Probably this is yet another case of a journalist spinning yarn out of some poor researcher's paper summary, and then being quoted out of context.

Cats don't see you as cat, but also not as someone superior, they can see you as friend, but you have to gain it, if not, you are only an tin opener and food supply. They are anarchists by nature.

When I had a dog, I used to think my dog thinks he will grow just as big as me and will join my daily routine, which was a bit depressing when you think about it

My cat knows about nuclear war. He simply hasn't chosen to exercise the knowledge.

This will totally dox myself to anyone who might be in or know someone in an old friend group.

I'm a very furry person - I joke that I put the hair suit in hirsute - but at least it's soft! Years upon years ago, I had a one night stand with my then future partner's (now ex's) best friend. It was bad. Really, awkwardly bad. The kind of bad where I woke up the next morning and, instead of trying for another go, groaned inwardly because they were still there, a living reminder of how bad it was.

I took out my phone and hastily messaged my best friend, asking her advice on politely dealing with this. Unbeknownst to me, my guest was awake, messaging my future partner. She described being barely awake in the early morning, petting my cat. I didn't have a cat or any pets. As she became more aware, she realized she was petting my chest.

Apparently some humans think I'm a big stupid cat too.

P.s. She also thought the sex was awful.

Talk for yourself

I think people are leaving out purring and kneading as behavior. Both are kitten behaviors. Suggesting to humans they click into "kitten mode"

The thing I've seen is that when they show dogs an image of their owner while the dog is in a PET scan, and show the dog pictures of other animals, the same part of the brain lights up, while showing the dog pictures of other dogs lights up a different but close area of the brain. Doing the same test on cats had one area lighting up for other animals, but the same part lighting up when shown their owner and when shown other cats

3 college professors (1990) suggested we read Desmond Morris' books. Don't know how the science has stood up, but he believed this. Dogs and cats think humans are weird versions of their own species, that we're basically their parents, and act accordingly. Nothing IRL has dissuaded me from that notion.

One interesting idea I got from him; When we're small we love huge animals, see them as parents. As we get older, we like small animals, see them as our children.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desmond_Morris

Again, don't know how it stands up, but The Naked Ape is damned thought provoking.

And they KNOW humans provide sustenance on a regular basis, and protection, so I can’t believe they think we’re just giant hairless monstrous cats. They’d have to think everything else is a cat otherwise. Look at the flying cats, mom! I’m gonna catch and eat one!

May I present to you: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rusty-spotted_cat

But they are!

They can't even turn doorknobs, no matter how many months they try. But you give them a lever knob, that's a totally different story...

Because you're his big bald kitten

Leader*

Dogs don't need a leader - the whole alpha male wolf thing has long been disproven, by the original author none the less. Dogs are highly social and live in groups, yes, but there's no boss dog. Very few animals have a concept of a leader. In fact I'd argue that none do and it's a totally human idea.

I like your cat/dog thinking idea though. Cats very much think 'me me me'!