this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 179 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] forrgott@lemmy.zip 42 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Oh God damn you. Have your upvote and... you know the rest...

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 months ago

┬──┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago

GIT GUD & GIT OUT.

[–] eodur@piefed.social 106 points 2 months ago

I thought this was programmer humor, not programmer horror

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 94 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Another movie pitch:

Due to management decision, a code freeze has been mandated to the main branch. 50 feature branches have accumulated waiting to be merged.

Management has now finally approved to lift the code freeze - but only for 24 hours. Will the poor engineering team manage to merge all feature branches in time?

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 45 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Here's one for a TV show.

In 2022, a crack quality assurance team was made redundant by a CTO for a botched product launch they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximally unstable job market to the LinkedIn underground.

Today, still wanted by recruiters, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a broken codebase, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the QA-team.

[–] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

DO DODO DO DOO DOO. DO DODO DO DO

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

You are amazing, you beautiful lemmy stranger, you.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I am ramping a vehicle onto its roof in celebration

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Is there a robust test suite?

Merge, test, merge, test, patch, merge, test

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

Only some of the new code does. Unfortunately, most of the code base is 10 years old written in the good ol’ Anarchy Driven Programming paradigm.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 months ago

The test suite takes 24 hours to run fully.

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 5 points 2 months ago

If by test you mean wait for customers to yell at us, it's super robust

[–] grue@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Merging all the feature branches in time is easy.

Having the project compile afterwards is hard.

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago

Merge/test/fix on a separate branch and then merge this into main when the freeze lifts?

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 44 points 2 months ago (2 children)
rm -rf *

git add -A
git commit -m "oops."

rm -rf .git
git init
git add .
git commit -m "bye."

git push origin main --force
[–] black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 2 months ago (1 children)

rm-ing .git isn't gonna work cuz you'll have to re-add the remotes.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh good point 🤦

So maybe instead, we can clear all local + remote branches and tags, create a blank branch, delete main, rename the blank branch to main, then delete .git

Although the OP says that we can merge anything, and we might not have access to mess with branches

[–] ozymandias117@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or just git push origin --force blank:main

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Live your best life. git pull blindly.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure about the git history wipe, I can't test it myself right now

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just test it on production, you could do it right now

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago

Goodbye fedecan.ca

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Unironically I think this is my only shot at getting past our code debt.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 8 points 2 months ago

It didn't say anything about wiping previous debt

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wdym you don't like waiting 3 weeks for a code owner to approve a 1 line change?

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Just an FYI, you can add multiple people to code owners"

- Me, every week to that one guy

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My question would be for what time zone? That seems like an important detail

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 2 months ago

Well my pull request simplified all time zones to just UTC +8:45 so we never have to worry about it again

[–] NotAnonymousAtAll@feddit.org 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So every sane dev will just sit that day out, do nothing and then once it has all blown over one of them will hard reset main to right before the silly time started. Sounds like a chill time, but not a good plot for a movie imo.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

IDK, that sounds like a fun twist to me

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 2 months ago

Sweet ninjesus, i'm having a heart attack just imagining it

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Every repo I can suddenly has a requirement for my $1k/license addon and won't run without it.

[–] nie@piefed.social 7 points 2 months ago

So the equivalente to not wanting to make part of it and staying at home is setting repositories private a few hours before and only reopening the day after?

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 months ago

https://www.openchaos.dev/#votes is kinda similar to, but weekly instead (voted for submissions that automatically get merged)

[–] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What does "all tech debt is legal" mean?

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That accumulation of a hundred years of tech debt during that 12h window is acceptable

[–] xylogx@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Good opportunity to introduce a Cobol subsystem.

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

This feels like it needs a 'Hunger Games' add-on.

[–] Shaker_dev@programming.dev 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I'm not understand , what it's mean

[–] dbx12@programming.dev 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's a meme referencing the movie "the purge" which legalizes all crimes during one specific night.

[–] nocteb@feddit.org 2 points 2 months ago

I'd rather morge continvously

I am taking the network down at the office on this day. I have accidentally done it before and now I know how to do it again.