In a functioning society, these things would have been recalled a dozen times by now. But the owner of the company is frenemies with the fucking president so we just have to live with fire bomb hazards driving on our streets
this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2026
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I was just thinking... last time this happened, in 2013, the NHTSA investigated 2 fires and Tesla issued a free fix.
I wonder what changed to make Tesla fear the NHTSA so little? :>
Wherever I'm going, I'll be there to apply the formula. I'll keep the secret intact.
It's simple arithmetic.
It's a story problem.
If a new car built by my company leaves Chicago traveling west at 60 miles per hour, and the rear differential locks up, and the car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside, does my company initiate a recall?
You take the population of vehicles in the field (A) and multiple it by the probable rate of failure (B), then multiply the result by the average cost of an out-of-court settlement (C).
A times B times C equals X. This is what it will cost if we don't initiate a recall.
If X is greater than the cost of a recall, we recall the cars and no one gets hurt.
If X is less than the cost of a recall, then we don't recall.
Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club
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3 Cybertrucks Caught Fire
You yaself admitta yaself
They said it was built like a tank, now i get what they mean; the underside is a weakpoint
A third Cybertruck drove over a highway cable barrier, lost a wheel, and burned for hours despite the fire department’s best efforts on-scene.
Wha... what... what in the ever-fucking love do you mean it lost a wheel?!
I... I'm at a loss here, you... cars are not supposed to lose wheels?!
His style can be a bit annoying but go watch WhistlingDiesels CyberTruck durability tests.
Dude had to keep pumping money to the Tesla center for repairs just to get the thing running again for more video content. Tow hitch module fell off after some off roading and the thing couldn't move anymore. Because that's how well it's built.
He's done this to a bunch of vehicles and nothing is this finicky. The actual king of status symbol trucks, the Mercedes G class, survived everything he threw at it pretty much.
Isn't that guy a con-man?
His videos are all bullshit.
I don't watch his stuff, I only knew about the name because of coffeezilla. Did some digging, and he has been arrested twice for tax evasion. And got a mail order bride from Russia.
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Youre not supposed to drive over steel poles either. Unintended use cases can result in unexpected behavior
My previous EV, an extremely humble (and cheap) Dacia Spring, got hit by a semi on the highway. It was totaled, completely destroyed. It finished upside down and even then, it didn't catch fire and the doors opened. Also didn't lose any of the wheels. I'd say that was the most unintended use case of the car and still, a barely 15k euros car ended in a better shape than a $75k+ monstrosity that is marketed as a truck "for the apocalypse".
The fact that "it didn't catch fire and the doors opened" is the measure of success means that the bar is really on the floor for Teslas.
For real though don't run over the bar with a Tesla, if it goes through the battery, you're toast
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One of the three hit a fire hydrant and a tree before the battery ignited. The flaming prison cell on three wheels is not the expected behaviour following a minor road traffic accident either: "In this total nightmare scenario, the doors would not open, and the driver couldn’t break the Cybertruck’s “armored” windows from inside"
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EM: Well, there are a lot of these cars going around the world all the time, and very seldom does anything like this happen … I just don’t want people thinking that Cybertrucks aren’t safe.
R: Was this Cybertruck safe?
EM: Well I was thinking more about the other ones…
R: The ones that are safe...
EM: Yeah... the ones the wheel doesn’t fall off.
I saw a video of a guy how had an accident in his cybertruck. He lost a wheel and filmed the aftermath and talked about it. The wheel at the breaking points looked like it was melted together out of old monster cans. You could see millions of pretty sizable pores. So i'm kinda shocked that it's not happening more frequently to be honest
It's a Cybertruck thing! If you look at photos of wrecks, you'll see an inordinate number that tossed a wheel.
So the Batmobile that lost it's wheel, was a Cybertruck!
And the joker got away
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Our product is shit? Buy more shit, to make the shit less shit!
Folks, please stop kicking Cybertrucks in the balls
And if you own a Cybertruck, please purchase our new jockstrap
Any other company would have been sued into nonexistence if they released a car that;
Lied in its marketing
Can't tow for shit - aluminium frame holding tow bar collapses under 'rated' strain
Can't be driven in water - electronics fail
Can't offroad
Breaks when treated as anything but a soccermom suv
Stuck the accelerator on full blast during one user's drive
Autopilot feature was stuck behind and update for the first year
And now denonstrably sets fire to itself if damaged from the underside (but dont worry, the company now sells a product to bandaid that open chest wound)
I'm going to propose that they already had this fix in mind, they just didn't make it standard equipment because they tried to ~~save money~~ raise profits by not putting it on them. Didn't Teslas have this issue before and they designed a retrofit for them?
Ah yes, the Boeing school of transport safety. Part of the vehicle keeps exploding? Just put some metal sheet around it.
There are many other EVa that don't have this problem
A mere strike to the underbody, you say?
I mean short of directly funding a powerful Nazi, there appears to be a lot of other reasons not to own one of these things.
I won't be surprised to hear that the NHTSA is surpressing Tesla accident data.
It's a lot more than tacky.
A shield upgrade? My racecar has that. Made out of 1/4" steel to give extra ~~perfection~~ protection to the oil pan. It was free. Left over metal on the shop floor. Also my racecar isn't prone to catching on fire like a Tesla but, I still have a fire extinguisher in it.
I feel like you just wanted to tell people about your racecar, but I respect that. May I see a photo?
I'm only going to say no cause I don't wanna give out my name that's on it lol. I will however give you the guy who won our divisions feature last weekend. Our car is similar under the hood, we just have an 80s Monte Carlo body kit.
A fire extinguisher ain’t gonna touch a battery fire. There really isn’t much you can do besides keep things away from it while it burns itself out.
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Its an ev version of the pinto
The Pinto was cheap and reliable and did not fund Nazism.
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