Donate your body to a group of necrophiliacs and the answer is yes.
this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
183 points (97.4% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
33867 readers
4450 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I don't know how to feel about this technically correct answer.
Will you be using it?
Can't believe I have to die to get laid
"Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you.”
hopefully
I've heard in hindu mythology, virtuous men can spend time in heaven with apsaras (beautiful heavenly women). not sure if that means sex. also no idea what is there for gay men or straight women. probably they go to hell.
Depends on how freaky your coroner is.
Still trying to figure out sex before death.
You die and your last thought was...is there penis enlargement in heaven? Suddenly you wake up going at hundreds of miles an hour into a big cloud. Just you hanging on tightly to a rope that is pulling you into the cloud. And you hear...yes!...yes indeed! Indeed there is! But you don't want it. The voice getting louder and louder as you get closer and closer. You start noticing the earth getting smaller. You can see your house from here, you think....I know right? It replies. The rope! You can see its details, there are no threads on it! Just the feel of rubber. Look closer, there are interesting patterns on it...unique to... Wait are those veins? .....yes!.....and why is the cloud hairy? Is there penis enlargement in heaven? .....yes!, now get off mine! The voice insists now as strong as if you were in a concert theater. It's not rope! You've been riding Peter's penis! .....yes, well I was sleeping and its morning! Peter explains. Sorry bud! Looks like it got you!...he flings you off with a finger and you fall into a busy heaven street. Everyone looking at you happy and naked. We were expecting you any day says Jeff your buddy from highschool.... Yup, he's a grower, not a shower!
As it turns out everyone used to live infinite lives until peter got his penis extension. Now every morning here, as he gets his wood, someone gets smashed by it. When he wakes up and the thing goes back to normal they get up here same way you did bud!...well sometimes it's not just one. Sometimes its a bunch at a time. Anyway, its two blocks that way, then to your left. Can't miss it! .... Wha?....the penis enlargement place....oh..
No, you and those 72 virgins just have to hang out and take turns playing Mario Kart
Which god i have to praise daily to be able to hangout and just gaming with 72 other people? That sounds like a goal.
With a monthly donation, I can help you achieve your spirtial goals.
Sounds good, which onlyfans page does your god run?
You need to die holding the good controller otherwise you're forced to spend eternity playing with the mad catz.
Also, theyre all the kind of virgin whos way better at video games than you.
Double Dash? I can't wait to train my army of Mario Kart virgins. We will roll into the den of sinners and strike them down with well timed green shells. Mini boosting all the way.
Not sure if there will be for me, but I know for a fact that there has been some for others.
Of course it is. It even has a special name: necrophilia!
Be the change you want to see in the world.
The real question is was that sign placed on the fence of a graveyard.
The real question is how your question should be interpreted
Depends on, most christian scolars say sex is a "material thing" that you won't need in heaven.
Is there horniness in Heaven? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe you're more at peace and that includes not having some basic bodily needs/itches. Are there videogames in Heaven?! 😭
According to an episode of the original CSI, apparently a dead guy can still bust a nut if someone jams an electrode up his ass and electrocutes him. Does that count?
I have no idea if that's actually true, but seems plausible. I sure ain't trying to find out though.
🤷
Do you believe in sex after life after love? 🎶
Not if you are reincarnated as a jellyfish
What about smoking? I stopped after 20 years and it's been a decade, but can I light up if/when I cross through those pearly gates?
St. Peter: "Smoking or non-smoking?"
You: "Uh... Smoking!"
is sent to Hell
Lies. What do you think the holy ghost is made from? That's pure nicotine my friend. People get quite a buzz just being on the same cloud with him. God works in mysterious ways.
The Pastafarian heaven and hell have booth strippers
But in hell they have sexually transmittable diseases
Sex is uniative and procreative.
Paradise is already both those things. There would be no need for more.