Shit, man. WHY did you have to bring this up...
this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Tip for anyone dealing with this: it's not just a sleep hygiene thing. You're thinking about all those things because you didn't give yourself space to think about any of it during the day. Try to just sit without looking at your phone all the time. Try to have silence when you'd normally listen to music or a podcast.
Basically, try being bored again. You'll find your mind will fill in with these thoughts and you'll have an easier time processing them when you don't have the pressure of needing to sleep.
"Don't want to be thinking about unpleasant stuff? The solution is to think about that unpleasant stuff!"
I'd rather be alone with a psycopath serial killer than alone with my thoughts.
You might want to seek professional help in that case.
They don't want to be alone with my thoughts either.
Shit, is this what meditation is all about?
Regardless, appreciate the tip. I definitely struggle to sit still and do nothing. Maybe I'll extend my daily walk to be longer and reserve half of it to be phone free.
I don't know, I've never done meditation. I don't think you have to overdo or overthink this. It's more about letting your brain have some moments of rest from stimulation. We're currently stimulated all the time. It's not healthy.
pscyhologists/doctors : Do nOt uSe yOuR PhOnE 2 YeArS BeFoRe yOu gO To sLeEp
That is true though, not illuminating your eyes with blue light makes slerp easier. It's not their fault you cant be alone with your thoughts.
I get the impression a big part is also just engagement, in a sense - social media is built to provide a constant stream of engaging content, keeping you hooked and anticipating the next thing.
Slowing down and doing something that isn't so endlessly exciting might help, like watching a bit of a documentary, or reading a book (one that doesn't however captivate you too much) seems like a decent idea, much better than doomscrolling or watching short form videos one after another.
Anecdotally, but I'm glad we have phones now. I'd stare at the ceiling for 1+ hours sometimes before I had a phone and couldn't sleep. Now I can get to watch something to mellow off at least.
yeah i mellow off all the time before sleep too.
I switch to one of the numerous Wikipedia pages I seem to perpetually have open. I put the browser on a dark "reader" mode and read until I find myself unable to follow along, which is a signal that my brain's ready to sleep. If I end up staying awake for a while, it's not because of the phone keeping me up - it's because my brain simply isn't ready to sleep yet.
In fact, if I don't have quiet time to read alone on my phone just before I fall asleep, it can make falling asleep even harder. The topic of the page gives me something to think about and redirect myself toward if my brain tries to wander. It's not a perfect solution, but it helps often enough. This is especially true if I'm traveling. My brain's more alert in unfamiliar places, and the farther I deviate from my typical routine, the harder it is to fall asleep. Sometimes those few minutes of reading are the only consistent thing day-to-day, and it's a time I look forward to. It wouldn't help me to take that away.
Smoke weed and listen to D&D podcasts on headband headphones. I sleep better than I ever have before.
You and the meditation guy are the two wolves inside me
Meditation is how you learn to break this cycle
A lot of the normal sleep hygiene stuff usually results in worse sleep for me.
I need to be reading something not especially interesting and keep going until I feel like I'm about to fall asleep, then put my phone on the side table and try to catch that wave.
TV on whilst I'm trying to fall asleep is even better (I don't have the step where I need to put my phone down) but it keeps my partner awake so I don't get to use that option very often.
If I don't have anything to occupy my mind, it freewheels at high speed and ultimately ends up keeping me awake.
I don't care for Horror, so in turn it is the perfect medium for going to sleep.
https://rustyquill.com/show/the-magnus-archives/
https://youtube.com/@theexploringseries
Beats that AI drivel these days. Further recommendations welcome...
This right here
was my drug-free go to sleep solution for a few months. Just barely interesting enough to want to read it, but also tedious enough that I'd get maybe a page or two in before I'd be nodding off.
That's an interesting idea. What do you read in general?
I usually read sci-fi / fantasy, but I've come to recognize that certain authors are dense, and Tolkien is one of them. Trying to read too much of Tolkien at once is like trying to eat too much rich food; you've got to take a break from time to time. All the annotations in the above book make the text even more dense, but it's still interesting stuff, like the mythological origins of Gandalf, or the tiny changes Tolkien made from early editions of the book. So I want to read this, it's not like I'm forcing myself to read some godawful textbook, but I think when I'm reading it at night, my brain gets to a point where it just goes "Ah fuck it," and I start to nod off.
Also pretty good for this: Isaac Asimov, or Barbara Tuchman's The Guns of August.
Sometimes I'll find a longform article, but those can be a bit too engaging sometimes.
I have a lot of success with reading about a topic on something like Wikipedia where if I get to the end of a page and want to continue reading, there's loads of links to follow to related stuff.
Oh snap, you're me! I just wrote about having the same routine!
As to "sleep hygiene" stuff, I find that a lot of well-intentioned tools and advice simply don't work for me. That's why I value hearing what creative solutions the fellow members of my neurotribe come up with. It's also validating to find that others ended up organically following the same routines as I do.
For me it's mostly the never ending creep of time. My kids growing older, my career opportunities waning, my body degrading, my hair greying. I never used to lie awake at night, but now I do.
Looks like someone may need some help learning how to manage unhelpful thoughts
No, just distract yourself! It reminds me of the joke Louis CK would tell about folks texting and driving at red lights. Like they can't just be alone with their thoughts for two seconds, they neeeed to distract themselves before they hear their own voice. I think there's some value in just letting it all out in your head sometimes, and maybe figuring out where to put it all.
🙋🏼♂️
Absolutely none of the therapy techniques were truly effective for me until I was on the right medication. I’m not saying this is the case for you, but if you have honestly been struggling with everything you’ve tried, that’s not you not being good enough or trying hard enough. It’s just a sign you might need meds on top of it.
Joke answer: don't have them then.
Serious answer: cognitive behavior therapy has helped me with unwanted thoughts, but a lot of people seem to do well with mindfulness/meditation.
From CBT and what I can gather from meditation, it's not about stopping the thoughts but addressing them and then moving on, not ruminating on them.
Unironically I've been feeling quite a bit better after putting my phone in another room as I sleep. I think it now makes the bedroom a place where my brain feels it can take a break from the horrors of the world.
The artist forgot the constant BEEEEEEEEEEP in your ears. Or multiple beeps.