Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, kill them
this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2026
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Join the army, ~~see the world, meet interesting people, kill them~~ clean toilets for 4 years.
I hated the recruitment texts and calls. The high school and university apparently just give your information to recruiters.
Wait, this a real thing? That's so... American I guess.
Yep. It's actually the whole reason we have phy ed.
Basically if you get federal funds, you have to do what the federal says.
I see, I always assumed it was either people giving their info themselves or others did to prank you. I guess it makes sense for a country who loves perpetual war.
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one of them tried to corner me into agreeing to let him come pick me up and talk in person. probably because he felt it would make me more compliant if alone with him. like a child predator.
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Yeah, but if you go to a good high school they send recruiters who may tell you to commission instead of only to enlist
And no they don't take "ineligible" for an answer. I didn't want to die for oil, but even if I did they wouldn't let me, but they also wouldn't leave me alone.
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did you take the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery? One day "off" of classes in exchange for taking the military test. In exchange, you give the military your contact information yourself.
i did not take the test. i got way fewer recruitment letters and calls than my friends.
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I actually wanted to join the military fresh out of high school but I was informed by my recruiter that they don't take autistic people
It's a loss to their logistics supply corps.
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Soooooo, at what day do you get your own grenades?
Sooner than you'd think.
And they'll remove the shipping pin for you before handing it over.
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"so i understand you take men in your military. did you have to be born that way?" got them to stop calling me altogether back during DADT.
I told them I was a conscientious objector in 2001 and never heard from any of them ever again.
when "I am not going to join, please stop calling" doesn't work, you have to know the actual magic words.
unfortunately I fear that gets you put on a list you dont want to be on
We're already on all the lists.
Oldest child was contacted via text by a recruiter. We told them to waste their time. Say "yes, I'll talk to you about it if you treat ME to a meal at [local restaurant]." (emphasis mine)
The recruiter ghosted them after that.
We had an army recruiter come talk to our history class in high school (this was in the '80s). After the guy's talk he said "any questions"?" My friend Rob said "yeah, I have a question: does napalm still stick to kids?"
Ironically that's a good recruiter. Anything that looks like fraternizing with potential recruits outside official activities is a huge no no.
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That reply alone should’ve been the end of the conversation 😭
"I mean, I wanna—I wanna kill. Kill. I wan—I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill. Kill. Kill! Kill!" And I started jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" and he started jumpin' up and down with me and we was both jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill! Kill!" And the sergeant came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, and said, "You're our boy." Didn't feel too good about it.
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Do military recruiters actually just cold call (well, text) you like that in the US?
Yes, and of course they're allowed to lie to children as well
The Army came to my highschool my senior year and put on an exhibition. They had Humvees and APCs and a massive wall of speakers that would make a passerby deaf at 40 yards. You were able to get out of class if you went to the event and listened to their pitch. I was one of like 4 kids who didn't go. Parents weren't told about this in advance, and there were recruiters there with pens waiting.
TBF, my school did have JROTC program but still... I think thats what set off my long history of being anti-that.
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Yeah, I got a call when I was sixteen or so several years ago. They strung me along for quite a while just acting like they knew me. I was trying to figure out how I knew them and finally they said they were a recruiter and I told them I wasn't interested. I wish I told him to fuck off, but that's not the kind of kind I was.
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I bet b he’s good buddies with SSG Leaudrag.
in Russia, they agitate during their studies, promising a diploma) I can already see how such a person who has received a diploma in this way will work well in education.
The bar has been low for at least 30 years. Marine recruiter wouldn't leave me alone even after I started hitting on him.
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I assume everyone has heard the Arlo Guthrie thanksgiving song. "I wanna kill, kill, kill, kill!" "You're our boy."
When I was working retail, stocking shelves, one of those scumbags walked up to me and asked "so is this what you want to do for your life, are you happy here?"
Like what the fuck.
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"Are you saying I can take skulls and spill blood? If so, sign me up! I gotta make Daddy Khorne pleased."
Our bestest ally and only democracy in the Middle East needs wall lickers to usher in their bizarre delusions.
Want to know more?
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