this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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[–] IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip 76 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Starfleets version of 'good cop, bad cop.'

SURRENDER?! I'LL MAKE YOU SURRENDER YOUR--

Captain, let's take a deep breath and do our count to five

Inhales deeply, exhales slowly You're right, diplomacy first..

The aliens on the screen have widened eyes and fearful expressions with whispers in the background, "he has to have a handler, this guy's nothing to fuck with."

[–] Zink@programming.dev 6 points 1 day ago

🎢 Jean-Luc P. Ain't Nothin' Ta Fuck Wit! 🎢

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago
[–] grue@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Obligatory reminder that Picard would be a LTJG astrophysics officer if he weren't such a hothead.

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Is that high up in the FedForce? A LTJG in the US Navy is pretty low.

[–] boeman@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

No, not high up at all. Just a step above an ensign

[–] grue@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Starfleet basically uses Navy ranks, so yeah, LTJG is very low. The idea of the episode I'm referencing (6x15 Tapestry) is that Picard would've fucked up his life if he hadn't taken risks.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

alien yelling at them

"He appears to be very angry, sir."

"Yes, I can see that counselor."

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

The writing they did for her character was criminal. I don't think she ever had a good story, let alone one where someone wasn't trying to SA her.

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (7 children)

My head cannon is now that Picard is an absolute psychopath but also a strategic genius, so they have a psychic assigned to him to bolster his humanity. Just holding him in reserve in case there is a scenario where they need the next ghengis khan to bring the galaxy to its knees

[–] DragonAce@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Why do you think he was such a threat as Locutus?

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

I just have this vision of a window looking over the SF bay, and a dude in a suit whispering into a communicator β€œCry havoc, and let slip the Picard of war”

[–] sness@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Tactical genius too. Invented his own combat maneuver that is supposedly unbeatable. Weird that nobody else seems to use it.

[–] albbi@piefed.ca 8 points 2 days ago

It was defeated by a tractor beam and shield strength focused on the only place the ship could fire at. But that's only because they knew it was coming.

[–] satanmat@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

YES!!!

The number of battles where it was not used throughout the series is mind boggling

Once! Could we have not seen it once?!!?

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Well if they ALL could use it, it wouldn’t be the Picard maneuver

[–] Klear@quokk.au 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

where they need the next ghengis khan to bring the galaxy to its knees

Or some other Khan

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Listen i love your head cannon, but I gotta ask as a casual fan, when did you get the idea hes a psycho? Ill admit im Picard biased because next gen was my first, and the way he pronounces the word "civilization ". But I did always think he was one of the calmer ST captains.

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

That’s the joke, Troy is using her psychic powers to keep him calm, that’s why she has a seat next to his in the bridge, to stop him from freaking out and shooting every ship he sees

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Enders game style.

I imagine a fantasy kingdom, that due to a civil war, they decided to have 2 kings, one from each side. they are tethered by death, when one dies the other is executed, they share palace and have to govern together, sharing equal power. and it often results on one of them being a violent warlord and the other a pacifist.

[–] SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip 3 points 2 days ago

But one thing is for sure, Picard has no head cannon.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Picard was straight up Commander Shepherd level back in the day. Bangin' and blastin'.

[–] Klear@quokk.au 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Picard.
Worf.
Picard.
Worf.
Picard.
Worf.
Picard.
Worf.

[–] Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Wait, if this is the shotgun seat, it would mean the federation adopted left-hand-traffic... 😯

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Only Picard. He's kinda a teaboo, hence the accent despite living outside LA.

[–] Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

New vocabulary dropped!
Teaboo... :-D

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is this okay to use for non teaboos?

[–] Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

But Picard is a Frenchman speaking with a British accent.
Following the definition, that sounds pretty teaboo to me ;-)

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If it was the other way around, he'd be an ouiboo.

[–] deacon@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I actually just got the pun just now, and realize my last comment probably seemed like a joke question.

I’m dumb.

Nope, legit question. Asking when not getting something is good practice.
You're good :-)

[–] ryper@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago

It's relative to Captain Picard, so it might just be France that adopted left-hand traffic. They got the English accent, they may have gotten their way of driving too.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And you don't think it has anything to do with her being a pseudo-psychic who's species in known for altering emotions on a mass scale, which she definitely doesn't do pinky promise?

Shes only half betazoid, i dont think she can change other beings emotions the way her mom can. (Luxwanna? Her moms name was something along those lines)

[–] X@piefed.world 9 points 2 days ago

β€œThis counselor, Counselor Troi? She just tells this Picard what he should really do… and he complies?! Truly the superior opponent, her capabilities are virtually limitless! Put us in direct contact immediately!”

[–] minorkeys@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Did Picard ever get counselling or just advice, as he did with all his senior staff? She wasn't Picard's therapist but the entire ship's counselor.

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 days ago

I'm sure he needed PTSD therapy after this incident.

[–] RamenJunkie@midwest.social 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

She is a Betazoid, can't she just sort of, constantly push calm vibes at him?

Shes half. I dont think she can.

[–] danekrae@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

"It's perfectly normal to cry 10 times a day."

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Whoa, Gerry Duggan! Forgot about him when I fell off Nerd Poker, but he's hilarious.