this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 167 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anon suffers a hormone dysfunction, blames it on masturbation like a good christian boy.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 45 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Doesn't necessarily mean he's Christian. Some people are legitimately misinformed. There is a lot of myths regarding sex and masturbation that we really don't do much to challenge.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Indeed; however, it is likely because of christianity that these myths aren't challenged and also likely what caused this greentext... if it's not fake and/or gay.

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[–] Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one 135 points 1 month ago (1 children)

POV: Pseudoscience 4channer tries to make a suprius connection between edging and erectile disfunction.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 68 points 1 month ago

Nofap propaganda mastermind strikes again

[–] PriorityMotif@lemmy.world 98 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Some religious nutter trying to spread misinformation.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

For real. Nothing in the real world works like he's portraying it.

I could see someone having a dwindling libido for unrelated reasons and confabulating a false narrative like this one to explain it. (Though even if he truly believes what he's saying, it's likely due to exposure to #nofap nuts.)

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Oh yeah, I was originally thinking homeboy just developed ED but propaganda is just as likely .

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 83 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Mid 30s and still going strong 💪 i can edge for hours. Recently i visited family for a week and didnt fap the whole time, when I finally got home fapped for 5 hours and cummed 7 times.

Sounds like a skill issue tbh. I think in my late teens and early 20s I spent more waking hours with dick in hand than not.

[–] Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app 66 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nah the green text is just total bullshit. That is not how any of that works, medically speaking. Sure you can create psychological issues, and sperm volume can go down temporarily from extreme, eh, flow, but that's as close to real as the post gets.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For real, the post feels like one of those christian anti-porn campaigns.

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

A real telltale sign of the far-bible-team is the part where he does everything else except see a doctor.

this reads like greentext

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I hope you used both arms bro.

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[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Porn addict develops ED as he ages and thinks he broke his penis.

[–] foodandart@lemmy.zip 14 points 1 month ago

High blood pressure will do the stiff dick in every time. All the time.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Semen is stored in the prostate, not the balls just fyi.

Do I think this person got so good at jerking it that he burned out his sexual functioning, or do I think this guy just aged out of puberty and his bad diet and lifestyle crashed his testosterone?

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I've always had a bad diet. In my late teens I was physically active and had a super high libido, which till I got my first girlfriend meant jerking it and when I got my first girlfriend, we did it up to 5 times a day (though usually less). Mid 20s I was single most of the time and, you guessed it, took care of my own needs. Late 20s, in a relationship, my libido had decreased considerably, I did think maybe it was all the masturbation, but looking back, there was a lot of stress and my weight was the highest it has ever been.

Now I'm in my 30s, dumped my ex-wife, have lost some of the weight, am more physically active again and it's summertime. Had some kinda thing last winter that didn't turn into a real relationship, went 3 times a day with her when she stayed at my place and still wanted more. Now it's summer, I'm more active physically and I'm even hornier.

Excessive masturbation has had precisely zero long-term effect on me. Short term? Absolutely. But long term, the thing that has affected me the most has been physical activity, body weight, stress level, and surprisingly enough, the seasons. Lots of difference between wintertime here with 6 hour days and mostly overcast skies, everything is muddy, etc... vs middle of June, there's basically no darkness, sun sets at 10 PM and rises at 3 AM, but it doesn't even get dark between sunset and sunrise... There's just so much excess energy. August is even warmer than June, but at least we have nights now.

[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sounds like age. Bad diet, heavy drug/alcohol use, and age pretty much guarantees ED. Can be fixed by cleaning your life up and/or medication.

[–] hildegarde@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I can still get erections despite having T levels that are too low to measure with a normal blood test. Skill issue.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 29 points 1 month ago

If you broke it, anon, it was from improper operation; not regular usage.

[–] FavouriteShapes@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I want to know EXACTLY how much masturbation makes one's "penis not work" but i suspect it differs from person to person.

Perhaps the first monks were people who wanked once and then went "oh no.... Oh no no no"

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago (6 children)

It doesn’t. Bro has ED and wants to blame it on porn and masterbation.

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[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Was probably just death grip sydroming himself to the point of nothing being a strong enough sensation to feel.

If you literally beat your meat with an iron Kung Fu grip then no orifice on another person's body is ever going to be tight enough to give you normal pleasure and you will feel broken and blame the other. Retraining is possible but stop now if you use a strong grip and use softer methods of masturbation.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Yes, death grip is real, and it sucks for the partner in your life, too. I've been with guys who'd death-gripped themselves out of enjoying the sensation of another's body, and lemme tell you, having him go on for ages isn't as fun as it sounds. As the partner, you start to feel like you're not good enough, because nothing you do seems to get him off. Sex becomes less fun and more of a chore, to the point that you start to wonder why you're bothering at all. You both know he'd get more pleasure from masturbating, so why even be involved?

I've had exes who tried to cut back on masturbation, take days off, and that's just to bring back libido. But there is no quick solution, it takes time and careful self-monitoring to resensitize. I hope more people become aware of this phenomenon, take caution, and use lube when masturbating - because giving yourself intimacy problems before the age of 30 isn't fun for anyone.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 7 points 1 month ago

Death grip should be enough of a reason for dudes to normalize sex toys. Sure you can develop plenty of other unhealthy habits with sex toys, and you can have a perfectly healthy approach without sex toys, but sex toys make it a lot easier to continue to have normal sexual habits once you are sexually active with a partner again

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

can confirm, you got to either go cold turkey or switch to basic toy like tenga spinner

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Somebody needs to go to a urologist…

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[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Read "The Multiorgasmic Man". Edging does not break your dick.

[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Pardon my ignorance but what the fuck is "edging?"

[–] Bixcut@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Not letting yourself cum while you masturbate. For long times.

[–] sidebro@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You keep yourself on the edge,slowing down when you get close etc to prolong the masturbation before orgasm

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[–] spacegoat@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Skill issue

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 15 points 1 month ago (5 children)

zero libido now. No interest in women or sex.

How do I achieve this?

[–] FalschgeldFurkan@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

With SSRIs

(Honestly though, don't take them if you don't need them)

[–] Pollo_Jack@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

I know those posts are stupid and wrong but I can't help and worry about how I lost much of the relief from masturbation over the years. Haven't been with a girl for years and that really worries me

[–] pomfegranate@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

I think that might be a brain tumor or something

[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sounds like y’all been cranking dat hog a lil too hard brotha! Give that shit a few days rest. Can I get a hell ya brotha?!?

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Okay, I'm asking it, what the fuck is edging? (i don't want to see weidrs results)

[–] Kushan@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Keeping yourself on the edge of climax for extended periods of time, to enhance the eventual climax.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 10 points 1 month ago

Maybe he's gay.

Fake and gay.

Or religious, which is the same.

[–] Hueristic_Autistic@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Just stop jerkin' it for a while and take maca with a multi vitamin for about two months.

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