A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
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Autistic people I’ve come into contact with have been some of the smartest people I’ve ever met. Sometime weird or socially awkward but generally really smart.
But I like weird. You don’t remember the normal people.
Every word that was used to refer to someone with some form of mental difference has been turned into an insult. At a certain point you need to just get over it.
Dumb, idiot, imbecile, slow, retard, etc were all originally used to refer to people with legitimate mental health issues and have been turned into insults and are now considered rude to say.
It doesn't matter what word you come up with to try to "fix" this is going to happen.
At least in the states, this is part of the labeling process. There is an ongoing effort, promoted by the current Secretary of Health, to dehumanize autistic people. Remember, he does advocate sending us to work camps.
In my experience, autistic has been increasingly used as a soft replacement for retarded or developmentally disabled. Its just ignorant people or assholes trying to find a word that hasn't hit the no-no list yet.
If its at work in front of people, I make them repeat it by saying, "sorry what was that?" Often that makes people uncomfortable enough to not do it again, at least in front of people.
Can I be your bodyguard? You can be my long lost pal.
I wonder what passes by on these people's minds. I often see my classmates call each other autistic and it is NOT funny.
I have a close friend with schizophrenia, and jokes about "hearing voices" and similar are pretty common among young people in Germany.
I believe that such jokes only harm the understanding of what is actually being joked about, have no value, and may hurt those who are affected by these things.
Yeah, not great. I think if you understand the difference between what is a disparaging kind of 'joke' and something thats actually humorous, then you can just judge this.
"Fucking cringe." And just walk away. Don't accept any 'explanation' of why it's funny. Let them become upset by your reaction, if necessary. "Nah, we're not going to be making fun of disabled people. You're on your own."
I'm annoyed by it. Not necessarily because I think it's offensive, but because I think it normalizes not taking the neurological condition seriously.
It's the kind of thing that dead ends people's thoughts on the subject.
It's one thing when someone with Autism says they "have the 'tism". Its something else entirely when someone who doesn't have autism says it or jokes about it that way. I feel the same way about how people will say "everyone is a little OCD". No. That is not true. Not everyone has a compulsion they can't control that forces them to wash their hands until they bleed. Nobody cares if you like your desk tidy, Deborah.
I try to remind myself that people don't know but it's hard to call it out all the time. I'm not always in the head space to deal with people or their propensity to get defensive and mean.
I think it's one of those cases where the actual definition and the cultural definition deviate, and I accept that people are kinda just being a bit funny.
If people are using it to be degrading or berating, I will call it out (or just not interact with those people anymore) but I usually think it's meant to be a bit self-critical, funny and endearing. I don't really mind in that case, because it's not said in offense, and I appreciate people making fun of themselves every once in a while.
I've only had something like that happen once, and I suggested that I had some good resources from my wife and kid, and I could hook him up. He kind of awkwardly laughed it off and said he was good.
I still don't know if he was trying to be use it as a punchline, or trying to share his condition. I certainly don't want to push people away from sharing their struggles if they are using humor to deal with a hard topic. But yeah, using it as a punch line is pretty insensitive. I've said I was being OCD as a joke about being particular about a project, and I totally could have hurt someone's feelings who actually struggles with a real condition, and that kind of sucks.
Yeah I used to say stuff like that too when I was young and didn't know any better but I avoid jokes that refer to conditions in that sort of way now
Moron, Retard, Imbecile, Idiot, Gimp. These were all and are medical terms. Unfortunately it seems to be human nature to use terms of disability for slurs. Is it right for people to do this? No. But it's a good judge of character if someone uses these terms as slurs or not.
Dumb used to mean someone who is both deaf and mute.
I think it was just mute, as someone who was both was considered deaf and dumb.
It doesn't bother me, but I am very rarely offended by words and don't participate in all of the drama over proper terminology.
I am always uncomfortable and take responsibility for that discomfort... in my opinion focusing on self-control is usually preferable to trying to control anyone else.
(I have a different diagnosis, but the treatment for me is the same regardless)
It does not bother me but I also don't really like or use the label. Maybe because of this phenomenon or because of the general lack of education I find that when I tell someone I'm autistic I get very poor support versus just explaining what I struggle with (eye contact, physical touch, taking things literally). I work in a field where being disagreeable and taking things literally are helpfull so that probably also helps.
We told people not to use "retarded" and "schizo" as insults, so now they use "autistic" and "narcissistic". They didn't become better people, they just got pressured into changing their behaviour.
Maybe one day we'll pressure them out of all the slurs.
How is narcissist a slur?
It comes from a mental disorder, narcissistic personality disorder. A lot of people don't know that. Some people think it comes directly from the Greek child who was killed by the gods for not wanting to get married, but that's a false etymology. It passed through psychiatry in between those points, and you can tell from the way it's spelled.
No, it comes from Narcisuss. The word predates NPD by almost a hundred years.
But even if it did come from NPD, it still an objectively negative trait worthy of admonishment. It's not a slur to describe someone's persistent selfishness as narcissistic. It's the definition of the word.
[Edit] it's as much as a slur as using "psychopath" to describe someone who kills squirrels for fun
As that Wikipedia link points out, the version of the word based primarily on the Greek child who didn't want sex is "Narcismus". The -ist suffix is distinctly un-Greek, and comes much later than Lord Byron.
It's interesting that you point out the word "ps*chopath", which is Greek for "suffering soul" and is often used to attack people with ASPD. I can understand why people in the 1800s would hate those whose souls suffer, and those who are like Narcissus. But surely in 2026, you've grown out of such queerphobia and ableism?
"Narcissist" to describe selfishness is from the 1800s. NPD is from the 1980s.
Surely in 2026, you've seen what narcissism had done to the world.
No, I will continue calling our narcissistic and psychopathic behavior for what it is. I will also not be showing any empathy for who, by definition, don't show any themselves.
Not all mental illnesses deserve our collective support. Comparing it to LGBT people is insane (is insane a slur, too?) and insulting. The closest comparison - and I think this is a stretch - is addiction.
It's just wild to me that you're defending narcissism in any capacity.
Narcissus of Greek mythology is literally queer, I'm not comparing anything. Nemesis made him fall in love with his reflection because he didn't want to marry or have sex.
Ameinias was sexually harassing a 16 year old, and that child told him to go commit die, as teenagers often do when they're harassed by a bully. Ameinias decides to actually do it, and prays to Nemesis for revenge. He says "Though he should love, let him not have what he loves", so Nemesis made him fall in love with his reflection. It was a divine punishment for not wanting any fucc.
I think you're aphobic because you read this myth, and decided to side against the queer kid who was harassed and killed.
You are conflating so many things right now. For someone who keeps harping on the original myths, you sure seem ignorant to the fact that pretty much everyone in Greek mythology is bi. Siding against anyone in any Greek myth usually means you're "against" someone queer.
You are stretching SO hard to call me queerphobic while ignoring both the classical and modern definitions of the word. It's akin to saying I hate vegans because I talk shit about Hitler.
Narcissists and psychopaths are not oppressed minorities. Insulting them is always punching up.
Do you have a horse in this race or something?
It's not that he's ace and you happen not to like him. It's that it seems like you specifically don't like him because he's ace. At best, you're victim blaming him for having been killed.
Victim blaming? This sounds like an early 2010s Tumblr caricature as depicted by an alt-right influencer that 99.99% of the left would call an invented strawman. It is beyond parody.
I'm having such a hard time believing anyone would defend narcissists that I'm convinced you're just trolling me or you're a narcissist yourself.
People have been making fun of that dead boy for two thousand years and I'm sick of it. He didn't do anything wrong, he just lived in an aphobic society. I'm asexual and I'm sick to FUCK of seeing people like you walking around with an ancient Greek person's moral compass when it comes to asexuality. He didn't abuse anyone, he just wanted to be single. Why do so many people over two thousand years hate a child for wanting to be single?
Is it a pedophilia thing? Are you defending Ameinias' point of view because you're a pedophile too?
No one's dunking on the fictional asexual child, bud. Plus People aren't thinking about Greek mythology when they use the word.
Nice deflection at the end there, though.
You're right, it's not about Greek mythology for most people. I accepted that you were an exception, because earlier in this conversation you claimed it comes straight from Narcissus. But I'm glad I changed your mind, and persuaded you that people aren't thinking about Greek mythology when they use the word. They're thinking about ableist portrayals of people with NPD.
They're thinking about neither, dude. No one gives a shit where the word comes from
The etymology informs the meaning. And the etymology is that a bunch of self-help books trained most people, including you, to be deathly afraid of a neurodivergent minority named after a queer child. Your entire understanding of NPD comes from pop culture ghost stories that you believed with all the gullibility of an easy mark.
If this were the 1980s you'd have just as easily been swindled into fear of the terrifying Satanists, and if this were the 1930s, you'd be falling for Hitler's rhetoric about "the Jews". "Oh, it's okay to call them heebs. It's punching up, since they control all the banks." You've been tricked into thinking a vulnerable minority controls society.
No one gives a shit about the sexual orientation of a character from Greek mythology except you. Sounds like you based your entire opinion on a tumblr post titled "uhm actually, Narcissus was queer"
You're trying so hard to be the victim here and it's just not working. Because nobody is even thinking about the sexuality of, again, the FAKE PERSON whose sexuality is NEVER DEFINED from GREEK MYTHOLOGY.
You want him to be asexual so you can feel oppressed. Absolutely insane behavior. To quote the Germans: hobbyless behavior.
Lots of people gave a shit about his sexuality. Because according to the myths, everyone wanted to get in his pants, and Ameinias committed suicide after being rejected by him. Nemesis decided to make him fall in love with his reflection and die because he wouldn't date. And even Lord Byron, 2000 years ago, was talking about his sexual preferences. His asexuality is the central part of the myth. Nemesis cursed him to go from asexual to autosexual.
Wow well if Lord Byron thought something...
Just because you're obsessed with this doesn't mean everyone is.
Doesn't matter who he was before or why he was cursed. Narcissism refers to what happened to Narcisuss. End of story.
Okay, I'm going to believe you, for the sake of argument. I'm going to believe Narcissism is what happened to Narcissus.
When Narcissus was cursed, he died. He was too overcome by his emotions to survive. He couldn't function at any level. He couldn't drink water that was right in front of him. And it happened because of an intolerant and abusive society.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the same. It's emotionally disturbing, it's disabling. It can cause executive dysfunction and even suicide. And studies have shown it's heavily associated with "adverse childhood experiences" - having been abused as a child. Like what happened to Narcissus.
In a slightly allegorical but largely literal sense, I agree with you; Narcissism refers to what happened to Narcisuss. And you should treat people with NPD the same way you'd treat that abused child from the old story: With compassion, any sensible person would hope.
Well, I just call that concentration camp fetish. And most people see minorities exactly that way.
I think it is plain stupid.
Autism is a condition, still very much under study, but already well understood enough to teach people what does in fact imply to be autistic.
Other words that started as medical terms - imbecile, idiot, retard, etc - were readily abused and turned into insults because, as I understand it, there was not the same degree of understanding and popularization of the subjects towards the open society in order to avoid basterdizing the scientific knowledge.
What you describe, plainly put, is dehumanizing.
My brother used to use it frequently, and after I was finally diagnosed I asked him to stop.
It simply shows how stupid the people are that use those words this way.