I honestly can't tell what's real any more. Which is the whole idea, I guess.
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2026
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Same. But because I still try to maintain some sense of whatever insanity is happening in the world, I checked and this one is real. 😞
Jesus, I thought for sure this one was fake. Nope.
Just kill me, before my brain commits suicide after reading more of those "messages".
This is the second of his brain farts, where I seriously thought: 'nope,this one has to be a troll'. And surprise: it's real!
I mean, big fat hug????
It's even "big, fat, hug" with that superfluous comma of pride in creating big boy lists.
big, boy, lists
I will not besmirch myself by clicking on that.
If you think you can cope with never being 100% sure if it's real or not, be my guest.
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My perception is increasingly getting inverted: the crazier and more absurd, the likelier the post is real. This is not healthy for my brain.
Every time Trump makes a tweet, I cannot gauge whether it's fake or real. How can a nation elect something like that?
Oh, hey — I've gone through this since his first term.
Yeah I asked my Trump loving office trog what he thinks about all the stuff Trump, Hegseth and the other sycophants say. His response boiled down to 'I don't pay attention to everything they say or do.'
The average Trump voter will not be described as discerning in the history books. It's a shame they've been allowed to be the loudest Americans.
Holy fuck, he really IS declining fast. The language in this post is even dumber and more childlike than normal. We gotta get this fucker out of the WH.
He is no longer writing on 8 grade level. He is writing on 8-year-old level
the amount of stress hes under to keep epstein news at bay, and coming up with distraction after distraction is taking its toll.
Wait wait wait, so he's simultaneously blockading AND opening the strait?
Dafuq?
We're changing the name to "Schrödinger's Strait"
It exists in a state of superposition until an oil tanker explodes
Shouldn't that be "Schrödinger's Blockade"? It both exists and doesn't, but the waveform cannot be collapsed even by observing whether a ship gets through or interdicted.
OK, yes, “Schrödinger’s Blockade” is better.
of course it has to involve a persian cat to test it.
"Sir, China just went though our blockade."
"Nahhh I letted them go in it cas me big strong and the love me. I'm the bestes like no one has ever bested before. "
shrodingers strait, it would be a persian cat involved.
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Jesus fuckin christ, it's like a child wrote it. I was sure this was fake, it had to be fake. I just wish it was fake.
Oh, China is very happy, that part I believe.
As does the economist
China gets 37% of the oil normally going through the strait. So while China might be happy that the US is projecting less power, I assume the oil shortage will still be painful for China in the short run.
https://www.visualcapitalist.com/charted-oil-trade-through-the-strait-of-hormuz-by-country/
Agreed, but they increase their renewable energy Produktion massivley in the last years. While they might feel the shortage, i think the West is less prepared.
I'm very good at translating idiot speak and even I don't get it. He's declining fast.
Now open the strait of Epstein you fat fuck
Ai, please write the stupidest shit ever about how I'm going to open the straight of Hormuz after I shut it down for a month with a stupid war. Mention Xi in a rudely polite asshole way. Make it sound like I'm 5 and the straight of Hormuz is really straight and hasn't sucked me off. Again the guy is straight, not like Bubba.
*me, punching you in the face:
"Aren't you glad I'm helping?"
I'd like to see Trump fight. It'd be funny.
"I know fighting. NOBODY knows more about fighting than me. I was at the MMZ the other night. Big guys came up to me, tears in their eyes, "MR PRESIDENT, can you give me some advice for my next fight?"
"Don't get in the octagone with everybody's favourite president", I told him. I meant it as a joke. I do that self-depreciating humour, because I'm so humble. Lot of people don't think I am, but I am. I don't like to brag, but I'm the best at self-depreciting. Believe me. Believe me.
Anyway, you could tell from the fear in his eyes he thought I was serious. Which is okay. If I was there, it would be MY ring. I wouldn't want to be in my ring with me either".
Everyone just starts crying around donald apparently, specially tough masculine guys
*Women are actually pretty happy that I’ve decided to finally treat them with respect. I’m doing it for them, sure — but also for myself, and honestly for society as a whole. This kind of situation won’t happen again. They’ve basically agreed to respond better to me now that I’m acting different. I mean, when I show up, they’ll probably appreciate it — maybe not say it outright, but you can tell.
We’re working together now, in a smarter way, and it’s going really well! Isn’t that better than all the conflict and rejection??? BUT REMEMBER, I could go back to how things were before if I wanted to — I just don’t, because I’m choosing the better path now.*
That's not from Trump. While it uses his phrasing, sort of, the whole thing stays on one point and is generally cohesive.
Giveaway for me was he didn't sign off on a topic like this with a "Thank you for your attention to this matter". But maybe he doesn't like us giving attention to these matters. Who knows.
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(9 replies)
- President DJT
AKA
President Don't Jump Theshark
So because China said fuck you were going through the strait anyways, he's taking credit for their entering? Lol The Nuh uh, is too strong with that one.
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Trump's tweets become 10x funnier and 20x more sad when you read them in Chris Chan's voice
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He saw money being exchanged for passage and he's such an entrepreneur he copied the idea
...This just cannot be real.
… And yet …
Alright granddad, let's get you to bed.
Lead him to a coffin.
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