this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 179 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] forrgott@lemmy.zip 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Oh God damn you. Have your upvote and... you know the rest...

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 month ago

┬──┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] 0_o7@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

GIT GUD & GIT OUT.

[–] eodur@piefed.social 106 points 1 month ago

I thought this was programmer humor, not programmer horror

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 94 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Another movie pitch:

Due to management decision, a code freeze has been mandated to the main branch. 50 feature branches have accumulated waiting to be merged.

Management has now finally approved to lift the code freeze - but only for 24 hours. Will the poor engineering team manage to merge all feature branches in time?

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Here's one for a TV show.

In 2022, a crack quality assurance team was made redundant by a CTO for a botched product launch they didn't commit.

These men promptly escaped from a maximally unstable job market to the LinkedIn underground.

Today, still wanted by recruiters, they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a broken codebase, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the QA-team.

[–] kboy101222@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

DO DODO DO DOO DOO. DO DODO DO DO

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

You are amazing, you beautiful lemmy stranger, you.

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I am ramping a vehicle onto its roof in celebration

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Is there a robust test suite?

Merge, test, merge, test, patch, merge, test

[–] red_tomato@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Only some of the new code does. Unfortunately, most of the code base is 10 years old written in the good ol’ Anarchy Driven Programming paradigm.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago

The test suite takes 24 hours to run fully.

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 5 points 1 month ago

If by test you mean wait for customers to yell at us, it's super robust

[–] grue@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Merging all the feature branches in time is easy.

Having the project compile afterwards is hard.

[–] BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk 5 points 1 month ago

Merge/test/fix on a separate branch and then merge this into main when the freeze lifts?

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 44 points 1 month ago (2 children)
rm -rf *

git add -A
git commit -m "oops."

rm -rf .git
git init
git add .
git commit -m "bye."

git push origin main --force
[–] black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

rm-ing .git isn't gonna work cuz you'll have to re-add the remotes.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh good point 🤦

So maybe instead, we can clear all local + remote branches and tags, create a blank branch, delete main, rename the blank branch to main, then delete .git

Although the OP says that we can merge anything, and we might not have access to mess with branches

[–] ozymandias117@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or just git push origin --force blank:main

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Live your best life. git pull blindly.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not sure about the git history wipe, I can't test it myself right now

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just test it on production, you could do it right now

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

Goodbye fedecan.ca

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Unironically I think this is my only shot at getting past our code debt.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 8 points 1 month ago

It didn't say anything about wiping previous debt

[–] Miaou@jlai.lu 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wdym you don't like waiting 3 weeks for a code owner to approve a 1 line change?

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Just an FYI, you can add multiple people to code owners"

- Me, every week to that one guy

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My question would be for what time zone? That seems like an important detail

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 1 month ago

Well my pull request simplified all time zones to just UTC +8:45 so we never have to worry about it again

[–] NotAnonymousAtAll@feddit.org 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So every sane dev will just sit that day out, do nothing and then once it has all blown over one of them will hard reset main to right before the silly time started. Sounds like a chill time, but not a good plot for a movie imo.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

IDK, that sounds like a fun twist to me

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 1 month ago

Sweet ninjesus, i'm having a heart attack just imagining it

[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Every repo I can suddenly has a requirement for my $1k/license addon and won't run without it.

[–] nie@piefed.social 7 points 1 month ago

So the equivalente to not wanting to make part of it and staying at home is setting repositories private a few hours before and only reopening the day after?

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago

https://www.openchaos.dev/#votes is kinda similar to, but weekly instead (voted for submissions that automatically get merged)

[–] InFerNo@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What does "all tech debt is legal" mean?

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That accumulation of a hundred years of tech debt during that 12h window is acceptable

[–] xylogx@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Good opportunity to introduce a Cobol subsystem.

[–] fubarx@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

This feels like it needs a 'Hunger Games' add-on.

[–] Shaker_dev@programming.dev 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm not understand , what it's mean

[–] dbx12@programming.dev 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's a meme referencing the movie "the purge" which legalizes all crimes during one specific night.

[–] nocteb@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago

I'd rather morge continvously

I am taking the network down at the office on this day. I have accidentally done it before and now I know how to do it again.