this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 48 comments
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[–] Gates9@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 hours ago
[–] Odo@lemmy.world 42 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Don't forget your earrings:

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

Please tell me that’s a cinnamon bun and not just missed spunk

[–] modus@lemmy.world 8 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

A wizard arrives precisely where he means to

[–] MasterNerd@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 hours ago

I thought some monster just came on a snail

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 62 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 35 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Ouch my ego. I thought girls enjoyed doing sex stuff.

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

Depends on the person. I've had partners that love getting hoses down like that, and others who would rather take it in the mouth than ever have it touch their skin.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 28 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

There’s sex stuff, and then there’s the sticky, fragrant, bitter, salty, hard to wash off remains of sex stuff.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 21 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Nah, its fine not to like cum. We all don't need to be cumsluts.

Tho, I am a personal enjoyer of the after effects of sex. Soak me in girl juice.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 11 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

I’m also very down for vaginal mucus, but semen is different for me (it’s the bitterness and the egg white consistency that makes cleaning up annoying). Do you like your own semen?

Edit: not to sound like nobody likes it. I know two men and one woman who fucking love semen. But everyone else I’ve talked about it with who comes into contact with it… plays up their enjoyment of it to be a good partner.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 11 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not gonna say I enjoy my own cum but i've certainly enjoyed scenes involving me swallowing my own cum. The cleanup aspect you just get used to it and the bitterness can be solved through diet.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

I'm not gonna say I enjoy my own cum but i've certainly enjoyed scenes involving me swallowing my own cum.

That’s about where most people I know who aren’t especially into semen are, myself included. Maybe I made it sound like a more negative opinion than it is. It’s just one of those things where the reality doesn’t live up to the fantasy for me, so I’ve got opposing desires for the semen deposit location (I’m sorry, this is a horrible way to describe it) based on arousal and pragmatism.

For what it’s worth, the ranking for me for most to least pragmatic goes: condom, mouth, body, vagina, hair. For arousal, it depends on the situation, but hair is also always last, lol.

Finally, I’m autistic and I don’t think this is the exact same metric allistic people would use (and they might be less bothered by the feeling of semen leaking out of them), so take this with a grain of salt.

[–] teslekova@sh.itjust.works 1 points 38 minutes ago

Allistic people: onion people?!!?

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Oh, you don't like the feeling of cum in you? Yeah, that ones been outside the norm at least for me.

On my relationships we basically had the same kind of scale, we'd try it all but once we found what we liked we'd stick with it most of the time. Tho, I do have a clear oral fixation either in giving or enjoying, so mouth is pretty high up that list for me.

All in all, I personally appreciated this discussion, as it's fairly rare to discuss these things with someone other than your current partner.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

I like it inside me, unfortunately it always stays there until the worst possible moment and then comes out all at once. If I’m at home and not doing anything, that’s fine, but it’s pretty unpleasant for a morning quickie before work.

But yeah, thank you as well! It’s good to talk about stuff like this with people who aren’t partners.

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 5 points 18 hours ago (2 children)
[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 13 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

THIS IS NO TIME FOR PIZZA!!

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 4 points 17 hours ago

If I can combine sex and pizza I will.

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

Oh hell yeah! Pineapple juice becomes water to me whenever i'm on a relationship.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 2 points 18 hours ago

I'll clean up after myself, if you catch my drift.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 55 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

It looks kinda nice. I mean, if it didn't immediately make you think of squirting semen on someone's chest.

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Make them red and it would look pretty rad

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 12 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

That would be for the goth crowd. Or emos, but I don't think they're still around.

[–] Hazel@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 14 hours ago

I see Gen Z emos sometimes. Not nearly with the same frequency as millennials back in the day, but emo is still around. Always makes me feel strangely proud of them for some reason 😅

We lurk in the shadows and wait for the trend to be popular again.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 18 points 20 hours ago

Agreed, without the context this would kick ass. This is why we can't have nice things.

[–] fenrasulfr@lemmy.world 13 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

It would have worked if it was blood red.

[–] pammyfromthesticks@mander.xyz 6 points 20 hours ago

It kinda looks cummy it not just the shape....

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 13 points 21 hours ago

/c/theyknew

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

"We need to be saving money, not buying dogs and members of the Grateful Dead!"

"Hey, man, you told us how you got Mary Jane a pearl necklace."

"...You entirely missed the point of that story."

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

I have missed this somehow and I have a small musical project that's grateful dead music on instruments and in styles that are completely inappropriate for grateful dead music. Like dixieland jazz. And church music. What movie?

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 13 points 22 hours ago

Stolen valor 😑

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 4 points 18 hours ago

When AI gets confused by sex terms.

[–] Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 14 hours ago

You just can't make this shit up 🤣🤣

[–] Eternal192@anarchist.nexus 6 points 20 hours ago

Design by Mia Khalifa jewelry?

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

I'm gonna be rich

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world -5 points 12 hours ago

That’s cum your girlfriends a whore

[–] Velypso@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago

AI bullshit.

Completely fake.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Reminds me of the Liz Truss Day Collar

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)
[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago

Sounds like he had a wank on a head of lettuce