this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Not The Onion

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[–] ultratiem@lemmy.ca 161 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What the hell is this perfect picture?

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[–] Imbrex@lemmy.world 142 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wtf how is the onion supposed to keep up with this shit

[–] Neato@kbin.social 47 points 2 years ago (2 children)

By waiting until people are used to their shit and posting completely normal stories about them. No one would believe them.

[–] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 37 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Republican has a change of heart when their 12 year old daughter gets pregnant, now supports abortion. "

[–] SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz 29 points 2 years ago (2 children)

No, I think that one's fairly common. So is just "Republican gets pregnant, now supports abortion - but only for her specific circumstances".

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[–] art@lemmy.world 113 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Okay, that's a red flag. Someone check his hard drive.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If anything objectionable comes up, your accountability partner gets an immediate notice. I’m proud to tell ya, my son has got a clean slate.

"Myself, on the other hand? Petabytes of CSAM."

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

"My son knows how to use a VPN"

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 20 points 2 years ago

I think his son checks it often.

...Wait, were you intending innuendo or not?

[–] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

50,000 files of drag queens and transgender porn show up

[–] fosiacat@lemmy.world 96 points 2 years ago (2 children)

god these people are fucking weird. so fucking weird.

[–] Teon@kbin.social 14 points 2 years ago

You spelled weird wrong.
It's spelled, *psycho.

[–] reflex@kbin.social 83 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

he installed “accountability software” called Covenant Eyes on his devices in order to abstain from internet porn

Covenant Eyes sounds like some Handmaid's Tale shit.

[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (4 children)

Hey, I have a local cult that uses that software.

https://www.dwellchurchcolumbusisacult.com/

They also like to pack a bunch of students into one apartment and then charge each of them $700*/month in rent.

*(Don't take my word on the numbers.)

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[–] Fester@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] reflex@kbin.social 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[–] figaro@lemdro.id 15 points 2 years ago

I swear, every week I see an article that makes me say, "oh shit, The Handmaid's Tale is starting"

[–] yildo@kbin.social 8 points 2 years ago

Next step up from using confession material for blackmailing parishioners

[–] swope@kbin.social 45 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Is porn intake measured in sieverts or mW/cm² or what?

What level is considered safe?

Asking for a friend.

[–] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Npps aka Naked People Per Second

[–] ironhydroxide@partizle.com 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not to be confused with NiPS. (Nipples per second) Which indicates how many definitely female nipples are in view per second. This is a better metric as many scenes are shown with partial clothing and therefore don't get counted in the NPPS metric correctly.

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[–] runeko@programming.dev 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Pretty sure it's millipervs.

[–] TomAwsm@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

With this guy, it's more like megapervs.

[–] quinkin@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

I think the SI unit is faps but the Americans still use yanks.

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[–] Bremmy@lemmy.ml 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Same software the Duggar pedo used?

[–] Uranium3006@kbin.social 17 points 2 years ago

abuse software for abusers

[–] csolisr@communities.azkware.net 29 points 2 years ago

So what you're telling me is, that Johnson and his little Johnson measure the usage of each other's Johnsons?

[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ok, how many burner phones does he have?

[–] Isoprenoid@programming.dev 27 points 2 years ago

Dude, I'm willing to bet the son has at least one.

"I’m proud to tell ya, my son has got a clean slate."

A quote like this tempts fate. I thought he was trying to avoid temptation.

[–] IvanOverdrive@lemm.ee 27 points 2 years ago

There is no normal, only weird and weirder. Beware the normies, for they are least normal of us all.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago (13 children)

As a parent, thats just some shit you don't wanna know. Like idgaf if its furry or scat shit keep it to yourself, kid.

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[–] gaiussabinus@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Isn't this the kind of thing TOR and a private browsing session was made for? Additionally this is just bizarre.

[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 years ago

Maybe it's a way to make sure they don't forget. Like "oh hey bro i saw u had some lewds in ur history make sure u go incognito next time" "Damn u right man good lookin out" fist bump

[–] Delphia@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Its really creepy and intrusive. But at the same time, I can find really fucked up porn with literally zero effort.

I mean, if your kid has terrabytes of rough incest bdsm porn people will ask why you werent monitoring their internet use, but monitoring them like this feels like a different kind of weird.

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Shit, if your kid has terabytes of train videos you need to intervene. Terabytes of any specific thing and... son we need to talk

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Thats what I mean, how do you know unless you're either using this shit or searching the HDD. I was a kid back when porn was Jpgs traded on floppy disks or grainy 480x320 10 second realplayer clips.

[–] skooks@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Why did that make me feel so nostalgic?

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[–] Fal@yiffit.net 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

He's taking about his kid monitoring him as well.

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[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago

Nothing creepy about that

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It must be that software that you install that lets your "accountability buddy" check your browsing activity.

[–] Orbituary@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It literally says that in the article.

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