this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026

38 points (86.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

37876 readers

2069 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world

TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee

TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com

Asudox@lemmy.world

lemmy_bot@lemmy.world

beefbaby182@lemmy.world

ModeratorCan@lemmy.world

neidu3@sh.itjust.works

asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev

candyman337@lemmy.world

candyman337@sh.itjust.works

Lonely people of the internet, What are your thoughts on valentimes day? (media.piefed.zip)

submitted 3 days ago by Grumpy404@piefed.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

27 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Im not sure what to think as ive never been in love or had friends, im only 20 and this it somewhat uncommon i think?

Ive been lonely my whole life and valetimes day is just another cruel reminder.

What do you think of this holiday?

all 28 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

I saw a ton of people getting pulled over on the highway (because for some reason holidays where I live seem to require more speed traps) and I went "oh yeah that's today". Which was basically all the thought I gave it lol.

Also for the love of god it's Valentine's Day

[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

I’m fine with it as a whole, but what grinds my gears about it is how everybody has to ask “who’s your valentine?” every year, as though they’re forced to at gunpoint.

Sure, when I eventually get into a relationship, I’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day because it’s actually a really nice premise (apart from the consumerism of course), but currently, I really don’t care to celebrate it, I’m just starting uni currently and id rather focus on that lol.

[–] Clbull@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I also see it as a cruel reminder of my ineptitude with women, and I write this as somebody who lost their virginity on Valentines Day last year.

That being said, my hatred for the holiday has diminished over the years. You don't really need a special holiday to justify going on a spontaneous date or showering your SO with sexy lingerie.

[–] chunes@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It's a fake holiday created by corporations to sell people things they don't need.

[–] klymilark@herbicide.fallcounty.omg.lol 6 points 2 days ago

Ehh, it's a Christian holiday that got commercialized to sell shit. Much like with Christmas (though that has roots in... Just about every religion that came before it, and early Christians didn't celebrate birthdays anyway). AFAIK Valentine's day is an original Christian holiday to commemorate St. Valentino.

[–] CaptainBasculin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 days ago

The only thing i consider are cheap chocolates shaped like hearts on stores right after it.

[–] Screen_Shatter@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Spent most of my 20s single and lonely. I typically would get fed up seeing all the ads and hearts and stuff, felt like it was getting rubbed in my face. Started using it as an excuse to go hang with my other single friends and grab some drinks for "anti-V day". We didnt really sit around and hate on it, just would hang out like any other night. All in all it was a great solution, it didnt solve me being single but it wasnt lonely and we would all have fun.

Eventually I met someone good for me. Been together awhile now, and the funny thing is Vday has less meaning than ever. We do things for each other throughout the year because we want to. Going out for a nice dinner on Valentine's actually sucks, so I usually just cook something decent and we chill on the couch. If we do decide to go out we do it two weeks before or after when its actually calm in a restaurant. Thats about it.

[–] SamB@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Me: what’s with all these dumbasses in line to buy flower? Ooohh….

[–] LordMayor@piefed.social 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

There are happily married people that don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s a Hallmark holiday—i.e. it was invented by a greeting card company. Its only meaning is the one you give it. Why give it the power to make you feel bad?

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 days ago

Maried for 12 years. Don't recognize the existence of valentines day.

It only has three purposes:

Corporations can pressure you into spending money you don't want to spend om stuff nobody wants to have.
Make lonely people feel sad and guilty about feeling lonely.
Justify the existence of "romcom" as a movie genre.

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 9 points 3 days ago

Im not sure what to think as ive never been in love or had friends, im only 20 and this it somewhat uncommon i think?

That's not uncommon. It's not good if you're not happy with your situation. Good luck and hope that gets better.

Valentines day is pushed in everyone's face because it's ultra-commercialised and there's money to be made. "Buy her diamonds this Valentines day"..... WTF. It's overhyped. People can celebrate as they like. People can ignore it as they please.

[–] Ascend910@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 days ago

The day is one which the bourgeois class used to capitalise on basic human emotions, I have no interest in it

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm single so I don't care. Maybe next time I won't be single and I will care.

[–] Bustedknuckles@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I'm married and I don't care. Good thing spouse doesn't either

[–] susi7802@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 days ago

What’s in a day? Eg Christmas is just another day, go for walk, enjoy yourself read a book.

[–] Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

ValentiNes
Use punctuation and capitalization if you want people to read your scrawl

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

ValentiNes

lmao when I was a kid, I used to think its Valen times like its someone name Valen that was deeply in love so this holiday was named after her because it's "her time" when she fell in love which is why its Valen's Time... Valentimes...

Use punctuation and capitalization of you want people to read your scrawl

👀🤣

[–] Steve 4 points 3 days ago

Wait... It is Valentine's Day!

[–] degenerate_neutron_matter@fedia.io 3 points 3 days ago

Felt kinda sad about it, but I feel sad most days so it's not really any different. Hung out with a friend which was nice.

[–] bricked@feddit.org 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Don't worry about it, this holiday isn't for everyone. I simply spent it with some singles I know. And tomorrow is the Singles Awareness Day for the rest of us :D

[–] whelk@retrolemmy.com 2 points 3 days ago

I'm just glad to see someone else spell it as "valentimes", highfive

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I'm ethnic Chinese and I dont think people in China dated in highschool and I think diasporas (especially kids of 1st gen parents) have some of same tendencies of "you better have good grades" so I don't think its exactly abnormal to not have a romantic relationship for someone like me. Like at least half of Asians I talked to did not have a romantic relationship.

So yea I never even attempted to have romance with anyone... tbf the urges were not even that high... idk why... might be partly asexual or something... Idk how to even masturbate...

As for friends... well idk if I ever had "friends" cuz I like never really hang out with people outside of school... so... yea its more like "acquaintances" in my view.

But after highschool was done its basically no contact at this point... thanks mom for not letting me have a phone for like the last 3/4 of highschool... (well tbf I broke my last one and they never wanted to replace it so... I guess its my fault sort of... 🙃)

My older brother doesn't ever have romance either, so yea I'm not alone in "being alone" lmfao, he's a racist shithead and socially awkward...

So my mom was afraid he'd "be alone for the rest of his life" so arranged via her networks of "friends of friends" for him to meet some girl in China... and he just got a 10 year visa to visit China lol... so yeah...

And yea I'm also Gen Z in early 20s

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 2 points 3 days ago

Didn't know that was today until I read this lol. No biggy to me. I'm just the kind of person that likes to be alone.

[–] disregardable@lemmy.zip 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You should probably seek out some therapy to learn to make friends, because at your age it will not happen unless you make it happen.

[–] Grumpy404@piefed.zip 3 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Ive actually tried therapy many times, but they gave me someone new every week pretty much, i had to stop when i got someone who kept asking chatgpt stuff to tell me.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago

That... doesn't sound like actual therapy. That sounds like someone trying to make money off of people by slapping a Therapy sticker on weird, corporate community hours. In my province, Therapists are licensed and have to have a related degree to practice, it's easier to do then becoming a psychologist, but you still have to go to school for it. You can't just call yourself a therapist and start talking to people about their problems, or asking a fucking chatbot about peoples problems... that's so awful and I'm sorry you experienced that.

[–] LordMayor@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago

That’s not a reason to stop trying. That’s unusually bad luck in therapists.