So what the fuck do we need CBS for again?
this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
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MODERATORS
Colbert?
Hey, let's get Stephen to do the live fact-checking!
Have two mods. Late Night Steven and Colbert Report Steven.
Fair and Unbalanced
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He did a live show after the Trump-Harris debate. Perhaps he’ll do another!
Yep, he's planning on doing a live show right after the VP debate. He announced it on a recent episode.
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If CBS suddenly disappeared, Colbert could go anywhere he wants I bet.
No bet. Colbert would be juuuuust fine.
Heaven forbid journalists do... you know, their jobs?
We Report, You Decide
We report what we want you to decide
Vance isn’t Trump. He’s a wet noodle who can barely work his way through a sentence. Walz is an adorable teddy bear with claws.
It’ll be the cutest bloodbath we’ve ever seen, and we’ll all laugh about how the old guy from Minnesota made the dude wearing eyeliner get scared of giving trans school kids free lunches.
Edit: I can’t wait!
He's ok with pushing outright lies, and it's hard to keep up with all the right wing lies that are floating around. I hope Walz just starts calling them the liars they are instead of avoiding 'name calling'.
Vance isn’t much of a public speaker, and, up against a debate opponent like Walz (who is a great public speaker), Vance is pretty much fucked. He won’t have much of a defense but to pivot when confronted, and Walz is both clever and persistent. He’s also extremely charming, which Vance extremely isn’t, lol.
You’re making me look forward to it. Kinda. Let’s say I’m looking forward to the instant replays by the Daily Show.
Well, it’ll probably be more policy-focused than anything with Trump, which is always just a clown show because Trump only knows how to be a clown. Vance will, at least, try to debate Walz, but it will quickly just be a timed trading of canned campaign jabs. How each plays it will be interesting to see, and - personally - I think it will be fascinating for 3 reasons:
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again, Vance’s relative terribleness vs Walz’s very goodness will be awesome to watch. Walz will kick Vance’s ass easily
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more than that, this debate will be far more substantive than the last debate, which was, basically, Kamala baiting Trump into crazy-shouting one crazy lie after another while Kamala just laughed and laughed.
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Tim Walz is, quite possibly, the most lovable guy to ever exist. JD Vance is, quite possibly, a new form of venerial disease.
Vance is like a Dollar Store version of Trump. He looks like the same product, he tells the same lies, but the parts aren't all there. He's a grifter but he's not in the same league as The Donald, he even looks like he's in pain when he lies.
The fucked up part is that, since you can’t get cheaper than Trump, the knockoff is actually more expensive. Worse, Vance is also (somehow), dumber, poorer, less-popular, and more insecure. He’s also - unbelievably- worse with interactions with the public and with public speaking.
And we’re about to find out how bad he is at debate against a real politician.
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Extremists (hint: not Tim Walz) will be able to just spout lies the whole time, and rational, honest candidates: (hint: not JD Vance) will have to either let them get away with complete bullshit assertions, or spend part of their time doing the job of the moderators... This is why no one believes in Journalism these days...
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Fucking cowards. We saw how quickly fascists crumble when you fact check them. Why won’t CBS want to do that?
Because they want to help the fascist.
Something about ten dudes at a diner table with an eleventh who is a nazi.
Bunch of weak ass bullshit.
Ya this is a dumb move by CBS because it compromises the legitimacy of the debate... But I know Tim Walz is going to wipe the floor with this couch fucker.
It compromises the legitimacy of CBS. How can they be okay with blatant lies being aspired on its network?
*CBS is announcing that it will allow the Couchfucker to Gish Gallop.
Fixed that title for you.
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CBS is owned by Paramount Global who splits their "donations" between parties (heavier toward Democrats). Are we tired of being governed by corporations, yet?
"We just want the money, leave us the fuck out of this. We're a news corporation. What did you expect, integrity? Ha!"
-CBS
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Waltz: Vance I heard you fuck couches for fun.
Vance: NO I DON'T
Waltz: That's not proof. If you're gonna fact check me you gotta provide proof! Clearly you fucked couches!
Walz would be way more subtle than that.
hey. So glad you got off the damn couch.
And
Oh. Meant to ask you. How was the tour of Ashley Furniture? Find any attractive couches?
Edit:
didja get any good recipes from RFK?
So Walz will try to find the lies and Vance will claim everything is a lie since they can't stop him?
Yeah, this system makes no sense. How are they supposed to fact check each other?
"That's a lie." "Not uh."
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Oh sure, tell the guy who basically said "We'll make up whatever facts we need to to get our point across!" when the whole pet eating debacle was debunked that he won't be fact checked... What could go wrong!?
Facts? Integrity? What the hell are you talking about? We need a ratings bump.
CBS executives, probably.
Anyway Walz is gonna eat Vance's face for dinner and then shit down his throat hole. I look forward to catching the highlights reel online.
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Those were some of the best moments though! When the Linsey Davis (moderator) deadpan said, “There is no state in this country where it is legal to kill a baby after it’s born." I fell off my couch laughing at Trump. He didn't know what to do, he was like a fish out of water.
I guess the GOP made it a deal breaker for the VP debate.
Awww the moderator’s hurt poor Donnie’s fee fees during the last debate.
Would they really have the time to fact-check the gish-gallop Vance will ejaculate on them? That's just not even feasible to get through the more egregious lies. He already said he just makes shit up. This will be the largest public face-time he will ever have (hopefully) and it all but guarantees he will shamelessly dial the horseshit up, if not just for sound bites.
And yeah, I decided to use that word.
Walz should just bring a fucking airhorn
So CBS news has zero integrity.
Walz should quote Vance's statement about making things up and make the point that he will not be fact checking someone who is on record stating they will lie. Even make the minguistic point that while Vance said he'd "make stuff up" there is another word for that: "lie".
"So since my opponent has alresdy admitted they lie to reporters and about the price of eggs, I ask that the viewers tonight know that we can't trust anything he says is true. He has no credibility."
Oh, so we're playing street ball now.
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