this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.

Which scenario is better?

  • Eat the entire bag in 30 minutes
  • Eat the bag slowly, and evenly throughout a day?

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[–] Jasontheguitarist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

So the question seems to be answered at this point, but on a related note, does anyone else hate that fucking packaging? It never really seals properly, and accessing the cookies on the outer rows is difficult. If you try to reseal it often and make it last a while they fucking go stale.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 4 points 15 hours ago

Probably be design to force you to eat them quickly or throw them away. Either way you're buying more sooner. Here in Europe I don't remember seeing those trays often and mostly the tubes ones, these are better at keeping them fresh.

[–] Scrollone@feddit.it 1 points 14 hours ago

I'm in Europe and Oreo boxes are waaaay smaller. It's crazy what Americans are used to buy.

[–] toadjones79@lemm.ee 7 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Technically the entire bag all at once will raise blood sugar higher, causing a bigger spike. The liver can't deal with that much, so it converts the excess to fat faster than if it is spread out. The bigger problem is making it a habit of surprising your metabolism with huge calorie spikes with starvation in-between. One time isn't bad enough to be concerned with. Weekly, or even daily will wreck your liver (non alcoholic fatty liver disease or NAFLD is just a couple steps away from cirrhosis)

Also, I'm no doctor nor do I have any background in the medical field. I just have a more progressed version of NAFLD from eating things like Oreos with both hands for forty years.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

That make alot of sense. I'm sorry you have NAFLD, is it getting better now?

[–] toadjones79@lemm.ee 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Zero symptoms. It's something very common, and usually discovered by coincidence. But I'm down 40 pounds so far. My grandmother died of non-alcoholic cirrhosis. It was horrifying to watch as a teen. Now that I'm in my forties this diagnosis, which is common, seriously scares the hell out of me. So I take it as a good thing that I am using to make lifelong changes. Crossing my fingers. I still want to lose 20-30 pounds. If nothing else I'm saving great money avoiding the convenience food I abused on a daily basis. And I'm getting really into working out and am hoping to get some "gains" in the next couple months.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 2 points 15 hours ago

that sounds really healthy! keep up the good work.

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 21 points 22 hours ago

I've solved that problem by buying two bags. One to eat all at once. And one to spread out over the rest of the day.

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 6 points 19 hours ago

All else being equal, spread out so not to induce a sugar rush/diabetic shock.

[–] crozilla@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago

Oreo’s have had all their flavor sucked out of them through enshitification—and to make you eat more to feel satisfied.

Go to any grocery store (like TJ’s) and just buy “Sandwich Cookies.” THEY taste like Oreos used to.

(But, you have to eat them fast as they degrade quickly like actual food, something Oreos isn’t.)

[–] DirigibleProtein@aussie.zone 3 points 19 hours ago

Put them in the other room so that you save some for later, and then keep going back at intervals for just one more, until suddenly there are none left.

[–] TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago

One sleeve per bite. Take one sleeve in the morning and one in the evening. Call me in the morning.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Eat em all at once. Right before your appointment at the dentist to have your teeth cleaned

[–] whodrankarnoldpalmer@startrek.website 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Immediately after the tuna salad sandwich. Heck, treat yourself to a big glass of milk with those cookies, too.

[–] AoxoMoxoA@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Or a milk and onion smoothie

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago

Not to judge you or anything but I'm judging you

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

More enjoyment if you spread it out over the whole day, plus you won't barf. You might shit liquid, but y'know, lesser evil I'd say.

[–] Shapillon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People barf from binge eating stuff? :o

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah, there's a finite amount of room in there, where else it is supposed to go?

[–] Shapillon@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago

The second stomach ig? 👍

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Eating sugary stuff that sticks in your teeth continuously throughout the day is the worst possible you can do for the teeth.

Binge eating sweets is pretty bad for blood sugar.

So to balance it out eat a third after every meal for max health and enjoyment.

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

So do a line after you dine?

[–] ef9357@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

If you are intermittent fasting, then eat in one 30 minute window. If not, no fucking idea.

[–] BradleyUffner@lemmy.world 99 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The package is conveniently divided into breakfast, lunch, and dinner rows.

[–] vulgarcynic@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 day ago

We call that doing lines around these parts.

[–] LittleTarsier@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

As a Canadian, unfortunately the answer is now to not eat them at all because they are an American product. This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(

[–] anas@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago

This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(

It gets easier, trust me. We’ve been boycotting American (and more) products over here for a while, I barely miss anything anymore.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What about Canadian off-brand? Is that a thing? Like at Canadamart or Tim Horton's or wherever y'all shop?

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

technically it's an off off brand because Oreos themselves are an off brand

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

True, but Hydrox is also American, so no dice.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

darn :(, I tried

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[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Scrape off all the cream and eat a bowlful of that, then snack on the burnt cookies the rest of the day.

[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I love that the question doesn't specify what "better" means, and we're all interpreting it in our own ways. Healthier? More enjoyable?

[–] Lag@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

It's better for mother nature if we all try to eat a whole bag in 30 seconds.

[–] gjoel@programming.dev 78 points 2 days ago (3 children)

A dentist once answered this question. Better to eat it at once than soak your teeth in sugar for the entire day. Even better if you brush your teeth after, of course.

[–] TomAwsm@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Better for your teeth, sure. Nutritionally, I'm pretty sure it's better to spread it out.

[–] Dark_Arc@social.packetloss.gg 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Nutritionally, it's terrible either way.

I think your body would have a better time with it spread out over the course of the entire day. However you're still absorbing an insane amount of sugar in a single day.

There's a chance all at once would result in more of it being pooped out and thus be better ... but it's so close to just eating sugar I expect you'd absorb it and then your body would go into overdrive producing insulin.

Fine every now and then, but regularly it would be insanely bad no matter which way you do it.

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[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’d probably barf if I ate the whole pack in one sitting. Or at least feel like I would.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Can confirm, I felt like that once and it made me quit Oreos for a long while. I still don't quite enjoy them as much and do limit how many I eat. So I guess that's good?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 33 points 2 days ago (13 children)

Ehhh, I'd say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.

Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.

That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You've got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.

Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.

But I'd say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.

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[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee -2 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

yeah i aint touching this question, eating disorders are a bitch and this is the kind of preoccupation that we gotta let go of

[–] renrenPDX@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It depends on what you want your poop to look like later.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

oh i don't plan on pooping.

[–] lukstru@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Do you just let it happen when the time comes?

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