36" tall, 2-ton creature
3 feet tall, 4000 pounds?
this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2026
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op is dense fella
He's a cheese wheel!
They called 'em the Lead Pancake in high school.
Girthy.
You remember the song “George Washington, George Washington 3 feet tall and 4000 pounds”
George Washington by Brad Neely.
Washington, Washington. six-foot-eight, weighs a fucking ton (VIEWER WARNING: He'll save children, but not the British children.)
Also later in the song:
- "six-foot-twenty, fucking killing for fun",
- "12 stories high, made of radiation"
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Look, look. Look, this is what I was asked to build. Eighteen inches. Right here, it specifies eighteen inches. I was given this napkin, I mean...
Maybe some sort of clonal shrub, like an aspen but shorter? XD
Thanks for the correction!
Someone here has dated that person. You KNOW they have...
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At first yes. But then you'd be zipping around it because it is soooo slooooow
Unless you're my geriatric dog, in which case, you refuse to move no matter what the huge animal near you is doing, and just give them a hurt look when they walk into you.
How dare you hurt that poor sweet baby! Everyone knows that hallways, door frames, and kitchens are made for lounging!
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The was a corgi my friends family had, a former show dog, he would intentionally lay behind someone who is standing in a hallway or other passage. He knew he would get tripped over, because he also knew he'd get affection and apology cuddles after.
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I don't think my cat knows that he's faster than me, he is very dumb XD
He just cannot comprehend your lack of agility and reflexes.
I guess "serious injury from stumbling on level ground" isn't something cats really have to worry about XD
Cats are reeeal dumb animals, but people think they are smart because they are pretty.
They are relatively smart, but they think like cats not like people and people love to anthromorphize their pets.
Thanks, i guess...
Housecats, not khajit. Y'all are smarter and uglier ^before^ ^Skyrim^ ^at^ ^least^
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If smart means 'thinks like a human' then I guess so..
here, smart means "aware enough to not run under a titan's feet", a test cats fail to meet regularly.
they're oblivious little derps
You're whiffing on the point. That's not usual behavior for stray or wild cats, it's a specialised behavior that involves people and other animals they feel are 'safe.' Not an intelligence issue.
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The fact that they understand dignity hides the fact that they din't understand much in general
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Humans are to cats as cars are to humans: similar difference in weight and size, similar (if not greater) danger—but we walk around them because we’re used to them and we think we can predict them well enough. And because we’re often going to the same places.
Finally, a good answer!
But cars freak me out..
The only reason I walk around them is because I have to, not because I want to
I once stepped directly in the middle of my cats back walking down stairs. Instead of putting my weight down I fell backward, landing on my elbow a couple stairs down. All my weight. It took months to be able to lean on my elbow without pain. Pretty sure it was fractured.
Mine also try to kill me on the stairs. As soon as I start to walk up, they run up a few stairs ahead of me and then stop like assholes. Especially in the dark. Thankfully they don't hang out on the stairs at other times so I know its going to happen because I hear them.
I’ve started walking up them very slowly, so now they continue the game in the hallways and are guaranteed to get kicked at least once, at which point I say “by now you know I can’t see in the dark, you deserved that.” Rather than rewarding them with apology attention.
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It's not your home.
It's the cat's home.
You are its servant and caretaker, and it is training you.
This is why my chickens terrify me. They used to be 25 feet tall, just a handful of dozens of million years ago.
Fucking murder machines.
They are being careful. They're just so much more agile than you.
Uh mine gets kicked accidentally at least once a day despite me trying to be careful. She is orange, though. She gets so excited for food that shin-headbutts slow down the food-getting process by 3/4ths.
She is orange, though.
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- 36 inches is about the height of a human 2 year old.
- Assuming average weight of a 2 year old is 30lbs.
- Assuming average body mass density is the same as water (1g/cm^3 ).
Then average volume of a 2 year old is:
(30lbs * 453.5924g/lbs) * cm^3 /1g = 13607.772cm^3
- Assuming volume is constant, but weight increased to 2 US tons
Then final creature density is:
(2 * 2000lbs * 453.5924g/lbs) / 13607.772cm^3 = 133.333...g/cm^3
That is about 6 times denser than the heaviest measured element and a little over half the density of the solar core.
I sincerely hope my math is right, but this is a shitpost and I didn't have paper so :shrug_emoji_1:
Knowledge is being able to do the math.
Wisdom is realizing OP made a mistake with his numbers
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Your cats are trying to kill you.
OP, you're the enemy AT-AT.
" inches - two syllables ' feet - one syllable
Square-cube law, mate. Cats are far stronger per gram than us. It would be more like us living with a 3 meter orc that weighed 500kg. Not great, but not terrible. I'll run the numbers and get back to you.
If your species showed affection by rubbing against others and you trusted the creature not to step on you, and you were trying to act all sweet to beg for food tho...
For a real answer, they’re claiming the space. They’re demonstrating that they can control it and you
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My cat is always trying to trip me. Then again, she looks and acts like one of her parents was an African wildcat straight from the savanna. Even when she’s being purry and cuddly laying in my nook, she keeps trying to lovingly bite my face off and when I play with her, she does backflips several feet into the air trying to catch whatever toy I’m animating for her. Little creature is half wild!
Because they trust us to not step on them. They see that we try to avoid them, and so, of course we won't hurt them!
Smart but not quite smart enough to realize accidents happen lol.
They do seem to know if someone is disabled though and tend to either run faster (to clear the person's path faster) or give a wider birth from what I've seen. They have to be near the human for awhile to realize though, that's a learning curve for them.
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