this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2023
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A majority of younger veterans said they feel uncomfortable when they are told “thank you for your service,” a new poll found.

Ahead of Veterans Day on Saturday, a survey found disparities between young military members and their older counterparts in how they prefer to be recognized for their service.

Among younger military members and veterans — age 18 to 29 — 70 percent said they feel uncomfortable or awkward when they are thanked for their service. Only 24 percent of older members, 65 years and up, say the same, the Endeavor Analytics and YouGov poll found.

“This data shows that military service members and our veterans want Americans to go beyond small talk to connect with them on a deeper level, including learning more about their service, honoring each veteran’s service in ways in which they feel comfortable talking about it,” Robert F. Whittle Jr., retired Army major general and United Services Automobile Association (USAA) chief of staff, said in a statement.

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[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 130 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a weird thing to do. The lionization of the military is unhealthy for a democracy.

Thank a teacher, doctor, scientist or firefighter instead.

[–] ChrisLicht@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

Convenience store workers are the true heroes under fire.

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 86 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've always thought it was more for the person doing the thanking wanting everyone around know they're more patriotic than everyone else

[–] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Performative patriotism.

No different than trying to have the most flags on your house.

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[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 66 points 1 year ago (2 children)

34 here, I absolutely hate being told thank you for my service and generally don't reveal I was in the military if I can avoid it. I have no interest in being associated with the crowd of morons happy to send other people's kids to war and then refuses to take care of them when they come back.

[–] MycoBro@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Every time I see someone with one of those fucking hats on (you know the ones) it makes me cringe so hard. Like those dudes who get there basic training company tattooed on their arm, or even worse, a combat patch tattoo hahaha. You now how many fucking boots got first cav tattoos after deployment? Lol. POGs everyone of them.

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[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hell I’m 50 and I hate that shit. It’s the most pandering, “thought and prayers” bs since “thoughts and prayers”

[–] Weirdfish@lemmy.world 46 points 1 year ago (4 children)

So do plenty of us older ones. I worked in a hospital state side, I wasn't G.I. Joe.

Yep, I don't like it one bit when said to me, and the one time I said it to a much younger vet I'd met I immediately felt uncomfortable having said it. (And I think he was uncomfortable too.)

I joined up because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, enjoyed a brief flare of patriotism during and after bootcamp, learned some marketable skills, hated being in by the time I'd been in a year, and got back out as soon as I could to get paid for those skills as a civilian.

Yeah it sucked, and I guess I'm glad that folks appreciate that it sucked, but no one should thank me personally for it. It was my choice to join, and I did it primarily due to a lack of other good options.

I appreciate the veterans that have come after, but generally find the military worship at certain concerts and such to be a bit over the top.

[–] Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tbh then you probably deserve it more than killers for joining an aggressive war

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[–] SlapnutsGT@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Same here. I was an electrician that fixed lighthouses.

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[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Im not a younger veteran, but I've learned not to tell anyone that I am. I don't want people to thank me for stuff Im ashamed of from 20 years ago.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

Thanks for being a human being, it can be tough sometimes.

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[–] halferect@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It's always been weird, it's a job, do you tell the Starbucks employee that serves our country and helps keep the American economy going "thank you for your service"? It would make sense if we didn't have a volunteer military but we do so it's the same as thanking anyone for the job they do if they see you in your work uniform

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I only say it to bus drivers because they are the thin khaki line that stands between peace and total societal collapse

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[–] YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I always responded with, Thank you for paying your taxes.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I was at a doctor's office and an old guy was wearing a cap for his naval boat and someone else had to go over and shake his hand and thank him for his service. You're at a doctor's office! Don't fucking shake people's hands!

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[–] Eezyville@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I feel uncomfortable when people thank me for my service and I wasn't even in the military. I was a civilian working for the Air Force and it's on my resume so I'm always thanked at interviews. It's always so shallow, like a greeting.

"Hi! How's your day? Thank you for your service!"

"No I didn't fight. I was a civilian doing engineering work in support."

[–] odium@programming.dev 19 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Thank you for your service

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[–] Draedron@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 year ago

I feel uncomfortable knowing americans do this.

[–] SmokumJoe@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not in the military but I've always felt this way the case. It's so empty and meaningless.

It seems like it's more for the people saying it. "I did something nice today to make me feel good about myself. I thanked a person for doing something they signed up for under their own free will. "

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I was at a party given by my neighbor last year and I met his brother-in-law, an Army vet. I chatted with him for a while but I gradually got the impression he had taken an instant dislike to me so I moved on. The next day I was talking to my neighbor and asked him what was up, and he told me that his BIL was highly offended that I hadn't said "thank you for your service". I thought this was bullshit and so did my neighbor - apparently this guy had never left the country, never saw combat, and just worked in an office building doing IT stuff.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or we could treat them like people and not revere a shitty job they had in their early 20s. Idk that’s what my veteran friends seem to prefer

[–] PilferJynx@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

And the fact most of our modern wars have been various versions of invasion.

[–] runjun@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

It’s extremely uncomfortable. I got thanked on base while I was in PT gear buying alcohol.

[–] oleorun@real.lemmy.fan 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The correct gear to be wearing to get alcohol for sure.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

False.

Silkies and PT belt are proper attire for buying alcohol. Don't forget your battle buddy.

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[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I learned this volunteering at the VFW. When you get involved with vet culture, you can tell pretty quickly if the person wants that kind of attention. I also learned that the only real way to thank them is to listen to their stories so we can abandon the need for the military.

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[–] USSEthernet@startrek.website 21 points 1 year ago

Young? Literally every person I served with said it was weird over a decade ago.

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I got thanked once because I was wearing a tshirt from an air force base gift shop.

[–] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you for your purchase.

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh, um, this is uncomfortable. It was actually gifted to me from my military friend 😅

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[–] abbotsbury@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

USAA announced it would introduce a new campaign ahead of this year’s Veterans Day that encourages Americans to “Go Beyond Thanks” to honor military members.

Oh thats hilarious, ' vets feel uncomfortable when thanked? Well you better learn to suck them off better! '

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I went to a film festival a few years ago and one of the films was about the director's father, a Vietnam veteran. The father was there at the screening and gave a talk after the movie was over. One of the things he said was how much he hated hearing "thank you for your service", mainly because he thought the war had been pointless and no service to the US had been provided, and in any event he had been drafted and never saw combat. During the Q&A a fellow Vietnam vet stood up and asked him a question, and the first thing the film's subject said in reply was "thank you for your service".

[–] Gimpydude@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Older veterans do too. We all think it's weird.

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[–] shasta@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I never served on active duty, but I did a few years of ROTC in college, before I had to drop out for medical reasons, and we would wear the uniforms. The rank insignias are completely different but most people can't tell the difference. I would get thanked for my "service" every now and then and have no idea how to respond. But beyond that, even if I was an active service member, I think it would be awkward. Many of those guys, especially enlisted folks, are doing it for personal gain. Recruiters push the fact that you can get training to develop lifelong skills that you can use outside the military. You get a big signing bonus, and pretty good pay. It's a great option for anyone who slacked off in high school and have no idea what to do with their lives. Then people randomly thank you as if you're doing something noble. Of course that would make you feel awkward, even guilty sometimes, like you're taking advantage of something you shouldn't be, like you're a fraud because you know the kind of person this people think you should be and you know you're not that person.

Most people serve for their initial contract of 4 years and then leave. You get your GI bill at that point and can attend college for free. With the cost of secondary education these days, it is a very good path to take to overcome the bullshit price hikes of the last few decades that have disadvantaged our younger generations. Some people who take that path are quietly angry at the world for forcing them down it, for forcing them to compromise their moral integrity (in some cases) and serve in the military, and delay the real start to their adult life for 4 years, just to catch up to the level of their more privileged peers whose parents can pay for their college expenses for them.

It's also awkward when people thank you on Memorial Day, which is specifically a day to honor the dead. Thanking an active or retired serviceman kinda feels like stolen valor. Veterans Day is for honoring the living. This is forgivable though because most people are simply unaware of the distinction.

[–] ZMonster@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Vet here. I give you my blessing. 😉 I'm okay when it comes from people genuinely, but when it comes from the employee at Lowe's, it means absolutely nothing, regardless - so I usually just say "no thank you". And I think people only do it because marketing in the early 2000s really pushed that shit. When I got back in 2005, people in the airport started an applause and some old greasy guy grabbed my arm and took my hand to shake it. I hated every second of it. I wished the building would have collapsed on them. I kept thinking, I wonder if they would be so quick to applaud us if they saw half the pictures I had taken. I deleted every picture I had and exorcized those SD cards within days. And the only thing outside of my own head that reminds me of the horrible shit we did is those fucking bobbleheads and their incessant gratuity.

That said, I did get the third degree from a Vietnam vet once because, he "never got thanked" for his service, "they just called us babykillers". Which I thought was funny, because when I was shipping out, a young adolescent saw us in uniform and yelled, "babykillers!", to which I responded, "wrong war buddy", and my platoon mates laughed. So I suppose getting empty, ignorant valor is better than misdirected vitriol.

Either way, fuck nationalists.

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I rarely say it, most vets I've met, regardless of age, don't seem to really like being told that.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Then there's all the boots wearing full fatigues plus hat buying a rotisserie chicken at the grocery store.

Though I live near a base so I guess that just comes with the territory. And most of the time they ain't vets yet from what I can tell with my civvie ass having eyes.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 6 points 1 year ago

I know someone in the military and he brings it up at every possible opportunity. He's not even combat trained, he's in logistics.

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[–] dewritoninja@pawb.social 8 points 1 year ago

Thank you for stealing oil and perpetuating out global hegemony - ftfy

[–] Diva@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fortunately if there's one thing I'm consistent about it's that I will never thank a ~~troop~~ colonial enforcer for their service.

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