this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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So, in the last few years I've read a lot of posts on reddit that some men won't wash their ass because "it's gay".

Can't we just troll these guys into believing that it's gay to brush your teeth aswell? I mean, the motion you make with your hand resembles that of a blow job.

It would not only be hilarious, it would also warn women ahead of time that the guy with bad breath probably don't wash his ass and is a homophobe.

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[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 86 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I use my toothbrush on my asshole because I’m double not gay.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yes, but then do you also brush your teeth with it? That's the ultimate not-gay test

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Do I look like a guy who can afford two toothbrushes?

[–] Blubber28@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

That's not what they were implying, dear CumFart

[–] Dookieman12@piefed.social 61 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Brushing your teeth is super gay. It's taking a long object, basically a dildo, and shoving it in mouth while you suck on it.

Then you let the toothpaste fall out of your mouth like a fat wad of cum and finally spit it all out into the sink like the dirty used hole that you are.

Combine that with the choking sounds, gagging, and hand motions, it's a three-minute ritual of gobbling the ceremonial cock, and for what? Breath that smells nice for our boyfriends?

Miss me with that gay shit. My mouth smells the way it should; like rotten meat and moth balls, because I'm a REAL man and REAL men don't need no sissy goop in their cock holster every morning.

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 40 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

...and finally spit it all out into the sink...

Speak for yourself. I swallow like a good boy.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago

Hey there, you busy later?~

[–] Echinoderm@aussie.zone 59 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also that straight men sit down to pee. Otherwise they have to hold a penis, and there's nothing gayer than that.

[–] wador@lemmy.zip 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think it's also pretty gay to have sex with women. I mean, they are cute, clean, soft and doesnt have all that ass and back hair.

It's more masculine to fuck some hairy beast. I mean, it's pretty darn masculine to try to fuck a silver back gorilla.

[–] insomniac199@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

it's also pretty gay to have sex with women.

Yeah Andrew Tate literally said that iirc

[–] orenj@leminal.space 25 points 2 weeks ago

...Somehow, i don't think you need to do anything at all to achieve your goal. That kind of guy definitely doesn't brush his teeth either.

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Just release some fake research about how vitamin C estrogenizes you.

[–] wador@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah! So they all get scurvy.

[–] BlaestEgnen@feddit.dk 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Given the health benefits brushing your teeth applies to your entire body, it's an awful bad idea.

At the end of the day, when a person has to go to the hospital for a complicated procedure due to bad oral hygiene. The cost falls back on the entire society, even in the case of selfpaid hospitals - The capacity is strained a bit further, to help a preventable situation

[–] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Real men don't go to the doctor!

(This is an actual problem, unfortunately.)

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

This is a problem. I did this. Every dude I know has done this. Not because I'm a "real man" but because I'm lazy and was young so didn't think I needed to go.

Had a health scare a few years ago now I have regularly scheduled dentist appoiments and physicals. No more screwing around.

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I heard about one of these guys who got an infection because of this. He was 2 degrees removed from me so not some random internet story.

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

His body was penetrated by bacteria, that's pretty gay ngl

[–] Salvo@aussie.zone 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If wiping my arse is gay, I don’t wanna be straight!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

If men wiping their ass is gay, I'm so glad I'm not straight

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Being clean is gay. Unless you're into musk. Which is why I don't bathe when I'm planning to do gay shit.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

But who in their right mind would be into a billionaire??

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

It would have to be a very small number of men though because believing that is so fucking stupid

[–] spazzman6156@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You must not live in the US

[–] Rothe@piefed.social 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Technically correct, but you're missing the point. If they did, the level of stupidity would make sense. Nearly half of us seem to be cool with the way things are going on a national level right now. And that's fucking "brushing your teeth and washing your ass is gay, and gay = bad" level of stupid.

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I don't 🤣

[–] Dookieman12@piefed.social 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So is believing in flat earth, and yet...

[–] OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Those woke dentist scolds keep telling me to brush my teeth and stop gargling sand every night.

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

At this point "gay" is a compliment to me, ngl.

[–] ComradePenguin@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago

Theres nothing more masculine and heterosexual than two bros having sex. Having sex with women is feminine and thus gay.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Jerking Off? Gay. Wiping your ass? Gay. Sex with a woman? Believe it or not Gay.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

paying too much for a sweater...gay.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 6 points 2 weeks ago

It’s also another excuse for the lack of sexual partners in their lives. They’ll love it.

[–] mhague@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Teeth are for fairies. Why are you brushing your teeth, are you fey?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I once met a gay dentist. Obviously brushing teeth is gay

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ah yes, homophobia and a literally shitty ass.

Two qualities women find immensely attractive. Makes perfect sense.

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[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've heard this said a lot, but I've yet to see any evidence that anyone believes it and it's not just an exaggeration/troll.

I'm having a little trouble believing even the manosphere is genuinely that deranged.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If you'll believe the anecdotes, plenty of women have confirmed their husbands do this.

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I had a gf near in tears when she didn't find skid marks in my boxers.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm hoping they're happy tears. Otherwise I have more questions...

[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Yes happy tears.

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