Can we get a reputable coven of witches to hex these fuckers?
Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
I once went to the ed for butt disease related dehydration. The idiot PA manning the ed would not be gainsayed about my medical history that I was there for, not him. It could be possible that his 15 second glance through my 400 volume medical records may have missed some nuanced. But no, according to him I had the flu not the fatal butt disease..I meani get it out was in the middle of a flu outbreak and I was merely missing half of my butt and much of everything above it. My fatally afflicted by butt disease parts were just at the store buying cigarettes I couldn't know what I'm talking about.
A week later I get a letter from the medical group my insurance is through. "Jello my liege YMCA blah blah blah you went to the hospital when you only had the flu
Are you having a fucking stroke, you can't use a word like gainsay if you're not going to use proper grammar throughout the comment.
I read that twice and I still don't know what is going on.
I had no problem with it. Dude's got the butt disease and insurance (predictably) fucking sucks.
This is why we need the Mario Party
What's the guy gonna do? Sue them? He's dead. Murdered by the capitalist authoritarians.
The only rightful place for kings is under the blade of a guillotine.
Can't the family sue?
Ah yes, America, where corporate murder and tragic loss of life is compensated with money.
Guillotines are too 18th century. I am a fan of woodchippers. Feet first, of course!
I believe this is what is meant by "pull oneself up by one's bootstraps"
I don't want to hear a billionaire shrieking as their toes are mulched. Even if they're parasites, it'll still sound like a human shrieking as their toes are mulched.
Just guillotine them and redistribute their wealth already.
a scimitar would be sufficient.
The most painful thing we can do to them is take their money and make them live like the rest of us.
Luigi, where are you?
They locked up an innocent man. Luigi didn't do NOTHIN!
Nah he got arrested for taking out the trash. The former mayor and disgrace Eric Adams should get a bigger perp walk for his corruption case than the badass one Luigi got.
hes fighting his alter ego waluigi.
Whenever an economic argument is invoked to justify for or against doing something, it’s always a vacuous position.
Economics must be subservient to the needs of the society it exists within.
This is flat out no different than shooting someone in my book.
This is why people are behind Luigi.
Hey, I'm a people! I'm behind Luigi! I'm proof of this!
When money dictates how the world should work.
It's like the trolley problem, except on one track is somebody's beloved father and on the other is some executive's 5th yacht.
I remember when I was 5 years old, my dad tried asking me the trolley problem.
So I took my train, and yelled at the G.I. Joes on my tracks "GET OFF THE TRAIN TRACKS, IDIOTS!!!" and ran them over. Then I backed the train up, switched tracks, and ran over spiderman. Then I yelled "FREE BONUS POINTS!!!". Then I punched my dad in the balls, and ran upstairs giggling.
About a year ago my dad reminded me of that story. I'm in my 40s now. So I told him "I stand by that decision."

They kill us through fraud And theft, and are surprised that we celebrated Luigi's deeds. The truth is they will only start to care when more of them start to drop. How many more millions need to die because of this BS before we're ready to bring justice down on their heads as a collective class?
So are they going to be as surprised and outraged again when another Mario brother shows up to clean up this mess?
What's ironic is that the big opposition from the GOP to ObamaCare was this ludicrous idea of "Death Panels" weighing human life against budgets.
And yet, when the panels are a dictatorial insurance algorithm, where is that classic 2009-2010 outrage?