Holy shit. I've played through all of the souls games and only just now am realizing just how many churches are in the games.
this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2026
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Strip mall fundie cult backrooms.
I'd play that.
Luthern Dark Souls is more horrifying than you could possibly imagine.
A dark spirit has invaded
Paul, Bringer of Quiche
Protestants, stale coffee and donuts
Don't forget Orange Pekoe tea that has been brewing since 1890.
Wilting veggie tray, grapes, and apple juice for the kiddos
which is stale because fuck it as long as i didn't have to make breakfast
edit who am i kidding i'll spend a few dollars and take the missus out to brunch instead of subjecting her to church i'm not that mean
Dark Souls, Protestant Uprising DLC:
- All health items are reskinned as various types of potluck casserole.
- Wall art updated with children's drawings of random Bible scenes.
- Library has various weird children's books, the entire collection of Veggie Tales, the Ten Commandments, and Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ, (VHS only).
- Visible signs of water damage on the carpets and tiled fiberboard ceiling.
- The parking lot is full of Lincoln Towncars that look like they have never been driven anywhere and farm trucks that look like they've been driven everywhere.
- Parishioner characters on site increase dramatically during Christmas and Easter, then disappear the following Sunday.
Drop ceilings and the squishy uneven carpeted floors of mobile classroom units. Shudders
Now here’s a person who’s heard “fellowship” used as a verb!
#"MY GOD HERE COMES THE TARNISHED WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!"
But protestant countries are full of awesome churches?
The post is referring to american protestant denominations like baptists, evangelicals, presbyterian, etc. as opposed to capital P Protestant churches. They're usually in smaller buildings that aren't full-time churches/ the space is often used for non-sermon church functions. For example, my childhood southern Baptist church was based out of a community center room that held ~40 people and hadnt been updated since the 80s
The post is referring to american protestant denominations like baptists, evangelicals, presbyterian, etc. as opposed to capital P Protestant churches.
They are still all capital P Protestant denominations. There is no European "Protestant church", those are also various denominations like Lutheran, Anglican, Calvinist, Reformist etc. etc.
You're right, I was just using that to highlight the differences between American and European protestant churches. Most american churches have ~75 congregants and are fairly small operations run out of buildings that weren't built with the intention to be a church. As such, they usually lack the aesthetics associated with churches.
And to be fair, I've never been to a European protestant (of any variety) church, there's a cultural image in america of what the average European church looks like, and it's usually an older brick/stone building with high ceilings and round/arched windows, built with the intention of being a church. Many suburban american churches (this is where the folding chair trope comes from) looks more like this:
And this is a really nice example too, I had trouble finding one that reflected the true reality of many of these smaller churches.
Capital P in this instance is I believe referring to the 7 historical american Protestant denominations. The folding chair and strip mall variety are usually offshoots of the historical denomination.
american protestant denominations
One of the items Luther was protesting about was that churches were too expensive and ostentatious. So, no, unless you know if some protestants that aren't actually in the protest.
Plenty of protestant denominations have lost the plot on the whole "protesting" bit. Joel osteen and Kenneth Copeland's churches are considered to be in the protestant vein of christianity and their whole thing is flaunting wealth and having big, expensive churches. Whether they should be considered protestant is for the various flavors of protestant to decide. As far as I'm aware, there's no broad consensus that defines protestantism besides "likes martin luther", and "hates catholics*"
They just aren't christians. Literally the thing that Jesus died for was him driving out the people buying and selling shit in the temple. They use his name and likeness to sell shit when he literally had a sermon saying that every single rich person deserved to burn in hell (a camel going through the eye of a needle is impossible, and yet easier than it is for a rich man to enter heaven). And they especially cannot claim to be part of anything Martin Luther did. They treat his list of complaints more like a god damned to-do list than anything.
I could be wrong but aren’t those considered Non-denominational these days
Despite being called "non-denominational", non-denominational christians are a broad group of independent churches and spiritual movements that fall under the protestant tradition. They aren't a part of larger, more organized subsect of protestant like the baptists or lutherans, but their non-denominational-ism refers to not being a part of/neatly defined by an organized denomination of protestantism. Non-denominational Christianity can even be a nucleation point for new denominations, like the burgeoning evangelical movement that's become a driving force in the fall of the american empire
The words they’re looking for is “evangelical” or “nondenominational.”
Can confirm, German churches are cool Nevertheless the meme is funny
Almost all of which were built before the reformation.
Ulm Minster, Cologne Cathedral, Speyerer Dom, the Berlin Cathedral, all originally Catholic.
England is a better example since their brand of Protestantism really favored big works to rival the Catholics.
TIL! Thank you, I thought the Protestant split happened way earlier
Those aren't really Protestant churches, are they? Aren't they Anglican Church or something?
The Anglican church is technically also a Protestant church.
Huh, didn't realise. It's for sure not catholic, but thought it was something in between.
Edit: Right, you did say technically. According to Wikipedia,
The degree of distinction between Protestant and Catholic tendencies within Anglicanism is routinely a matter of debate both within specific Anglican churches and the Anglican Communion.
Weren't most of them Catholic when they were built?
That's true for most of Europe, since protestant split happened so late
That would be the only soulslike on steam I might buy.
Tbh dark souls 3 had too many cathedrals, so I'd be okay with a few rooms with folding chairs.