this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
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Maybe i'm weird, or mentally ill, but:
I just want a wife who makes her own lunch and wants to live in a 750K house and have 1 kid.
What women I meet want: to quit their job, have no kids, and live in a $5 million dollar house while i work 60+ hour weeks to pay for her to travel every other month for week long trips around the globe w/ her besties with minimum spends of about $30,000 a trip, and we have a paid servants to make us meals, clean, and in home personal trainer.
Meanwhile I'm over here cooking myself food, cleaning my own place, train myself, and DIY on my car/bike/house. But hey, I'm a 'loser' over here, living within my means and being happy about it rather than endlessly unhappy because of what I don't have and I think that I 'deserve' to have.
Just popping in to say it's insane that a 750k house is positioned as reasonable in this scenario. The housing market is truly insane.
Before anyone else comments, I get it, the market varies depending on where you live. Around me, "reasonable houses", that being 2 ish bedrooms, 1 ish bath, are somewhere between 250k and 500k. But that's still disgusting. 10 or 15 years ago that would've been 60 to 150k, in my same area. I'm still kicking myself for not buying back then, not that I had the means, but I almost did. Now? Sheesh.
The crazy part is, renting isn't even cheap!
Rent in my area is around 1.5k per month for 2 bedroom 1 bath.. My rent has been lower than that thankfully, though climbing, but that's the going rate.
With good credit, and 20k down, that could be a mortgage payment on an entire house twice the size. Still disgusting but at least then you're building equity of some sort.
But who's got that when 25% of Americans have no savings at all, and only 50% can cover 3 months expenses in an emergency?
Yet new housing is built all the time. Why? Because it's lucrative for those with gobs of money, holding all the housing.
My landlord is no saint, but he has 2 buildings, 4 units each, with detached garages. They aren't premium, slightly dated, but they're miles better than slumlord stuff. Nice neighborhood too. I'd put my grandma in there. Yet he consistently keeps the rent at less than 60% of the local average.
Honestly he SHOULD charge more. But I'm not telling him that. He does it because he can't stand the thought of gouging people to get rich. Though I'm sure he's still making plenty, as his new truck would indicate. But still.
My neighbors complain about him, and one even left. Then begged to come back because other renters locally were more expensive, and less attentive. He let them back 🤷♂️
Yet new housing is built all the time. Why? Because it’s lucrative for those with gobs of money, holding all the housing.
It’s really not being built at the amounts needed (at least, not in the places that need it most) which is why there’s a housing crisis. Those who already own housing benefit more from preventing new housing from being built by anyone other than themselves. Ensuring scarcity of housing while demand is continuing to grow from the population rising and average household size shrinking makes the housing they hold skyrocket in value.
Two anons demonstrate two sides of the misogyny coin
The first one isn't misogyny. Minus the specifivity of the "$2 million" part, its the Jewish tradition of what is required for a man to be able to propose. "Having kids is too expensive" is just the straight-up truth for anyone who isn't uncommonly comfortable relying on charity and/or society.
Like, are we going off the avatar, pretending a woman who says those things is crazy? Because she's absolutely not, and neither are the men trying to live up to those items, at a minimum.
expecting a 2 million dollar home, is legit crazy.
but sadly incredibly common. i own a condo worth like 800K, and repeatedly get informed that it's 'cheap and shitty'. it's fucking insane what some people expect as their 'minimum' lifestyle.
They think they are shooting you down, when really they are shoving you out of the way of the bullet that is themselves. “You know where to find me when you grow up" is a line I had worn-out by the end of my teens, yet I never get to leave it out of my repertoir for long.
The world is swimming in children of all ages. The only "favor" having them young migh do is forcing them to grow up a little earlier, and only if you're very lucky, they are still whole enough to both resent you for it and forgive you. People think their adult children still idolizing them is a good result, but those children are NOT grown.
My favorite is when they tell me I'm the immature one because I don't want to be their daddy.
And what sucks is there is nobody who isn't a bullet. Everyone is like this now, at least in my dating pool. People don't grow and self reflect as they age, they just double-down on their bitterness towards others. When they talk about 'growth and self reflection and emotional maturity' all they mean is they are more uncompromising in what they demand from others. They never think that maybe their 'standards' are totally absurd in light of the limits of economic, emotional, and physical reality of other people. Those limits only apply to themselves!
My favorite is the lady who tells you she doesn't care about money, or material things, etc. but her 'bare minimum' is you drive a 70K car, own a luxury home, and have some very prestigious job/career/education. meanwhile she's a mid-level office worker driving a beat up Toyota... and she seems absolutely nothing contradictory or hypocritical with this 'standard'. And she also thinks men are just all 'using her for sex and can't commit'... I wonder why... almost as if when you are a shallow transactional person you only end up with other shallow transactional people...
Home (at least somewhere they are welcome to stay, and comfortable staying...)
Income (Don't budge on this one)
Vehicle (or at least used to public transit/walking/biking enough to not treat you as a chaufer)
... all anyone needs to bring to the table on a material level. People will tell you about their standards all day long, but most are hypocrites - they are more flexible than they'll let-on and/or are probing for push-back, checking to see who will "wear the pants" in a relationship.
If you're inflexible your-self, with zero tolerance for bullshit or even a sense of humor about it, you're going to have a bad time.
People say "single people are single for a reason", but almost always pretend its unique to their age group or dating pool/whatever, but really its just-about equally true at all ages, and always applicable to onesself. Hardly anyone is single just-because their shitty ex was so shitty - shitty people attract shitty people, and its easier to make a new lover into a shitty person than to un-fuck what previous relationships and they have done to themselves, trying to hold-on to what they saw in so-and-so to the point that when its over they can't let go of all the bad "surprises" that awaited them.
Don't think of yourself or your experiences as so different from theirs. If you've had fewer, longer-term relationships than they, you still likely had many events where you and previous SO's fell in-and-out of love - you just happened to work through them until you didn't. In many cases, by most people's criteria, maybe you shouldn't have, and in just-as many, maybe your partner "should have" walked-away - its when "should have" wins-out over attachment that the relationship is dead, even if it doesn't know it yet.
That said, if someone demands to be treated like a pet, that's between you and them, and no, I'm not referring to furries or people who are self-aware, but the "don't you dare shatter my fantasies"-types. I don't have the patience to constantly pretend I am also surprised that the inevitable happened, but I've seen plenty who do. The ones that realize it aren't always so-bad off, unless its "I gotta pretend for th kid's sake". Generally, don't have kids with the poor, the disrespectful, OR the crazy, yeah?
No. I've had lots of kinds of relationships. dozens. short, long, one night stands, casual to we're going to get engaged serious.
and the all end because of bullshit. hypocrisy, lying, cheating or otherwise being dishonest about themselves or their intentions.
I don't bullshit or lie to people, I think it's pretty easy to do, personally. But I understand that for many people relationships are built on bullshit and lies, and nothing of substance and they don't know anything else is possible.
my favorite is the women who wanted to be no strings casual, but got bitter and jealous if they found out I was seeing someone else, but thought it was total legit for them to sleep around with whomever they wanted, but if I did that it was misogyny or abuse and when I laughed and walked away they were enraged, because the rules mutually agreed to only apply to her, not to me, or something.
You don't build on the bullshit and lies, but around it. It's a pain-in-the-ass, but so is dealing with a snitch who is incapable of lying. Personally, I tell my wife and kids to throw me under the bus as needed to get them out of awkward conversations and commitments they don't want to make. "My dad won't let me do that" works a treat. The latest was "my dad won't let me commit insurance fraud"(like I particularly care about insurance fraud, but my limits are surprisingly more restrictive than some we know who would never admit it).
cool. i'd want nothing to do with you or your wife if that's how you interact with other people. you sound like your both happy being shitty to other people together.
Nah, my wife is much more like you, and it's often exhausting, although she's learned a bit across the decades.
You're a little old to be equating the capacity to lie to get by, doing even the bare minimum to preserve your own and others' dignity, and feelings, with "being shitty". As if euphemism and metaphore are just "cool story-telling tricks we developed for some reason", or human recall doesn't make AI hallucinations look almost par for the course of actual intelligence.
No wonder you're single.
I'd rather be happy telling the truth than miserable being a lying bullshitting asshole.
Some people can't be happy unless they are lying and bullshitting, I am very aware how many folks go around in a perpetual cloud of delusional bullshit. Sound like you are one of them? cool.
People like you just demand to be lied to and will never admit when things are contrary to what they expect. Thinking you're really more truthful than others is just huffing your own farts.
I don't gaslight people - I come clean and what's this? I'm never called-out on things I've actually lied about - for anything that matters I was almost-always just wrong about something, genuinely confused, but good luck getting me to help you lie to yourself in a way that hurts people. Can you claim any of that with a straight face? Do you even own your mistakes, like ever? Doubt.
right, everyone is a liar, because you lie. and if they don't lie, they suck.
this is exactly how all my exes told me too. everyone cheats! if you aren't doing it, you're a chump! and anyone who is better than me, is shitty.
notice how in this, you're always right, and everyone else is wrong? funny how convenient that works out for you.
You've seriously got the wrong idea about me and what I was trying to say to you. I'm not trying to elevate liars, just people, versus the worthlessness of lies and petty truths that aren't helful.
You have suffered because you are too wrapped-up in one of the Three Sieves of Socrates . Most lies aren't worth calling out because doing so is not kind or helpful - particularly the lies that good people tell themselves to get through the day.
I never said you should or had to lie to get by, be a good person, or have a full understanding. I won't even pretend I'm too wrapped-up in the concept of trying to be a good person, BUT, the wicked man still knows what goodness looks like, and I personally dis-like watching good people suffer, almost as much as I dis-like watching "good" people disparage others over something that basically amounts to LOUDLY MIS-UNDERSTANDING THINGS.
right, everyone is a liar, because you lie. and if they don’t lie, they suck.
au contraire, I am merely a vaguely reasonable person who wastes time begging idiots like you to notice and acknowlege simple facts laid-out by studies throughout both of our lifespans and before. I happened to have learned about some of them before middle-school, and so I've been at this versus self-righteous cretins for a looong time.
How DARE I ask you to make life a little easier for everyone, starting with yourself?
this is exactly how all my exes told me too. everyone cheats! if you aren’t doing it, you’re a chump! and anyone who is better than me, is shitty.
notice how in this, you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong? funny how convenient that works out for you.
So wait, you mean EVERYONE who has been in a position to tell you anything about your own bullshit, over-the-top reactions to this topic has had the same response? Literally, everyone else is wrong, as you've put it - I'm not the one alone in my world-view here.
Look, if you can't look in the mirror, could you at least pick a narrative? I was bored with your incoherent gibberish days and days-ago. If self-honesty and intro-spection are such hateful topics to you, maybe don't interact with them, but calling people who are honest with you about the potential for dis-honesty out as pathological liars just makes you look stupid, ignorant, and even likely in-sincere.
If I lie, I've committed to doing the work to make it true(the optimist's conceit), at least enough to let the other person pretend they don't know better. When you lie, its because you can't even be bothered to notice or admit that's what's happened. No wonder you're alone.
I don't know how Jewish it is, but it is part of a general trend of how society treats marriage.
Generations back, marriage was considered the beginning, a cornerstone for building an adult life on. Now, it's shifted more towards a capstone, a thing that you can add to your life once you get your shit together. That has shifted expectations in dating, as well as expectations of how independent young adults need to be.
And it has pushed back expectations of what it means to be ready to have children. And once a higher percentage of parents have more money when they have kids, it also subtly shifts the expectations of parenting, as well:
"Having kids is too expensive" is just the straight-up truth for anyone who isn't uncommonly comfortable relying on charity and/or society.
What's wrong with relying on society? Having a good family and social circle is basically the most important part of being ready to have kids. My wife and I waited till we were rich before having kids, but we still heavily rely on our family, friends, and neighbors to enrich our children's lives, while also being there for them and their children: rotating babysitting duties if some parents want to go on a date or even go out of town, rotating dinner hosting so only one family has to cook and clean, getting the kids together so that they can play and socialize, etc. We can't do the parenting thing in isolation, but I don't think society expects us to.
Having a good family and social circle is basically the most important part of being ready to have kids
Well, bad news for you there, too: since we're all busy working and commuting and moving states for jobs and our third places are disappearing for various reasons, because our connections have moved globally online instead of locally offline, we are all further away from our families of origin and have smaller social circles to help support our physical lives.
because you shouldn't have to be rich af to have kids. or a house, or stable employment.
and yet, society is telling us that you will never have any of this, unless you were lucky enough to be born rich.
very few people will ever become rich.
i see this myself all the time. i date and i meet women who basically think you are a loser/undatable if you aren't millions in the bank, then whine people are 'lazy'. meanwhile they don't have millions in the bank, and are still having mommy and daddy pay their mortgage/rent in their frickin' 30s.
lady, i worked my ass off my entire life, why the hell would i ever want to date someone who is still dependent on their parents for basic adult costs?
Relying on society, when it works out, still usually leaves you with over-extended or strained relationships(especially with friends and family), and kids who will never understand just what was so important about their conceptions and births that couldn't have waited until you were a little more ready and not constantly stressed to the breaking point - kids who are absolutely right.
Ask me how I know. If I look at it from the stand-point of the heart-attack that seems due any day now, maybe there was some urgency, but without trying to shoe-horn kids into a lifestyle that wasn't ready for them and ultimately had to be abandoned in-favor of doing whatever it takes to keep them happy and healthy, external/internal consequences be damned, then my health outlook might not look so bleak.
All that, and have you seen divorce statistics? Jesus FUCK, have you SEEN divorce statistics? ... and it's somehow still okay to throw massive financial insecurity into the mix, the SINGLE GREATEST driver of divorce? Sure. Aim for the stars, kid. The world is your oyster and all that.
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I mean it's not just the women either, men could be in the picture as well
I think post 2007 our smartphones and computers with internet have unlocked near unlimited entertainment ( Welcome to the Internet - Bo Burnham )
In comparison to say 1964:
Brisbane (1964) | Life in Australia Series | 4K Restoration
https://youtu.be/KbukeJZftOs?t=467
Life looks infinitely more boring then, having kids seems like a natural time filler
Anyone saying they're not having kids because of climate change or anything like this is just making excuses for the fact they'd rather not be taking care of a kid when they could be doing something fun or entertaining
people dont' want to have kids because the kids are considered detriment to their own personal pursuits and money for themselves.
where i live... people dont' want kids because they want to travel and own nice things. and yet they will complain to you how unfulfilling and unhappy their lives are... and just chase the next nice thing or next travel destination that people have decided is trendy.
what kills me is people... want kids but they are under the delusion that it should come at no cost or change to lifestyle. that's not how anything works. every change you make has opportunity costs.
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could we maybe stop downvote bombing greentexts with takes we disagree with? 🙄
obviously the author has some toxic ass views but that doesn't mean it isn't an interesting/entertaining greentext to read
the only posts on this sublemmy that should get downvoted are irrelevant and/or boring greentexts
To champion the original and true purpose of the down vote has to be the most hopeless and nobel cause to pursue on the internet.
My eternal gratitude for your community service, you are a stronger person then I ever will be.
Next you're going to want us to stop downvoting unpopular opinions in the unpopular opinion community
If you don't want baffling, fucked up takes, then you don't want green texts, go to a microblogging community. I feel like the entire point of being here is to see the insanity without engaging with or or condoning it.
Am I so out of touch?
I've heard this place described as a zoo. We're just here to observe. Posts are not meant to endorse screeching, throwing poop, or whatever else anons might do.
On Reddit, it took very little time for the bigots to roll in and create a familiarly unpleasant atmosphere in /r/greentext. Downvotes are, perhaps, the lightest form of disagreement one could offer to a potential chink in lemmy’s armor against righties. The absence of chuds is a decent portion of why I love this place. If they find an “ironic” home here, as they did on reddit, it’d suck for me.
Okay this is a take I can understand and respect. That being said, how can we observe unhinged posts, acknowledge them as such, and have a laugh about them, while making it clear that they are unacceptable? This feels a difficult tightrope to walk, given the context
That’s the best part, exactly what we’ve been doing, no changes! Lemmy is so hostile to conservative ideologies and incapable of recognizing satire that it forms a decent barrier. Delightfully, we get to have our cake and eat it too! Accepting the downvotes as an aspect of our immunity, creating titles that point out OOP’s degeneracy, and banning every righty that pops out of the woodwork keeps us clean.
I know I can still act unhinged in this community, so it seems to be working out.
my sentiment precisely
It's the racism. You can be interested and entertained by it, but many people prefer not to condone it.
could we maybe stop downvote bombing greentexts with takes we disagree with? 🙄
Welcome to Lemmy 🤣
This is not just a place for posting dumb shit but a place for activism, no bad thinking allowed
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This is some chud speak I can't parse the meaning of
Maybe he married a latina rocket?
I also do love it when my imaginary wife cooks launch for me as well
"cooks me launch"
One of these days Anon [pulls out chancla]... Wam! Bam! Straight to the moon!
Fake and disgustingly straight
Remember kids racism is when a Mexican man loves his wife
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