You can't make this stuff up. They originally wanted the fight on July 4th, but for unknown logistical reasons it had to be moved to Trumps birthday.
this post was submitted on 26 May 2026
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Ten bucks says there will be some kind of "assassination attempt" that will happen at this event.
Hopefully it's a success.
This reminds me of that scene in Django Unchained, where the rich white plantation owner makes poor people fight each other to death for entertainment
Boxing was like the next best thing, but at least now the fighters make bank.
Now I understand why Tim Heidecker retired his character Tim Heidecker.
I see Trump's plan to destroy the country while making us a laughingstock is going well.
I hate this timeline so fucking much.
This skidmark is such an embarrassment to the world and to the country.
So we need to build a billion dollar ballroom so the president can be safe during events, but also, fuck it, just put up a temporary structure and invite 5000 people to watch a ufc fight on the lawn?
They should call this "ow, my balls".
Gotta bring out the Dildozer!
What an unbecoming thing of the office of the president
He is such an embarrassment
No worse than LBJ’s demolition derby arena or Carter’s Tractor-Pull-a-Palooza, except for the fact that those are totally made up and never occurred because why the hell would they ever have???
I went to Jimmy Carter's Tactor-Pull-a-Palooza and all I got was this stupid shirt.
I went to Carter’s Pull-a-Palooza but I had to sell my peanut farm
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LBJ didn’t have to resort to tough guy tropes and ritualized masculinity displays to convince people he had the biggest dick in the room.
I mean he literally whipped it out in front of journalists and diplomats as a ritualistic display. Let’s not gloss over the shitty aspects of former presidents just to compare them to this president full of shitty aspects.
https://people.com/lyndon-b-johnson-nsfw-president-11830816
Things I learned from Red White and Royal Blue.
You’re telling me the guy that escalated the Vietnam War was a piece of shit?!?
The kind of guy that names his dick "Jumbo"
I don’t disagree with you in any way, however, I would pay more money than I’m willing to admit to watch a literal presidential dick measuring contest. I think we all know who would likely place last, but even if he didn’t, I would enjoy his reaction to losing for the rest of my days with great relish because he couldn’t possibly be first and that’s he would care about.
And I’m pretty much only able to confidently hope this because we all know that apparently LBJ had a hog, and I appreciates that about him, even though yeah fuck him for the war crimes.
His masculinity displays were very, very literal!
To be honest, neither of those sound nearly as tacky or gauche as this does to me, something about it being UFC/MMA or if it were boxing during it's peak or even pro wrestling make it this gross mix of gladiatorial combat, organized crime, and carny shit that really shouldn't be anywhere near the President. Its not wrong to enjoy any of those as entertainment even if someone is currently the President, hell I love pro wrestling when there good storylines and characters, I'm not what you would normally call a classy person. But this gives me a very particular 'ick' and I'm not quite sure how to describe it.
we are living the Idiocracy prequel
Kash Patel can’t not ever look like he just got pulled over while high.
Like he trusted the wrong fart!
We’ve all done that D:
True, But I manage to only make that face once or twice a week. My man needs to cut back on the Olestra.
Seinfeld is the worst part of Seinfeld. I always thought he was so annoying and was just constantly complaining. Like dude shut up and suck it up. Also, body positivity is a good thing, so yeah go stand on the wrong side of history, Jerry.
IMO Larry David made Seinfeld good in spite of Seinfeld.
I think that's the point. Jewish humour is usually self deprecating. Jerry was a miserable ass that made himself the butt of the joke
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What a fucking disgrace. The exact type of spectacle you'd expect from the magats. Obsessed with being alpha while simultaneously the biggest fucking losers you've ever seen.
This motherfucker....
Let's see his DUMB ass try and get into the ring without soiling himself or falling over
I had to check three times - this is not The Onion. This is real, and humor is dead.
Clown country
I actually thought this was an onion article at first glance, what the fuck
So embarrassing...
Travesty
🤞🤞
With every day that passes we lean harder into Idiocracy.
Maybe we can put exotic dancers in the East Room and swap out the Resolute Desk for a baccarat table
LOL, imagine Trump being sophisticated enough to play anything but a slot machine.
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