this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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[–] Tonava@sopuli.xyz 6 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

As an enby I have no fucking idea how to be gay. By liking men and women??? But then liking enbies just can't be straight, can it? What a conundrum. Good thing I'm aroace so I can just opt out

[–] DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml 5 points 15 hours ago

No matter who you pick, any relationship you're in would be at least a little bit gay. Alternatively, you can test hypothetical relationships for gayness using this model.

Being aroace makes it a lot easier - if you're never in a relationship, you are therefore never in a straight relationship, and therefore you are always gay. QED and all that.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Being gay is liking the same gender that you are, so liking other enbies would be gay in your case, I suppose.

[–] Tonava@sopuli.xyz 3 points 15 hours ago

I was trying to be funny but that'd probably be technically correct, yes

[–] orenj@leminal.space 5 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

oh, fun! any fellas wanna pretend to smooch eachother in the comments? mwa mwa mwwa

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

don't pretend

[–] LuminousLuddite@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago

Oh god oh fuck

[–] Maroon@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I am whatever to fuck this is:

I am whatever the fuck this is: "logistically difficult"

[–] mossy_@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

what do you mean "june", it's just june

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 2 points 15 hours ago

Sadly, emphasis and quotation use a similar tone in speech so people misuse quotation marks a lot, especially if bold/italics isn't available

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

is fapping to Jordan Jensen gay?

If you're a woman

[–] Tiger_Man_@szmer.info 20 points 1 day ago
[–] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 6 points 21 hours ago

Reject modernity embrace tradition: It ain't pride unless its a riot to remind the straights what liberty looks like

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

all terfs must be sacrificed to appease sappho

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 13 points 1 day ago

Glory to the roommate!

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 17 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I (privately) consider myself to be bi, even though I'm functionally straight, because i leave room for the possibility.

But, what happens when you get reported? 😬

[–] thefluffiest@feddit.nl 34 points 1 day ago

You will be judged by a jury of your queers

[–] birdwing@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You get sent to the Owl House realm and experience what joy it is to live in a queer friendly area

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

That sounds great! I really like queer spaces, even if i don't really fit in.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago

Honey if it don't fit, then you must use spit.

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I consider myself to be bi even though I'm functionally gay, so I feel kinship with you. You're in the clear!

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 day ago

You two average out each other's bi-ness

[–] N0tTr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

I’m functionally ace, but I have gay thoughts today, so I guess it’s my safe day. Sounds like the other days I just don’t have to follow the rule

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Damn, discriminating against people with depression.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I feel like this post is pressuring me into concluding my depression is actually dysphoria so I can continue interacting with the lovely people here. I mean, that's one way to get a nerdy girlfailure in my life...

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

one cure for male loneliness is to turn it into female loneliness 🤔

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 16 hours ago

Technically correct I suppose.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It did for me :3

[–] Jaycifer@piefed.social 2 points 18 hours ago

I often think of myself as a lesbian. hits blunt

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (3 children)
[–] anise@awful.systems 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

if you like them in a gay way yes

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I do like to hold hands

[–] SapphironZA@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Only if you have trouble acting lesbian.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 16 hours ago

I need more practice.

Any volunteers?

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago

If you're a woman/nonbinary, yes!!

[–] nightlily@leminal.space 4 points 1 day ago

In German it’s „Juni“ (pronounced you-nii) as in „you need to not be straight“

[–] Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well damn. I'll be a good citizen and go self-report myself, do i get a good plea deal this way?

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 16 hours ago

"do i get a good plea deal this way?"

Yeah, you can wiggle it down to a thorough spanking and being a house slave for a weekend.

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

sorry, you get to go to the gay gulags with the rest of your kind

...even though this is a joke, it still feels wrong to say 😖

[–] Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What is happening at the Gay gulags? Are we forced to mine Gaysapphium in the Homoerotic Mines?

[–] roserose56@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Pretends to talk and walk like a gay, gets caught anyways and it's forced gay loool.

[–] thiscat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i remember seeing a version on R%ddit that claims H#ts will be shot on sight

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 25 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Straights will be shot with HRT to make them gay.

[–] GreenCrunch@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh, of course - a shot gun!

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[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 day ago

This is the smartest conversion therapy

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