Besetzt
this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
632 points (98.5% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
41716 readers
2994 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
I say βoccupado!β And Iβm not even Spanish
"Estoy Poopin!"
Works better to tell them you're embarrassed, or "embarazado" en espaΓ±ol π
"welcome! please have a sit"
"IT'S NOT FOR SALE"
I always say "come in" - no one has ever tried to come in. π
No room at the Inn, Mary
"It's the REINFORCEMENTS! HUZZAH!"
I usually shout "one minute", "just a moment" or "in here". For some reason people like to try the door again when i say "one minute", though.
"Who's there?"
"No solicitors"
"I'm full"
No solicitorsβ
Lawyer turns red and openly shits themselves
"Come back with a warrant!"
Occupied.
Sorry babe Iβm flying solo today
Fuq orf am shiten
"I am the gatekeeper! Are you the keymaster?"
Will you help me hide a body?
I would like to share this timeless classic
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
Wow. Bryan sounds like a shit head. Good for him to keep stereotypes alive.
Just lads being lads, what a ledge π€
(The Lads on Tour movement needs to end fast)
Occupied
"Come on in, I kept the seat warm for you"
"Our cheeks have shared the same seat. We are butt brothers."
βCome in!β
Followed by an earth-shattering shart
"Nein! Ich habe farfrompoopen!"
farfrompoopen
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=farfrompoopen
A situation in which nature calls for you to visit the bathroom, yet you cannot perform the act of defecation.
"What's the password?"
"If my ass you wish to see, answer this riddle to me"
"I've got the stuff, do you have the money?"
load more comments
(1 replies)
"There's no door on this side, go around!"
"Cover charge is $10"
"Just a sec, I'm doing the paperwork!"
Occupado homey
view more: next βΊ