this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
172 points (98.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27240 readers
3176 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.ca 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

you wont be alone everyone finds a lifelong partner.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 6 days ago

Calling that advice is like the opposite of a modern fortune cookie.

[–] MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

Don't talk to strangers on the internet

[–] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

Circa 2012 my boomer parents had me job hunting in person AND hand-writing the cover letters. It got me two jobs so maybe it wasn't the worst advice, but i would spend every day driving around and penning half a dozen letters for employers that, a lot of the time, weren't even hiring.

Anyway, that (12 years ago) was the last job hunt i've ever done, it's been nothing but networking and freelancing ever since

[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 194 points 1 week ago (14 children)

My grandpa told me "always call your boss sir, and respond "yes sir", youll be promoted real quick."

First day at my first job my boss tells me "by the way you don't need to call me sir, just Brian"

Its actually insane that the world that boomers lived in was that simple.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 81 points 1 week ago (15 children)

Dutch has a formal and informal 2nd person word (think "you" vs "thou").

I have an intern who will not stop using the formal version, and it feels super awkward. I keep telling her to stop it, but she said she always uses with older people...

She's 23, I'm mid 30s. Ouch.

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 57 points 1 week ago (2 children)

“You need to keep phoning and sending letters to employers, they’ll give you a job eventually”.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (12 replies)
[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 179 points 1 week ago (11 children)

"Find a job doing what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life."

I used to love software. Then all the Lumberghs took over.

[–] Lauchs@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How're your TPS reports coming along?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (10 replies)
[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 130 points 1 week ago (12 children)

Happy wife, happy life. Marriage is about compromise and sometimes I want to be happy too.

[–] MajorMajormajormajor@lemmy.ca 103 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Happy spouse happy house is a better version. Both people should be happy.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (11 replies)
[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 120 points 1 week ago (4 children)

If you're a quiet dedicated employee your value will be recognized and rewarded.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 95 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Working hard will get you far.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 94 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Something along the lines of "don't ever go to bed angry at each other." Like, yeah, you should try to work it out, but if you fucked up real bad, don't push it. Sleep on the couch.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] Rednax@lemmy.world 81 points 1 week ago (7 children)

"Fully empty your battery before charging it up again, it increases the lifespan of the battery."

This was true before lithium-ion batteries became the norm. But for lithium-ion batteries, the opposite holds.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Araithya@lemmy.world 67 points 1 week ago (5 children)

“If you love something set it free, if it comes back it’s meant to be.” Nearly cost me the best relationship of my life because I was a dumb, impressionable kid that believed in wise sounding words. If you love something, hold on to it. Work for it. Don’t let it go just to “see if it comes back”.

Same could probably be said for just about any seemingly wise sounding sayings.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 65 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Go to a four year college so you can get the best jobs.

[–] exasperation@lemm.ee 57 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Nah, that advice is still correct. The 4-year degree provides a huge benefit over not having it.

It's just that a lot of people don't realize just how much shittier not having a degree in 2024 is compared to not having a degree in 1974.

So while the baseline has gotten worse, and the actual benefit of college has shrunk, it's still easily worth the 4 year commitment and the tuition/opportunity cost.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Lightor@lemmy.world 60 points 1 week ago

My parents separated when I was really young, roughly 5 yrs old. As I grew up and had visitation with my dad he always drilled into me "women just want a man who can provide for them, in the end they all just want money." Being young and obviously not knowing how crazy my dad was yet, I believed him for a long time.

Turns out when you treat people like they just want you for your money, that's the only kind of people who will put up with you. Kinda self fulfilling. Found a nice lady now, happily married and caring about each other, not just money.

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 54 points 1 week ago (129 children)

Ages like milk...

Drink a full glass of milk at every meal. Otherwise, your bones will turn to pudding and you'll get kidnapped at the mall because you'll be too soft to put up a fight. Or whatever scare scenarios Big Milk pushed in the US in the 80s and 90s.

Now everyone's drinking nut and oat milk because of health reasons and also drinking the milk of another mammal is kinda weird.

load more comments (129 replies)
[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 46 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Find what you love, and then figure out how to make money on it.

It worked for me, but not my spouse. Sometimes you just need to find something you're happy enough doing to make the income.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Pyrin@kbin.melroy.org 43 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Any dumb and vaguely open-ended advice. Like "just be yourself".

What if you're improving yourself because the real you sucked? Do you just give that all up and return to what you were? Whoever first said that piece of advice, obviously didn't think it through enough.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago (10 children)

Effectively ALL of what I was told about what makes a satisfying and successful life. I was told the right thing to do is work hard, go to school, get a good stable job, get married, settle down, have kids, buy a house, own several depreciating assets.

Life is about being happy. Nothing else. Do what makes you happy, because that car, vacation, or other piece of consumer shit won't. Nor will living by scripts somebody else wrote for you.

I had my house paid off at 30 and was traveling 5-6 times a year. High-level in the gaming, lottery and promotions industries. Misery. Now I have a humble life and I paint and craft things and I go dancing. And I'm happy. I could pick up the tools again and make a highly successful Steam game, but I won't. I already proved my point in my career and creative output, and I don't want to anymore.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 6 days ago

One of the things I’ve learned from my favorite psychology professor is that paying attention to my conscience, doing what my gut tells me is the right thing to do, is the most effective treatment for depression I’ve ever found.

I used to be enamored of basically financial success and exploration. Now I most highly value the lack of things nagging at my conscience.

I’m pretty poor, but I’m happy.

I used to make a lot more money making software. During that time, I kept maybe 25% of the promises I made to people professionally. I would very often say “This’ll be done in three weeks” knowing I’d have a better chance of landing this or that contract, also knowing the three weeks was extremely optimistic.

I did that all the time. Very bad character in retrospect. No wonder I was anxious and depressed. Always feeling like some kind of hunted animal. Somehow, I thought of myself as a good person because I lied to myself.

Now I do work where I keep approximately 97% of my promises (I track this). I make less money. Honestly the work I do is easy. But the payoff in terms of my serotonin and dopamine levels is huge. I feel solid. I rarely have trouble getting started with my day.

I’m hoping to take on slightly harder, slightly more meaningful work. But now that I have a taste of being reliable, I never want to go back.

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›