Comic Strips

"I'M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN"

"Oh thank gods, I thought you'd never take a hint. You are objectively an awful person and no amount of spending on your part was ever going to make dealing with you worthwhile. Yes, PLEASE leave and never show your face here again."

This is a bit of a grey area because there are some asshole companies and asshole employees

I'd recently had an experience with a racist aldi employee only bag checking my mother because we where not one of the white people in line and that same aldi employee happened to lie about bag checking the white people ahead that we visibly saw her not check

This happened in Australia, but we live in one of the towns in Queensland not known for progresiveness

I'm planning to move to Brisbane or Melbourne once I am able too just to get away from all of the non progressive people here in my hometown

"Sir/mam, this is a Walmart. Your loss of business is literally a rounding error in pur profits."

"...Also all the other local stores were run out of business so there's no where else to shop."

As someone who worked retail for a long time, I relished these moments... Their righteous indignation would snap me out of my ennui, and I'd love watching their face when I'd respond, "OK, bye", or give them no reaction whatsoever.

You have to appreciate those moments in retail because the rest of the time is pretty awful.

"And I'm not paid enough TO care."

Honestly they are just doing us a favor. I really don't want to see them again either.

Even the tiniest semblance of power can go to a person’s head. You had $25 worth of merchandise in your hands, Karen. The store will be okay without you.

And they'll all be back next week, simply because it's the most convenient for them to drive to.

I've stopped going to businesses for various reasons over the years but I've never annouced the reason(s). I just stop going because I don't care about it enough. I'm not a feedback kind of guy.

On the other hand, I did just tell a bunch of local places I will no longer be a customer because they advertise on PublicSquare.

So I guess I'm those people now.

When I was a teenager in the 90s I worked a local, Chicago-area chain fast food job, as ya do. One customer was mad that his ribs were taking a while so he came up to tell at the cashier. The General Manager was a older Chicagoan with a Mike Ditka mustache, and came out of the office right behind the cashiers and yelled right back, mad that somebody was yelling at his employees.

The guy shouted that he'd take his business elsewhere and never come back, at which point the GM pointed at the line that stretched to the door and said something to the effect of "you see all these people? I don't need your business! Now get out of my store!" It was in the middle of the dinner rush, and it's still a popular chain.

We all really liked that GM before and especially after that. He was one of those "tough but fair" types, the kind of boss you could respect. Good guy.

The point is that yeah, go ahead and take your business elsewhere Karen. It literally makes no difference and nobody cares.

Companies I boycott:

Bank of America
5/3 Bank
Wells Fargo
McDonald's
Walmart
That corner gas station that never paid their invoice Planet Fitness
John Deere
Verizon
AT&T

Number of store employees I've told that I'm never coming back:

0

today a customer thought I was laughing at them. I just had a mouthful of water I was desperately trying not to choke on 🥲😭

thankfully my manager didn't believe them

I’ve definitely boycotted companies, but try to make sure my reasoning is sent as high as it can, and even then try to direct it to the company itself rather than whoever I have on the phone.

I honestly do wonder where the average person thinks the customer service workers have some kind of stake in the company or something. Getting fired from a job like that is only a minor inconvenience, and the odds of their complaint being anywhere near a firable offense is usually laughable (and half the time the opposite as usually it's wanting the employee to break store policy).

See, what you gotta do is threaten them with absurdity.

Don't say "I'm never coming back". Instead, walk across the street to the bus stop. Wait for them to come out to their car. Memorize it.

Now come back to the parking lot every day for a week. Wait for them to leave their car, and go inside. Once they're inside, you walk over to their car, and write down their liscense plate number.

Now go home, and use public records to do a search to find their name and address.

Now go back to the store, and take a picture of them with your cell phone.

Now, sit across the street from a police department, and watch for a cop arriving to work. Take note of his liscense plate, and search his name/address.

Now write a letter to the clerk, threatening to wait outside his work with a giraffe. Tell him "Giraffes have 15 inch tongues, thick as a beer can. I've trained this one to stick their tongues into your butthole, and grab your waist with their teeth. You'll be 19 feet in the air, getting tongue fucked by a giraffe. If you try to escape, you fall. See ya at Costco, Gary!"

And you use the cops name/address as the return address. Now if he tries to go to the cops, they'll protect their own, and find something to arrest him with.

Checkmate, Gary!

An interaction I had when I was in my final days of my fast food "career":

Karen: "The service here is terrible I'm NEVER eating here again if you don't fix this RIGHT NOW"

Me (actually said to them): "Oh no, please don't, the giant multinational corporation with billions in revenue that is [Big burger fast food joint] will notice and cry"

Karen: "I..yea...well!" Storms off

Sales are in the shitter, I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go.

I don't care.