this post was submitted on 07 May 2026

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Lemmy Shitpost

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1089

chad (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 3 weeks ago by QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

119 comments fedilink hide all child comments

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[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 304 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Am I out of touch? No, it's all of society outside of my congregation that's wrong.

That isn't a joke, Christians are deliberately conditioned to believe this.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 103 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Well, it IS a joke. They're a joke.

Just not the funny kind.

[–] Little8Lost@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Happy cake day

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

WOOOOOO!!!!

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[–] rslogix89@lemmy.world 126 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 167 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

That's better.

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 48 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

[–] Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Rehance, Dehance, and drop out

[–] funkajunk@lemmy.world 30 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

moar.jpg

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 60 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

restored.jpg

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[–] chortle_tortle@mander.xyz 16 points 3 weeks ago

It is really a meme if it doesn't have boomer aspect ratio issues?

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[–] akwd169@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 weeks ago

Is one of the sins taking a screenshot of a meme to save it but then not cropping it to the right size?

Because jesus definitely does not think that is rad

[–] CandyPants@lemmy.ml 111 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Buy that kid a year of premium and toss him a joint.

Anyone else tired of the most hateful people you know lecturing you about whats moral?

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 24 points 3 weeks ago

Totally tired. And they're Mostly exactly into the very same thing, they so despise publicly. "The hub"...bet this douche uses it more than the Lil hero here.

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[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 100 points 3 weeks ago

Hell yeah brother. Represent.

[–] areakode@riskeratspizza.com 90 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Wait... Bro, you're punishing him... For doing the things that I do every day? Rock on, dude!

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 44 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

He died for your sins.

[–] areakode@riskeratspizza.com 15 points 3 weeks ago

And MY AXE!

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[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Get out there and stand on the corner with him. Before long, more people will join & soon you'll have a whole crowd of chronic pot-smoking masturbators gathered in solidarity & you can exchange contact info for future smoke & stroke gatherings.

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[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 62 points 3 weeks ago

From memory, I'd say it's pretty normal for a 14yo boy to be whacking off all the time.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 58 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Feed him a stew that makes him go blind for 1 day.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 18 points 3 weeks ago

1 day blind stew is the way to go, I can confirm.

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[–] BigDiction@lemmy.world 53 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I would 💯 give a honk and a 🤙 for the young lad. Lotta life left to live!

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[–] shiv@sh.itjust.works 48 points 3 weeks ago

I wish I had my shit together as much as this kid does at his age. He's got it figured out.

[–] bagsy@lemmy.world 46 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Make him smoke a whole carton of the reefers and watch every video on the 'Hub', that will show him.

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 74 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

[–] happy_wheels@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Can't believe I had to scroll down this far for this.

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a massage therapist and I'll never forget one particular client 2 years ago had a remarkably muscular right forearm, a twinkle in his eye, and the rest of his body was as muscular as jello.

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[–] Bluedragon012@lemmy.world 45 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

He is a little young to be doing weed, needs a conversation about its effects on younger minds. As for porn, time for proper sex Ed. no punishment needed, more education needed.

(to be clear the weed take is imo, not fact, do what's best for you)

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Oh, we don't do compassion and positive reinforcement around here.

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[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Now you make him smoke the whole pack of joints and watch all the porn.

[–] LookBehindYouNowAndThen@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

"Don't come out of your room until you finish your report on sounding and gaping."

[–] Hypnotoad_@sh.itjust.works 32 points 3 weeks ago

This kid will be alright

[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

An out of control child would not stand out there for 5 hours, he would choke you until you pass out and stop bothering him.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 41 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

"Out of control" means different things to christo-fascists.

To them, it means 'doesn't do exactly what I say at all times'.

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[–] Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

There it Is, random Capitalization IN The wild.

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[–] jeniferariza@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

That punishment turned into free advertising real fast.

[–] nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

OK, so from a parent/caretaker I get that smoking pot (at home) isn’t maybe a great idea to just let happen, but humiliating the kid in front of everyone is an absolute shitshow. Good thing the passers-by were quite a bit more understanding. And the tossing? As long as it’s not in grandma’s salad.. whatever.

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[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago

Living his best life.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 16 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Make him move rocks into a pile. If he hasn't learned his lesson yet, make him move them into a new pile.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

Not sure what to do

Have you tried not being lame and smoking pot while tossing off with him?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 35 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

If my mom masturbated next to me, that would probably have suppressed my sexdrive well into my 80s.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Ok but what avout your dad?

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[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

What a motherfucking G.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 13 points 3 weeks ago

I would have sprung for a professionally made sandwich board or spinny sign.

I really hope this guy got some high-fives for his trouble.

[–] Lanske@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

In other words: a totally normal kid

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Plot twist, he was watching auntie femdom porn, where the aunt punishes her nephew. This is his kink.

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