This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
But does she think her parents are nut jobs, it would be a rare family whose child completely agrees with the views of the parent especially when the views of the parent are so, er, disconnected from reality.
My parents are religious nuts, doesn't mean I am.
plenty of people think their parents are nut jobs, and plenty of them don't and think their parents are flawless gods.
IME that correlates highly with basically how adult/independent you are from your folks. some folks never leave the nest their entire lives, at least emotionally and often financially. blows my mind how many 30/40 something ladies I meet... who are still 'daddy's little girl'. I'm sure there are plenty of dudes like that too.
my folks basically cut me off after college, but also I thought they were nut jobs when I was like 5 years old, because they are. they had all sorts of weird, delusional, and stupid beliefs, and had nothing to do with religion... they were just average americans.
Religious people are all nuts, just the degree varies a little bit.
Everyone is nuts. Religious people just far more uniformly
Honestly this is it. It's why it's so stabilizing especially to a medium sized community (too small you get cults, too big you get institutionalization). Everybody agreeing to be weird in a specific way at a specific time at regular intervals has a lot of benefits, literal health benefits even. You definitely get some real fucked up outlier behavior but religion doesn't have widespread staying power throughout generations for no reason.
Pretty much. People attempting to drive others to atheism when they should be driving people to be less dickish is the most common goof I’ve found. Some people need an ethos and religion helps.
The problem with conglomerating your craziness is that whatever it conglomerates around becomes socially and politically powerful, and whatever ethos it offers tends to be deeply flawed. For jumped up apes trying to function at a higher level, self reflection and the capacity to question your delusions are essential skills, but these are anathema to religion. The belief system must protect and promote itself. So instead you end up supporting a bunch of pedophiles who want to fuck up the entire world, and getting all giddy about the mess you're making because you just can't wait for Jebus to come back and fix everything. So while I'm not really disputing the social and mental health benefits of religion at an individual scale, we're currently experiencing the worldwide political and environmental consequences of large scale, organized, delusional thinking, and it isn't pretty. At least if we could all agree that when you join a religion you give up your right to vote, it wouldn't be so bad.
It seems more like an issue with systems of power without proper maintenance cycles, rather than an issue of lined up delusions. The monarchy functioned reasonably well up until it didn’t, democracy functions reasonably well up until it doesn’t, central planning functions reasonably well until it doesn't, etc..
Without giving systems of power a proper scrub, they fester, always. Almost exclusively because of gradual entrenchment of third party interests, which is the natural state of sociopolitical systems, unfortunately.
She ain't a red flag she a whole chinese military parade.
Fake: Anon has gf Gay: Convoluted break-up fantasy to explain why he can't get with girls integrates his actual religious trauma from his own homophobic fundy household growing up
"I really like you, but you and your family are religiously insane so I think we should see other people. I'm gonna try to see someone with a grip on reality, and you should try to see a professional"
There's only one way: Anon should simulate fainting like the mom and then explain that god told them they have to break up.
Nothing pisses religious nutjobs more than telling them that God spoke to you and said you were holier than they are.
"You guys need a priest to tell you what God wants? Why, he doesn't check in with you personally? What did you do to piss him off?"
Speak it in Latin and claim you don't know what Latin even is. Then use Google Translate like some time later and tell her.
If she ask any questions just say the usual, "God works in mysterious ways", "maybe this is a test from God like in the book of Job", or "are you questioning my faith or yours?"
When Anon breaks up with her they will claim he was a demon sent to test their faith.
Any adult who believes in Magick, God, angels, or demons has growing up to do.
I didn't believe in demons until 2016 and one was elected to be president of the US.
Unfortunately we don't need demons, humans are bad enough as is.
"Listen, your mon had a heatstroke. This isn't a demonic attack. It's common knowledge that this happens when doing hard work in extreme heat. I can't be with someone who's family believes that demons are behind common medical conditions. In other words: your family is insane and I can't date you anymore. Bye"
Fake/gay analysis: true and straight. Source: dated religious girl who's mother was a religious lunatic. Super fucking likely to happen
I was once invited to a pool party by a girl back when I was a freshman at college. When I got there they were baptizing people.
There was free food though so I stuck around.
Freshmen year of college is all about maximizing the amount of free stuff you can get, especially food.
Everyone is going with the satanism or whatever non-Christian antics they are coming up with.
That's too easy.
Study some Bible verses and understand the tenents of the religion. Learn enough about the family to find something you can use. Then break up with her by saying her family are heretics and state that reason. Tell her they're all going to hell and close the door tight. Never talk to her again.
As someone who grew up in a conservative, Baptist home, I can tell you that this 100% isn't the most insane thing I've heard or seen, but it falls right in line.
Insane how grown ass adults believe in absolute fairy tales written by the rich/kings to keep the lower classes subservient. In 2026.
I'd love to ask someone in the 1940s what they'd think of 2026. I bet they'd think we were all living on other planets and half cyborg by now. But nah. Trillionaires.
This is not unusual in my opinion. In my childhood, I attended Catholic, Baptist, and Assembly of God churches, and this would not have raised any eyebrows. Especially with Assembly of God.
If the people only knew what they are supporting with their tax dollars (in USA, churches pay no taxes)! It's obscene and frankly ridiculous. The farther you go in the church, the crazier things are.
And make no mistake, they will kill you. The best part of adulthood for me was getting out of the church, as a kid I was horrified every day with these absolute lunatics.
I'd probably talk to the girl and see if she holds the same beliefs. She's Christian, yes, but there are plenty of people raised in such families that use the term out of familiarity, but don't share the extreme views of their parents.
Though with that said, even if the girl isn't off the deep end, I'd understand that having her parents as potential in-laws could be a bridge too far.
Oddly, the two super churchy women I've "been with" ended up leaving the church afterwards. Maybe OP should do a little 🫰🤌🤏 to her 🍑 and see what happens.
I remember playing this 3 day LARP, the kind with pre-written in-depth characters and story that is played over 3 days strait in characeter, in Wierd Wild West setting, where I played a Trapper that was about to marry someone from the local village, my family was married into but my parents died shortly after.
It eventually turned out that the whole village is a cult that eats people to keep some kind of evil imprisoned, and my fiance's family is the one spiritually leading it, and I still can't forget the nights spent trying to reasonably argue and discuss with my fiance that it's definitely not ok and we should just leave.
I obviously never had to have discussions like this in real life, but it was pretty interesting how extremely futile it is. They have so many arguments you can't say anything against. Once they start with "But this is our purpose given to us by God, if we don't do this the whole world will end", or "It was God's will, you will understand soon", you really don't have much to say to that to get through.
Of course, it was just a LARP and she played her character well, but now I can pretty vividly imagine that talking to someone who's so much into anything like that is extremely difficult, to the point of being futile.
(I managed to convince her to leave, the winning argument was "Your grandmother tried to poison me, here is proof", lol).
My master, Satan, says we should have premarital sex immediately
It's a win either way
Claming demonic attacks without the popes approval? Well that's sounds like a reason for a excommunication...
They're probably not Catholic. This is peak American evangelical crazy right here.