this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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[–] Manticore@lemmy.nz 26 points 6 days ago (2 children)

??? It d9esnt matter if you thought it was shoes, you don't open other peoples mail?? In what country is it legal to do that wtf

[–] Liz@midwest.social 26 points 6 days ago

I assume Mom omitted the "my" in front of shoes, like she and expecting her own delivery and just thought it was hers without double-checking.

[–] hateisreality@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago (3 children)

You've never accidentally opened something before you looked at the name, (when expecting something)?

[–] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

No, because I always check the name first. What the hell is wrong with you people???

[–] fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 5 days ago

lived alone for like 5-6 years before getting housemates again, could definitely see this happening with a mom if you don't order much stuff at home 💀

[–] tautalas@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago
[–] Manticore@lemmy.nz 5 points 5 days ago

No...? If a courier delivers something to my door I look at the name to confirm they live here before signing. Including when I'm expecting a package. Mix-ups happen all the time.

[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 155 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 133 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay but if true moms did an amazing job with this

[–] hateisreality@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago

I've got no idea what that is, but it took me far too long to realize that was an amazing toilet paper dress

[–] recursive_recursion@piefed.ca 100 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Reverse searched and this is what the mom probably saw:

Bad Dragon based off the description on the packaging

[–] BrickEater@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Household favorite

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 56 points 1 week ago (3 children)

(Roll for plausible deniability) Mom, it’s just a mushroom model. I’m into….biology.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe 8 points 6 days ago

Don't worry about it mom, I'm just...a horny slut.

Mom, I'm on drugs.

[–] Noja@sopuli.xyz 15 points 1 week ago

They ship as silicone sculptures =)

[–] Curiousfur@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Small. What an absolute coward

[–] northface@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 days ago

Hey edgelord, please take your bullying and insecurity issues back to your friends on Reddit please.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 62 points 1 week ago

Don't be shaming people with limited capacity, they can't help it any more than any of us can help what our bodies are like

From a personal point of view, that looks like more fun than something modelled on a horse cock or whatever

[–] malle_yeno@pawb.social 33 points 1 week ago

Can we all agree to not joke about people playing within their limits from now on?

[–] thatsTheCatch@lemmy.nz 56 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Aaaaand that's why you mind your own business!

[–] SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Right? Oh she thought it was shoes? I'm still gonna ask why the fuck she opened someone else's shit!

[–] McGuirk808@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

I'm reading this as she ordered shoes recently and assumed it was her delivery without reading the shipping label.

[–] borkborkbork@piefed.social 9 points 6 days ago

thought it was her bad dragon order.

[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also based on a quick search that is not the worst thing a mother could see (although granted that would depend on the mom, this one seems chill enough)

[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ok, you're going to have to share with the class.

[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Its "Nova the Breeder" small, soft or soft shaft firm base

Looks like this(the small one) obviously NSFW

Tap for spoiler

[–] northface@lemmy.ml 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

What's the reference object to the left supposed to be? A soda can?

[–] OldSageRick@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago

Yes normal, as in most common, soda can

I was hoping for a weird giant octopus thing. Like 8 ft across or whatever.

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] unwillingsomnambulist@midwest.social 53 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oversized, somewhere in that space between comically and frighteningly.

[–] northface@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 days ago

They come in a wide variety of sizes, from very small to (as you put it) comically/frighteningly large, so as to cater to most people depending on their preference.

Granted, the theme is usually "creature" (fantasy or real) rather than "human", but that doesn't mean they only have one size for each creature imagined!

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

As a cis person ITT:

"OH... Ohh! OH!"

takes notes

[–] M137@lemmy.today 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ah, yes, only non-cis people use sex toys.... It has nothing to do with you being cis, more that you've either never browsed a porn site in the last 20 years or have a very specific kind of site you go where those would never show up, and also don't have fun friends.

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip -1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Sorry my sexdrive isn't my personality?

[–] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ok, cool. But... What does being cis have to do with not owning a dragon cock dildo??

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip -2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The venn digram between furry culture and trans culture often times looks like an askew lid on a jar.

I'd also like to point out that just because I've pointed this out, and made fun of/with it, that I don't mind, personally.

but tbh, the blank "What do you mean Hank Hill wouldn't talk about dragon dildos with the boys?" thought was hilarious for a minute

[–] fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

lmfao it doesn't really look like you're bothered by it really, imo anyways, but it's such a non-sequitur to point out that you're cis. i think it probably would have been clearer if you'd just said "as a non-furry"

respectfully, there are plenty of suburban white folks who are freaks with it (positive) and wouldn't bat an eye at a bad dragon dildo. you probably could have said "as a vanilla person", also

you're poking fun at it, but i get the feeling you wouldn't take well to having your own lack of sex knowledge made fun of, so i'll leave it at that

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 2 points 4 days ago

All good, I know I basically walked right up to Rome and made fun of Caesar.

The negative reaction has been expectedly less than I prepared for, all things considered.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 75 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You do know cis people are allowed sex toys too, right?

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Come to think of it, my cock ring hasn't come up too many times at the weekly D&D with the boys. I'll wait on the right storyline.

[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 6 days ago

If youre not paying dick & Dragons yet.... Idk

[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

Thanks for reminding me I've got a daki on the way. Time to check the mail every hour.