this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 205 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Just when I'm about to retire, Medicare will only cover chiropractors and horse paste.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 72 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"You appear sickly. It's because one of your humors are imbalanced. Have some bleach in your veins and get some fresh air to reduce the miasma."

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Have you tried suntanning your asshole?

[–] SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

Only if I can help Gwyneth Paltrow steam-clean her Gua Chakra.

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[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Aaaand thoughts and prayers!

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 2 weeks ago

gotta have some tots and pears!

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[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 178 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Kennedy is a germ-theory denier who believes people can maintain their health not by relying on evidence-based medicine, such as vaccines, but by clean living and eating

I fucking hate this timeline

[–] TimLovesTech@badatbeing.social 91 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Clean eating, like park bear and whale carcasses!

Don't forget to bathe in raw sewage.

[–] tonytins@pawb.social 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No wonder he got that brainworm.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He used to pop the eye balls out of birds heads and eat them raw

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
  1. fucking why?
  2. how did you learn this abomination?
[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 13 points 2 weeks ago

He's a sick bastard.

There's a three part Behind the Bastards on him that covers his childhood, young adult, and current craziness. I found part two the most interesting.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

You know I'm part of a club where we try to eat one of everything to maintain our dominant position in the food chain, but he makes us look like freaks. And not the fun kind of freaks.

[–] Trimatrix@lemmy.world 45 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Even if he believed that, why isn’t he calling for more regulation oversight for the FDA and stringent quality controls on the food production supply chain as a whole?

[–] TimLovesTech@badatbeing.social 31 points 2 weeks ago

Because like everyone in Trump's government, he is there to gut, cripple, and undermine the public's trust in our institutions.

[–] vividspecter@aussie.zone 23 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Clean living in his view just means focusing on "natural" things. Which means swimming and drinking shit water is safe, but anything "artificial" is dangerous. So he's certainly not going to care about pathogens in the food supply, because he doesn't believe they are dangerous.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 13 points 2 weeks ago

he in fact believes pathogens in the food supply are necessary to build your immune system

[–] limer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago

I wait for the new FDA “preferred partners” program

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This is all going to be covered by a snarky longform YouTube (or equivalent) documentary in 200 years.

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 22 points 2 weeks ago

"Why do we live in an underground bunker - 21st history channel"

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[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Must be why he looks like he has a bad liver or too much colloidal silver, like some dumb smurf-hillbilly Hoosier

[–] compostgoblin@lemmy.blahaj.zone 114 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t Nature and its subject-specific varieties considered some of the most reputable and prestigious scientific publications?

[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 90 points 2 weeks ago (19 children)

Yeah, getting published in Nature is a career gold star achievement. They’re very high impact (meaning many other scientific papers cite their articles).

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[–] Skua@kbin.earth 27 points 2 weeks ago

If we go by impact factor (a measure of how often the articles a journal publishes are cited elsewhere), various Nature publications are six of the top ten journals in the world and Nature itself is 15th

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 weeks ago

Yes. It's pretty much the definition of a high quality peer-reviewed journal.

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[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 65 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"precious tax payers money shouldn't go to unused subscriptions to junk science"

Ahh yes, but it should be used to make the incomprehensibly wealthy, even more wealthy. I really wish there was a god.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 61 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Did they just hear the term junk science and went "no u"?

This administration is so fucking frustrating, but it seems they want to remove any meaning of that word, the same way they always do.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 43 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Did they just hear the term junk science and went "no u"?

That's EXACTLY what they did, yeah. Just like when they appropriated "fake news" which was originally a term describing their own disinformation.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Which also nicely mirrors the Nazis calling everybody that contradicts them Lügenpresse.

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[–] nebulaone@lemmy.world 56 points 2 weeks ago

The US is like a reality tv show, except it's less believable.

[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 47 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

There must be (or ought to be) a term for this type of conspiracy that requires practically all experienced professionals in a given field to be complicit.

You could convince me that one or even a group of researchers were acting with nefarious intent, but everyone? It's just an absurdity.

[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's pretty much the definition of the "grand conspiracy theory". It requires the combined effort of thousands of people across hundreds of countries. It's insanity.

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[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 19 points 2 weeks ago

It's just a repeat of that AIDS conspiracy group that rejected evidence on HIV and made their own "science" mag which folded when everyone died of AIDS

[–] assembly@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago

So the modern approach to healthcare is back to leeches and blood letting huh. Did not have that on my 2025 bingo card but in retrospect I really should have.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 33 points 1 week ago

Well at least we know which publication refused to capitulate to morons.

I wonder which ones they kept.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Damn, what a bad ~~week~~ ~~month~~ ~~decade~~ century for US healthcare!

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[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

Everybody knows that real science is peerless.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm not as concerned with this as I am with the fascism, because this will at least kill us indiscriminately

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[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago

They're probably already in the data set of whichever LLM they use to write their policy documents anyway, so sure, fine. 🙄

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