Maxwell Studio Apartment K Cups.
this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2025
188 points (93.5% liked)
Not The Onion
18253 readers
2717 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
New tag line:
"Maxwell Apartment, cause let's face it, you will never be able to afford a House."
What’s the opposite of eating the onion?
I thought this was satire through the whole read.
I'm still not sure.
I think I need more coffee.
I can't wait til Maxwell Cardboard Box comes out. -At least it's not a mouthful to say.
TIL this shit excuse for coffee-flavored water still exists.
Most of us can't afford nice things.
Hence, the name change I suppose.
At $21/can if you can believe it.
21??? That's insane!
Uhm, have you been in a grocery store lately? It's nearly impossible to leave without spending less than 100$ if you're buying a week's worth of food for one or two people. I have no idea how families are surviving right now.
But at least we all voted for fascism, that will surely help us all afford nicer coffee.
But the tariffs will bring back banana manufacturing to America. Some of the best coffee came from Scranton, PA.
Massive amounts of people are dying and have been for over a decade now it's just unreported. We live in the soviet union.
I'm over here buying a 25 pound bag of rice and trying to master the art of the pot of beans.
Rice and beans are key to survival right now... assuming you don't have blood sugar problems, white rice is unfortunately, basically sugar.
I try to mix white with brown to stretch it and reduce the "hungry again 30 minutes later" effect of simple carbs.
It is the distant future, the year two thousand!
We are robots.
We have Maxwell Walmart pushcart and we don't understand the origin of this brand but love the taste!
Finally, robotic beings rule the world
The humans are dead
We used poisonous gasses and we poisoned their asses…
The humans are dead...
The humans are dead...
Introducing Maxwell individual robot care blister packs! Now with 50% engine oil option for lubricity!
How is this not satire?!
Apparently it’s a temporary thing, but still wild.
It got us talking about it. Marketers high fiving right now.
Sounds like a silly gimmick.
Reminds me of the IHOB bit.
It's a pretty good gimmick though.
personally i fucking hate marketing stunts designed to generate headlines for companies that haven't had any in years. this seems like a really cheap way to say "haha folks sure are struggling, anyway buy our products!"
Normally I'd agree with you but I think Maxwell House is struggling right alongside them. I drink a shit ton of coffee and forgot they even existed as a brand.
dude, kraft heinz is not a person, it's one of the largest companies in the united states. stop anthropomorphizing brands.
(yes, the company is not doing great, but that's a risk of a capitalist market & the investors/executives who are beholden to its KPIs are not going hungry)
I don't get the advertising idea behind this? Is it supposed to be implying that people in smaller living situations drink less coffee? Is it smaller containers because apartments supposedly lack as much storage as houses?
Beyond just being a stupid idea from a company perspective, it's also a stupid idea from a marketing perspective because your marketing campaign is ostensibly supposed to make sense. There's no correlation between coffee and size of a person's living quarters, and so it seems that the joke is entirely based on "apartment is like house". Which a fifth grader could have come up with...
I hate this timeline.
It's basically the waffle house thing but much less clever, and even that was stupid. "User engagement" is what they are looking for. Our talking about a can of burned wood, hamster bedding, and old coffee grounds guarantees a sales increase. People should start boycotting products when they do stupid crap like this to discourage the behavior, but honestly, much bigger fish to fry right now.
If you dig through the finer marketing print, it seems like this is a concept you can "lease" for the next 12 months, meaning it's not a rebrand at all, just a year of alternative packaging. But hey everyone is talking about them, so it worked.
Its supposed to trigger conversation so people post about it on link aggregators like lemmy or reddit to make fun of it, but also communicate the campaign to a wider audience without needing to spend money on advertising.
To be rebranded again to Maxwell Tent in a couple of years
Maxwell Shanty - for the warm, satisfying taste of displaced survival
Then, a few years after that, to cardboard box.
Lmfao "opting to rent" as if we have a choice
So if I start drinking this swill, instead of fancy lattes, I'll be able to afford everything, right?
Shut up and eat your protein bricks and get back to work. You're not being not paid to ponder things.
Will I be able to afford a house before I turn 70?
If you accrue enough PeasantPoints™ you can cash them in for up an hour each week of House Premium, a virtual home-like experience delivered streaming directly to your government-supplied headset, delight in the following virtual experiences:
- Dry floors and a roof!
- Windows with view of tree!
- Dog!
- Chair-like fixtures!
- No ants!
To celebrate the limited-time rebrand, the company is offering consumers a 12-month “lease” of Maxwell Apartment coffee, which is designed save coffee lovers across the United States money. For less than US$40, consumers can stock their pantry with a full year of coffee to save coffee enthusiasts more than US$1000 annually.
Sucks to not have room for it in their apartments
I'm surprised they can legally call it coffee.
I presumed it was short for “house blend”. The hotel history is arguably more worthy of consumption
Hold on, the coffee was named for a hotel that hosted the KKK before it was even done?
Honestly that deal sounds amazing. My office has a Keurig and pods are stupidly pricey. I bought a coffee maker and probably spend $100 for shitty grinded coffee a year.
Unfortunately, Maxwell House gives me headaches.
Maxwell Hobo is on the way
Maxwell Bedsit, more like! Also, didn’t know this still existed.
Okay but the Maxwell House was a hotel…