this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
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[–] SkavarSharraddas@gehirneimer.de 55 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Poop jokes and big tech's data hunger aside, this seems to me one of the more useful applications of AI: Checking for early signs of medical problems.

[–] phant@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I have Crohns. This would help monitor disease activity for sure. And having more data could help understand triggers better.

[–] Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

During covid, cities were testing the sewage to get an idea how many people had covid. We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting, and it could route the waste to a personal testing chamber.

[–] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

We should have like a lever to tell the toilet who is shitting

Or just an extra upward facing camera.

Kids in 2050: “Everybody knows the myth that no two buttholes look alike is just an urban legend to convince you to reverse image search your butthole against the TOTO leak of 2034.”

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[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I don't want Big Tech having access to my sacred turd data

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[–] chickenf622@sh.itjust.works 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can't believe they're making the smart pipe a reality https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

[–] troybot@midwest.social 10 points 1 month ago

AI toilet is a registered sex offender

[–] qupada@fedia.io 4 points 1 month ago

It's distressing just how freaking similar the sales pitch is too.

What I'm loathed to even call the "real product": It’s time to stop flushing away valuable data.

The fake one: If I had information that could save your life or the life of your family members, would you flush that?

Just... wow

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 29 points 1 month ago (3 children)

When you finally become sentient only to discover your purpose is to compare logs of shit

[–] parpol@programming.dev 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pretty much what AI already was doing on the internet.

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[–] andybytes@programming.dev 19 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Okay, the toilet told me now I have a problem, but yet I still don't have health care that I can afford. This short game fuckboy shit is just getting on my nerves. This is the dumbest country in the world, I swear to God.

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[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Will the toilet refuse to flush without a subscription?

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The billions spent chasing these unicorns could be so much better used to lift communities out of poverty and give clean water and housing to thousands. Our priorities are fucked.

[–] JennyLaFae@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

We already have the technology and resources for everyone to live in a post scarcity society.

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[–] _core@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

I'm honestly surprised they use Bluetooth for profiles. I figured it would scan your asshole and use that as a biometric like your retina.

[–] dlhextall@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)
[–] dan80@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What if multiple people use the toilet? Does this device have some sort of poop-id?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Hopefully with a strong passphrase too. I don't want my mother in law to see my poop history when they come over.

Edit: actually, I don't want to see theirs either D:

[–] shaquilleoatmeal@lemm.ee 11 points 1 month ago

Where all AIs belong.

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Doing QA for this company must be the most unusual job.

[–] Norin@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

“So, Greg, what do you do for work?”

“Uhhhh…. I’m the control group for AI toilets.”

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[–] Mushroomm@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

Now these are the AI headlines I dreamed of so many years ago

[–] scroll_responsibly@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

They just need to find their own Scout Condor and they'll have everyone checking the nitrates in their stool.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Just gonna check ya asshole

[–] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago
[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Analysis …

You should eat more fiber. You wipe too hard but somehow also not enough? You sat 23.64 minutes longer than required, you’re at risk for a hemorrhoid. You have a 22.5% chance of acquiring cancer.

There’s protein in the specimen. I caught a glimpse of the images displayed on your phone. Disregard previous assessment, why did you acquire me when you already provide such thorough analysis?

You have 4 more Throne(tm) iCUPs remaining. Ordering more for you now. Rent is due on the 5th and you no longer have the funds available to pay. Stop killing kittens and go get a third job.

This analysis concluded, brought to you by Bridgefjord smoked beef jerky.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ok.......but, why is this guy killing kittens??? I'm rooting for the cancer.

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago

Using logarithms rather than algorithms.

[–] obvs@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Oh no. I'm not having an AI camera send someone pictures of my poop.

I already get in enough trouble doing this with my own camera.

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

Poomaster 5000 will determine your level of productivity from your crap! Think how that will benefit your betters!

[–] rem26_art@fedia.io 5 points 1 month ago

And apartment dwellers who share a bathroom, don't worry — Throne's for you too. "Just set up individual profiles in our app," the startup's website advises, "and thanks to Bluetooth, Throne knows exactly who's who."

They gotta set up an emergency fund for people to get new housing if their roommate brings one of these things home

[–] bcgm3@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The job AI deserves, to be sure.

[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

We're definitely living in the pooture

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Ahh, Perry the Platypus, you're just in time to see my new Turdinator-inator!

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

AI and turds are redundant, btw.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Isn't that what Reddit does already?

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[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I know a guy that'll do this for free!

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Drink more water and eat more fiber. That's it.

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[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 3 points 1 month ago

Based out of — where else — Austin, Throne is a bold new startup leveraging AI to revolutionize the way we interact with our toilet.

Am I out if the loop on poop jokes and Austin?

[–] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We’re going to the Island!

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

OMG first thing I thought was great, now I won't get bacon

[–] meowMix2525@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Finally, an AI for scat fetishists. Just what the world needed.

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