this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2026
849 points (99.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

40798 readers
6438 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 162 points 1 month ago

Someone will post this to LinkedIn without a hint of irony.

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 130 points 1 month ago (4 children)

ok but where does sucking the homie off play in all of this

[–] Astronut@lemmy.zip 93 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is a blowjob really a job if you’re enjoying it?

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 74 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It’s a blowhobby, perhaps even a blowcalling.

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 15 points 1 month ago
[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

You've gotta get your foot in the door with a blowinternship

[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 37 points 1 month ago

That's just a brojob, that's standard operating procedure.

Context

[–] X@piefed.world 7 points 1 month ago

the only thing really stopping you two is you two

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Asking the real questions.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 87 points 1 month ago (4 children)

What part of this is passive?

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 56 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you're having fun at your job, you'll never work a day in your life.

load more comments (2 replies)

It puts the ass in passive

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

It’s passive for the bottom

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

In the community we refer to it as "bottom"

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 55 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What’s your job? I kiss my homies

In a world with AI grindsets, influencer slopfests, and governmental grifting, we need more respectable professions like this.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago

It is if you're a lazy bottom.

[–] zaph@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago

It is if you were already going to go bar hopping with your makeout bro

[–] guy@piefed.social 46 points 1 month ago

Hello kids! Today we're learning about prostitution

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Strike up a conversation with a group of women

Alright, I'm out.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] kevinsky@feddit.nl 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

The amount of people that evidently don't know what the "passive" in passive income is supposed to stand for is wild.

If you have do do something for it, it's not passive, it's just a job.

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

Active income, as it were.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca 29 points 1 month ago (4 children)

So in one night, lets call it 8 hours from 6:00 - 2:00, you're out there approaching women, starting a conversation, leading that conversation naturally to kissing men, negotiating for $100, kissing your homie, then traveling to the next bar... every 24 minutes.

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Once you have practiced this a bit, you might be able to complete the routine in ten minutes. You might be able to get more than 100$ at times, especially from larger groups. Selecting an area with lots of bars visited by hen parties is probably key for this.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 12 points 1 month ago

Once you have practiced this a bit, you might be able to complete the routine in ten minutes.

10 minutes? More like one minute: "Hithereladies, howsyournightgoing? Kissingmenhuhwhatsthatallabout, I'dneverdoitespeciallynotwiththisguyhereyoucouldn'tpaymeto. Notforlessthat$100. brief tongue gargling Giveusmycashyoudummies. Seeyoubye!"

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well this dystopia economy when you have go around making out with your male friend to make extra money.

What happens if you do it and they don't pay? Also call BS in this economy people can pony up 100 bucks for this?

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If they can afford drinks in an uptown bar, they can scrounge up $100 between them. It's called wealth redistribution.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Assuming this kind of wager is more likely in a nightclub with drunk people (that brought party money) then a regular bar.

Some have entree fees, and the oned that do have more chance to find richer drunk people.

Gotta pay expensive drinks for you and homie to not stand out and appear massively sus, what you're doing is relatively mild but people can’t tell your not planning worse, so act normal, casual.

May take a while to find a good target, depending on the crowd size you only have one shot to smooth talk your way into it.

In the meantime your spending time, possibly gas finding new locations. Local employees will equally catch on also if you do it too often the same spot.

In the end gotta split the profits with your partner

Might be above minimum wage but far from big money. The only reason to get big money is dumb luck where your victim is an actual rich person that does not care.

Rope the bars in. Gas isn't something that should be happening drinking.

[–] uberdroog@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I told my boss I needed a raise. He said everyone needs a hustle. I told him my hustle is wage work. He advised some people will just sacrifice more. I said my time with my family was more important.

[–] kevinsky@feddit.nl 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

People that say you need a "huscle" "be a founder" or any other of that instagram entrepeneur type crap need to remember capitalism only works if a large part of the population is happy just doing some quasi menial job that pays just enough to have a somewhat interesting life.

If everybody is rich, nobody is rich.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You forgot to add the part where you kissed your boss on the mouth to get a raise.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Ah yes, the old selling yourself for more riches and even more dignity. Go money! /s Now let's talk basic universal income. That one is a no-brainer that would solve a lot of social ills.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

$50, then? What if I do one for free just to show you it's worth it?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I wonder what Andrew Taint would have to say about this.

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Bruh it's totally not homo if it's for the Grind™, these stupid femoids just think we're both so hot and want to fuck us anyway"

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bro can I send you $200 for an online course on how to be as based as you? This shit belongs in a podcast.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] therealamack@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can someone explain how dressing in basketball shorts and jersey factors in?

[–] draco_aeneus@mander.xyz 28 points 1 month ago

Stereotypical "straight guy" clothes.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Average American cishet men dress like twelve year olds when they go out

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Prove_your_argument@piefed.social 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

By this logic everyone should be a prostitute on top of whatever their hustle is. Just saying.

[–] ironycanal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

Yes. Obviously. Fucking pinko, are you not?

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago

If homie doesn't want any of that money, you might have a boyfriend.

[–] sangeteria@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Use sign language

load more comments
view more: next ›