this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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No, seriously. A lot of the time after I use one, it results in some kind of mess with varying degrees of subtlety. It's been mildly irritating for years and I'm starting to feel like I'm missing something obvious.

Are you supposed to aim toward the center? To one side? High? Low? Into the drain/water?

I've tried aiming near the side so that the stream hits the urinal quietly and has a low angle of deflection, thinking it'll minimize splash back. But sometimes it seems like there are tiny droplets in a radius around the stream and some flecks will get onto the outside of the urinal, which is no good.

I've tried aiming at the deepest part in the back of the urinal, hoping that the intense splashing from hitting it at close to a 90-degree angle will be counterbalanced by the greatest amount of surrounding urinal surface in the vicinity, but this is too optimistic and tends to deposit a fine mist on the floor between me and my target.

I've tried aiming downwards at the drain, or when it's the style of urinal with a standing water level, at the back half of the water where it's shallow. This is loudest and probably provokes silent judgment from anyone else unfortunate enough to be using the bathroom at the same time as me, but it doesn't seem to be especially good at minimizing mess and in the case of standing water, has a low chance of splashing an actually threatening amount of liquid back in my direction.

Perhaps it's just inevitable that this particular plumbing fixture comes with a little mess involved. In other areas of life we are fine with periodically cleaning in our Sisyphean struggles against the various avenues where dirt and grime accumulate. But I want to be a conscientious user of shared facilities, damn it. And there's only so many times a guy can discreetly wipe off his shoe with a paper towel before going insane.

Please help.

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[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 1 points 21 minutes ago

It's a pistol, not a rifle. Get closer.

[–] glibg@lemmy.ca 7 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm with you on this. But the good thing is, we're not alone.

https://www.livescience.com/technology/engineering/new-urinal-designs-could-prevent-up-to-265-000-gallons-of-urine-from-spilling-onto-the-floor-each-day

Around 1 million liters (264,172 gallons) of urine are spilled onto the floor and walls of public restrooms each day in the U.S.

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

It's not just urinals. The first day of the year with shorts at home always brings a surprise chilly mist on my shins from a regular toilet. It is what it is. You're doing it as good as it gets. Either you're experiencing the normal amount of spray or your stream makes extra spray. Either way, it is what it is, it sounds. All you can do is lean forward and spread your feet asuch as you can to avoid collecting the mist. Side wall is my go-to. Lipped walls are my enemy.

[–] SociallyAwkwardLinux@lemmy.world 8 points 19 hours ago

A pub that I like shows football (n.am. soccer) matches. The urinals have little football nets with a little football hanging from a string mid-net, and if you aim just right, the ball spins around and around. I aim for that.

This advice is not easy to generalize outside of this particular pub, but I wish you luck.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 4 points 20 hours ago

There will probably be a small logo, a mark, or, commonly, a depiction of a fly.

Pee on that.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 65 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

We theoretically predict and experimentally validate that when the impinging angle is below an invariant critical value of ∼30^◦^, the flow rate of splashback under human urination conditions can be significantly suppressed...

Thurairajah K et al. Splash-free urinals for global sustainability and accessibility: Design through physics and differential equations. PNAS Nexus. 2025 Apr 8

[–] subignition@fedia.io 19 points 1 day ago

I feel like I've found my people. Thank you. This is incredible.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

Urinal physics before GTA6

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Aim"? What's this "Aim" you speak of?

The only way I've ever known is to stand four feet back, whip down your pants and skivvies right down to your ankles and just firehose that sunuvabitch.

As God intended.

[–] YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh, hey dude. Haven’t seen you since our office moved, was wondering how you’ve been doing?!

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

Same as always. Just going with the flow.

[–] JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social 0 points 12 hours ago

You can do a 1080 into the urinal. I believe in you.

[–] Alberat@lemmy.world 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

aim for the water or the colored mats... other than that it's all the same afaik. if the urinal doesn't have a mat, maybe carry one around in your pocket

[–] bluesheep@sh.itjust.works 2 points 20 hours ago

I prefer to do it standing up but I guess you could do a handstand if you really wanted to

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

[off topic]

Every once in a while I find a place with the old style chest to floor urinals, the ones with a bowl the size of a sink at the bottom.

It took me years to realize that these were designed so that a drunk could stand up and vomit like a gentleman.

This is what they took from us.

I found a spot to do it where it splashes into my eye.

[–] rosco385@lemmy.wtf 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The only thing I've found that helps is if the urinal has one of these deodoriser mats. As long as you aim for the mat (coaster sized) there's no splashback, and a fresh scent to boot.

[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You might think theres no splashback but I hate to tell you others will smell the spray from the deodorizer mat on you

[–] EnsignWashout@startrek.website 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Yes. And the awkward social situation is when they ask what I'm wearing, but I didn't pay any attention to the brand of the urinal mat.

I don't want that to happen again, so now I'm careful to take note of the urinal mat branding.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 21 hours ago

I miss urinal cakes. Not accurately named.

[–] rosco385@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 day ago

I'm ok with smelling like wild cherry for part of the day.

[–] angelmountain@lemy.nl 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Over here urinals sometimes have a little image of a fly inside. This is where you aim for.

It all depends on the shape of the bowl.

Sitting is always better though.

[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 8 points 1 day ago

...man, don't sit on the urinal: it just leaves a mess and leads to awkward face-to-face conversations with the guy standing next to you...

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[–] Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

The best solution is to stand slightly to one side and pee almost parallel to the curved wall of the edge of the urinal. The goal is to get the stream to immediately adhere to the wall of the urinal and have friction slow it down as it curves toward the back, minimizing escape.

[–] Chozo@fedia.io 10 points 1 day ago

I like to aim for the little holes way at the top, where the water flows in from when you flush. I try to backflow my stream directly into the pipes. If you get it just right, you get this really deep, gurgling sound that emanates from the walls.

[–] paris@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Taking this as an opportunity to share my hatred for American Standard urinals. Those pieces of shit are optimized to maximize splashback and their wall-to-floor ones were cooked up by the devil itself to make sure bathrooms have piss all over the floor when you use the urinal. I fucking hate American Standard urinals they're fucking awful. Shout-out the fancy waterless round ones though. I don't remember the name of that company but I love their urinals they work great and I rarely get any splashback at all from any height.

[–] HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com 2 points 21 hours ago

Also urinals without dividers are the worst!

[–] Brkdncr@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In elementary school we would count to three start the flow and then see who could back up the furthest while still getting it mostly into the urnal.

[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 4 points 1 day ago

...ye gads, elementary school boys are the worst: we had gang urinals (big open troughs) and the shenanigans were epically horrific...

[–] JelleWho@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Here in EU/NL most stalls have installed an aim indicator where splashing would be reduced. Maybe you can find some imaging if you Google for it

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] dbx12@programming.dev 5 points 1 day ago

[...] put pictures of bees in urinals and toilets. They served as a target, but also a joke about the pronunciation of the honeybee's genus, Apis. Engineer and businessman Thomas Crapper [...] in the toilets his company produced [...]

Two puns for the price of one!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago
[–] Twinklebreeze@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Stand as close as you can to the urinal without touching it. I saw this advice on Reddit a decade ago. Someone said their drill instructor yelled at them for not knowing how to piss, and made them practice using a urinal. It works.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'd say aim at the back wall, but way down so it still hits the wall at an angle. And don't pull back your foreskin, pulling it back makes the stream harder and thus results in more splashback (I assume this isn't useful advice if you're circumcised). But TBH I don't like urinals, when possible I use a stall and sit down unless it's obviously dirty.

[–] furby@infosec.pub 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm with you on the first part but without pulling back the foreskin, achieving a laminar flow is difficult to impossible, further if you should have gotten there earlier, say between second and third litre of pepsi (no judgement) you're wrestling with a firehose which is imho the worst possible outcome.

Definitely pull it way back and then slightly forward to get a good uniform flow, especially if you were up to shenanigans the morning/night before so you don't pee sideways.

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