this post was submitted on 27 May 2026
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Comic Strips

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[Jesus sits on a rock, speaking]
A new commandβ€―I give you:
Love one another

[an angry character talks back to Jesus]
What if they're something bad like gay, trans, brown, or communist though?

[Jesus is facepalming on his rock]
I don't want to be a messiah anymore

https://thebad.website/comic/gospel_of_love

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

What it they use AI or they Liked a phobic tweet?

but what if they voted for Trump?

.this comment is bait, if you got baited please tell me I'm a piece of shit or something

[–] Haaveilija@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago
[–] ztwhixsemhwldvka@lemmy.world 113 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Just a note, Jesus wasn't actually purple even though he is depicted here as such.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 hours ago

In the whole Bible there is no indication that he wasn't purple

[–] Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 7 hours ago

Shhhhh, the Republicans that lack object permanence will have their entire worldviews turned upsidedown! Winning!!

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 92 points 1 day ago (1 children)

actually, many scholars today believe jesus most likely was purple, as a result of the water in his body being transmuted into wine. this is why in modern catholic tradition, wine is used to represent the blood of christ.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (8 children)

Guy was a walking DUI, with a BAC of 100%.

[–] Bogus007@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 hours ago

You can try to say this in a crowd of the followers of the religion of peace about their prophet. Hope you can run fast and you have a place to hide.

[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

wouldn't the BAC be around 15% though? 100% would be for distilled stuff, and while an appalachian jesus sounds rad, i don't think he ever did water into moonshine.

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Can't do a blood test if there's no blood to begin with.

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

this is why the bible contains no mention of jesus driving a car or reciting the alphabet backwards

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[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 day ago

If his blood were wine it would have an abv of between 8-14 percent, although I believe wine was significantly diluted back then.

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[–] WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 44 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Then explain all the portraits! /s

Grimace from McDonalds dressed as Jesus.


Ecce Muppo. Unknown, 2026

[–] Bad@jlai.lu 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Of course, canon Jesus reply would be "but we're brown ourselves though?"

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[–] AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml 33 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] sureshot0@discuss.online 15 points 12 hours ago

I've read the Kama Sutra. There's a chapter in there telling you to karate chop your woman in the head. At the end of the chapter, it mentions that some women have died from said move. I don't think it's really the be all and end all of good sex. There's also a chapter on seducing your neighbor's child bride.

[–] yogurtwrong@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

As an ex-muslim i can confidently say quran does not tell us to love one another, it tells us to love our muslim brothers and rape, kill, torture everyone else.

I am just grateful most muslims are delusional people who have never read a single word of their book (in their native language) and live a life nowhere as close to that is depicted in the book. There is a reason why jihadism etc. is more popular in Arabic speaking countries, because they actually understand the thing they are reading.

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I'm sure muslims know how to translate it from arabic back to their native languages

[–] sureshot0@discuss.online 6 points 12 hours ago

And the Kama Sutra is incredibly sexually violent, if I'm remembering correctly.

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[–] Solumbran@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (31 children)

It's amazing that a sect leader that promoted peace and frugality unknowingly created one of the most violent and greedy religions.

[–] West_of_West@piefed.social 17 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yes it certainly morphs after Constantine makes it the state religion, rather than a cult.

I am reading a book on the Baltic Crusades and it was talking about the diametrically opposed ideas of state violence and a pacifist religion. Essentially, pacifism doesn't work as a state policy. The Christian church struggled to decide what violence the state should be able to commit.

Augustine, thought war could be justified in certain circumstances, one of which was if the following peace created more good than the evil if the war wasn't fought.

Nowadays, I don't think people even know that Christianity was/is a pacifist movement.

I mean, it should be obvious to Christians today that Jesus repeatedly and consistently made a clear distinction between the "kingdom of heaven" and secular nations. Separation of church and state was absolutely one of the premises the early church worked off of as a teaching of Jesus himself. The idea of a "Christian Nation" is indeed antithetical to the very foundations of Christianity. The early history of Christianity is pretty lost on people today and people are quite unaware of just how drastic the changes in Christianity were in the early 300s, and how gigantic of a deal it was for the Roman state to adopt Christianity at the time.

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 1 points 17 hours ago

Augustine, thought war could be justified in certain circumstances, one of which was if the following peace created more good than the evil if the war wasn’t fought.

And don't forget Aquinas, who literally sandwiched his one chapter on war between the chapters detailing mercy. If I remember the professors correctly, that was no mistake, and was very, very thematically intentional. Christians are downright fucked in the head as they try to cognitive dissonance their way into reconciling our species' lust for war with high minded ideals of love and kindness.

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[–] bss03@infosec.pub 19 points 1 day ago (11 children)

Contrariwise, you are also commanded to love racists, homophobes, transphobes, and authoritarians. You can certainly try to convince them away from those stances, but you are still supposed to be kind, even generous, to the persons.

Unconditional love can be heartbeatingly hard.

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

I can assure more than half of them are redeemable.

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

β€œDID I FUCKING STUTTER?”

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