this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
1231 points (99.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

31311 readers
1127 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 179 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] forrgott@lemmy.zip 42 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Oh God damn you. Have your upvote and... you know the rest...

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 3 weeks ago

┬──┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago

GIT GUD & GIT OUT.

[–] eodur@piefed.social 106 points 3 weeks ago

I thought this was programmer humor, not programmer horror

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 94 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (5 children)

Another movie pitch:

Due to management decision, a code freeze has been mandated to the main branch. 50 feature branches have accumulated waiting to be merged.

Management has now finally approved to lift the code freeze - but only for 24 hours. Will the poor engineering team manage to merge all feature branches in time?

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 45 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Here's one for a TV show.

In 2022, a crack quality assurance team was made redundant by a CTO for a botched product launch they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximally unstable job market to the LinkedIn underground.

Today, still wanted by recruiters, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a broken codebase, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the QA-team.

[–] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 weeks ago

DO DODO DO DOO DOO. DO DODO DO DO

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

You are amazing, you beautiful lemmy stranger, you.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

I am ramping a vehicle onto its roof in celebration

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 17 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Is there a robust test suite?

Merge, test, merge, test, patch, merge, test

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago

Only some of the new code does. Unfortunately, most of the code base is 10 years old written in the good ol’ Anarchy Driven Programming paradigm.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 weeks ago

The test suite takes 24 hours to run fully.

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 5 points 3 weeks ago

If by test you mean wait for customers to yell at us, it's super robust

[–] grue@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

Merging all the feature branches in time is easy.

Having the project compile afterwards is hard.

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 5 points 3 weeks ago

Merge/test/fix on a separate branch and then merge this into main when the freeze lifts?

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 44 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
rm -rf *

git add -A
git commit -m "oops."

rm -rf .git
git init
git add .
git commit -m "bye."

git push origin main --force
[–] black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

rm-ing .git isn't gonna work cuz you'll have to re-add the remotes.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh good point 🤦

So maybe instead, we can clear all local + remote branches and tags, create a blank branch, delete main, rename the blank branch to main, then delete .git

Although the OP says that we can merge anything, and we might not have access to mess with branches

[–] ozymandias117@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Or just git push origin --force blank:main

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Live your best life. git pull blindly.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not sure about the git history wipe, I can't test it myself right now

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just test it on production, you could do it right now

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 weeks ago

Goodbye fedecan.ca

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Unironically I think this is my only shot at getting past our code debt.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 8 points 3 weeks ago

It didn't say anything about wiping previous debt

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Wdym you don't like waiting 3 weeks for a code owner to approve a 1 line change?

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

"Just an FYI, you can add multiple people to code owners"

- Me, every week to that one guy

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My question would be for what time zone? That seems like an important detail

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 3 weeks ago

Well my pull request simplified all time zones to just UTC +8:45 so we never have to worry about it again

[–] NotAnonymousAtAll@feddit.org 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So every sane dev will just sit that day out, do nothing and then once it has all blown over one of them will hard reset main to right before the silly time started. Sounds like a chill time, but not a good plot for a movie imo.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

IDK, that sounds like a fun twist to me

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 3 weeks ago

Sweet ninjesus, i'm having a heart attack just imagining it

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Every repo I can suddenly has a requirement for my $1k/license addon and won't run without it.

[–] nie@piefed.social 7 points 3 weeks ago

So the equivalente to not wanting to make part of it and staying at home is setting repositories private a few hours before and only reopening the day after?

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 weeks ago

https://www.openchaos.dev/#votes is kinda similar to, but weekly instead (voted for submissions that automatically get merged)

[–] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What does "all tech debt is legal" mean?

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That accumulation of a hundred years of tech debt during that 12h window is acceptable

[–] xylogx@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Good opportunity to introduce a Cobol subsystem.

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

This feels like it needs a 'Hunger Games' add-on.

[–] Shaker_dev@programming.dev 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I'm not understand , what it's mean

[–] dbx12@programming.dev 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's a meme referencing the movie "the purge" which legalizes all crimes during one specific night.

[–] nocteb@feddit.org 2 points 3 weeks ago

I'd rather morge continvously

I am taking the network down at the office on this day. I have accidentally done it before and now I know how to do it again.