiß nicht was bedeutet", which means "I don't know what means". Our teacher accepted that one with a laugh, but said it was a one time thing and it would not be allowed again. People still tried their luck with similar tricks after that, but got nothing.

Me, I was just surprised she'd never seen that in her career before. I wasn't expecting to get any points for that. Thought she for sure would have had other smartass students like me.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] homes@piefed.world 20 points 1 week ago

Plus, if that kid can write in Cyrillic cursive, good for them!

load more comments (16 replies)
[–] alexc@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Reversed, this is how English as a first language conversations go in foreign lands

[–] mech@feddit.org 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In many countries they don't even ask. They recognize your accent and reply in English right away.

[–] NotSteve_@piefed.ca 9 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Very much how it is in Québec which is unfortunate as someone trying yo better my French

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

In American English it would go

"Do you speak English"

"Nein"

"O K. I. Will. Talk. Slow. So. You. Can. Under. stand. Me."

[–] wieson@feddit.org 46 points 1 week ago (15 children)

Sometimes, I think it's funny that in Anglo countries it's referred to as ESL, English as a second language.

For us (and I guess many others) it was always English as a foreign language. Could be first foreign language, second foreign language...

[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

second language just means any languages that aren't your first language. not the second language you learn.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Viewing it as primary/secondary makes more sense of it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you're learning in an English speaking country, they're not going to call English a foreign language.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Majority of the world speaks a single language or two at most. Shit half the people I see online can't even speak one.

It makes sense you when you look at it like that. most people in ESL programs only speak a single language, if you speak more than two you probably don't need ESL classes and can learn on your own.

[–] squaresinger@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (11 children)

Languages come in tiers. English is the global lingua franca. People use it to speak to anyone, no matter whether English native speaker or not. If someone from Norway wants to talk to someone from Japan, they'll most likely use English since both of them likely speak it.

Then there's regional lingua francas, languages like Spanish, Russian or Mandarin. These languages are popular in specific parts of the world and often used to get around there. Someone from Ukraine can speak to someone from Belarus using Russian.

Lastly, there's local languages that are spoken only in a country (or even only a part of a country). People speak them because that's what they were grown up with.

So in general, there's 4 "language slots" of languages people speak:

  • The global lingua franca
  • The regional lingua franca
  • The language of the country they live in
  • The language they grew up with

One language can fill multiple slots.

So for example, if you grew up in Ukraine and moved to Germany, you might speak the following languages, according to the slots above:

  • English
  • Russian
  • German
  • Ukranian

If you are born in Wales and never moved away, it might look like this:

  • English
  • English
  • English
  • Welsh

If you spent your life in the US, it would be like this:

  • English
  • English
  • English
  • English

This is the reason why people living in countries with lower-tier languages frequently speak 3-4 languages, while English native speakers really struggle to even learn the basics of one additional language. Because the former group has an actual use for more than one language, while the latter one don't.

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] Tja@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Source? I think speaking one language is pretty rare. Most Europeans speak at least two, most Africans I've met speak 3, lots of Indians speak 3 as well...

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (11 replies)
[–] eah@programming.dev 38 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I reject your reality and substitute my own!

[–] BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Fun fact, Adam Savage got that quote from an old coworker who lifted it from 1984’s “The Dungeonmaster” which is ‘so bad it’s good’.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Bazell@lemmy.zip 32 points 1 week ago

How the dialog trully should have happened:

[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Haha! I am an ESL teacher in Korea. One of the funniest things I've had a student submit was about their family's favorite foods. A student somehow managed to translate "chicken" as "cock". More than one of their family members liked "cock" a whole lot.

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Oh, I know how that one happened. A rooster is also called a cock, though we don't much use that word anymore, for obvious reasons. Probably didn't know the word and checked Google Translate or something similar.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] mudkip@lemdro.id 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As someone who understands this language, this is hilarious.

[–] Stitch0815@feddit.org 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Could you kindly translatem?

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

You: Of course! Go via metro around the corner.

Bob: Thank you for your help, friend!

You: Nothing of it! (but I don't know what that last word "удамй" means)

[–] Pika@rekabu.ru 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's "удачи"=good luck!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Saprophyte@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It's around the corner

Thanks friend

You're welcome

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Reminds me of how TV shows / movies just depict characters from a non-English country speak their native language for like 2 seconds before switching back to... English... for the rest of the conversation...

like... huh?

oh yea cuz its fiction and they don't want the audience having to read subtitles all the time...

Like who does that?

I came to the US at age 8 and still have to use my native language at home... like it feel really weird to be using English at home...

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

I think MGS: 3 does this best. The entire game takes place in Russia and most of the dialogue outside of with command is with Russians so they just say that the characters are speaking Russian to each other. Pretty sure the scientist you meet at the beginning of the game even comments on Snakes Russian being good.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] FishFace@piefed.social 7 points 1 week ago

Do you find it weird that Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet and King Lear are all written in English? We've been doing this for centuries.

Having a snippet of native language is a more modern invention as far as I know (because if you can't rely on the audience understanding the language, you need to subtitle the snippet), but it's just a way of communicating to the audience in what language the conversation is taking place by showing, rather than telling.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Why would the question have 5 lines instead of 3, it’s almost entrapment

load more comments
view more: next ›