this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 19 hours ago

I've noticed anger makes me go faster when I'm walking or on the exercise bike

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 116 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Yeah. We're unhappy because your slow ass won't get out of the way! XD

[–] UnCollaredCarrot@piefed.zip 91 points 4 days ago (6 children)
[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 19 hours ago

When I notice the person behind me catching up, I move to the side so they can pass

[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago

wow, this dude is everywhere!

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[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 days ago

Yeah I'm unhappy about all these slow mother fuckers that are always in my way.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 70 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

(but also: What if you were moving toward a light source? Wouldn't that mean you get to see faster? 🤔)

[–] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The light you see would be blue shifted because of the speed you're going and become gamma rays for you. Radio waves would shift to visible light. So you would see radio.

If you would move that fast on the ground, you'd slam into air molecules at light speed, causing a huge shockwave like a continuous Hiroshima nuke going of. That would make you sad.

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[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Any moth expert wanna comment on that now that it's moth month?

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 49 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Do these fine gentlemen look unhappy to you?

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My god! Look at their form.

[–] HeHoXa@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

He's cheating! Look! There's a hop, see?! There's another one!

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

You're not a race walker at all, you're nothing but a common jogger.

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 37 points 4 days ago
[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Analyses for specific causes of death showed that participants with low walking speed had about a threefold increased risk of cardiovascular death.

https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.b4460

[–] Gormadt@slrpnk.net 8 points 4 days ago

If I walk fast enough I can outrun death

[–] craftrabbit@lemmy.zip 28 points 4 days ago (5 children)

--rant start--

I hate it I hate it such a shitty implication. This headline implies that walking fast makes you sad, but I'm willing to bet a lot that the study didn't actually find such a causal connection.

My guess is that the causal link is stress here. Stressed people walk faster and are also sad.

So make the headline say "scientists say stressed people walk fast" or something because someone will try walking slowly in hopes of that bringing happiness

--rant end--

[–] bryophile@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I agree with your rant, this kind of title is annoying.

I do however also think that doing slow mindful walks will help against stress, so the implication that slow walking brings happiness is not a bad implication. Stressed out fast walking people really should try it. There's no reason to be in a hurry all of the time.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

But the headline doesn't imply a causal connection, it's your own bias that does

I read it and immediately assumed it's because stressed people walk faster

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[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago

"People in a hurry are experiencing stress."

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

Idk I walk pretty fast and I’m pretty happy, aside from my crippling depression.

[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago

True. Walking fast makes me very unhappy with all the slow walkers

[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Hmmm actually ☝️🤓
Sonic don't walk fast, he runs fast.

Because he's addicted to ~cocaine~

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

He’s not addicted. He can quit anytime he wants. He just really loves doing it.

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[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It used to be that when my girlfriend and I were walking, she would always be rushing me by walking much faster. After starting my current job, I've become the fast walker, always having to slow down for her.

Uhhh I'm not sure I like the implication of this is

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

You know...

[–] FuyuhikoDate@feddit.org 17 points 4 days ago (3 children)

The problem with being faster than light is that you only see darkness...

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[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 8 points 4 days ago (7 children)

Some of y'all have never watched a 200kg / 440lb southern woman walk. She is not happy. And I'm not happy to be walking behind her.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 3 points 3 days ago

Just travel with climbing gear.

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[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] workerONE@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Maybe cognitive decline makes you more happy

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[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

Depending on how slow the people in front of me are, I'm also more homicidal! At least Sonic has a lethal spin dash for such occasions.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago

Now I know why I walk fast

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

But in sonic world, happy people run fast, sad people skate.

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[–] 4grams@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Tracks, I walk so fast it makes people upset with me. I just hate wasting time, why not get where you are going quickly. I’m also deeply unhappy.

[–] QualifiedKitten@discuss.online 9 points 4 days ago (2 children)

So, you're telling me that if I just walk slower, I'll be happier?

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[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

said… people content to be slow? Or… might these be… most kindly… and not shaming anyone… lazy assed bitches?

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 8 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Honestly I’ve been very conscious of this lately as a fast walker and it turns out even when I’m in the best mood it’s just fucking painful to walk slow. I feel the same way driving slow in a car with a turbo — the car wants to move fast.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago

Lemmy only accepts bespoke, artisanal, hand-crafted shitposts.

[–] LoonyLenny@lemdro.id 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Gotta go pee!

[–] Lanske@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

This must be. I always walk fast or even run and im sad as fuck

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