fake: anon has any relationship with his dad whatsoever
gay: gay
this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2025
590 points (97.9% liked)
Greentext
7056 readers
1014 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Thank God those are separated incidents, otherwise this would be both fake and gay.
Honestly, I think his dad is just a giant abusive piece of shit, who would just use any excuse to beat the shit out of his son.
Interesting, I think this dad is completely imaginary, as is so often the case with greentexts
Interesting, I think the father is an amalgamation of several real father responses summed into one
The amount of reality bending going on in greentexts is unimaginable, so we might all be right
load more comments
(1 replies)
Hey, the jumper cables need to get some use
Ask him what kind of nursing home he wants to be abandoned at.
Y'all are way more generous and less petty than I'd be tempted to be.
A cardboard box can qualify as a nursing home as long as it's staffed by enough care roaches.
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
And his mom says nothing. Thanks for being a complicant piece of shit anon's mom.
My mom went a step further and told me I would never be in a happy and fulfilling relationship if I choose to date men
Homophobe father deserves a Nobel Prize if his proposed sexuality-based time dilation is reproducible under lab conditions.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Just have sex with your dad already. Remove the sexual tension.
People like Anon‘s dad are the reason why earth is still such a backward hillbilly place. Irrational disdain for harmless things like queerness, meanwhile actual problems and crimes like global warming, PFAS usage, genocide and corruption from top government officials are being ignored.
Fun fact: Humans are less socially intelligent than apes.
I'm from a family of immigrants, my parents complain about immigration.
Bitch, WE ARE IMMIGRANTS 🤦♂️
Peak "fuck you, got mine". Same with my grandparents, they were anti-immigrant immigrants. Grandpa was also notoriously racist. I laughed so hard when some genome sequencing revealed a ton of sub-Saharan genes in that side of the family. My dad was about 25% African and Grandpa was hella dark. Now how could that be..?
load more comments
(5 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
I love how asshole parents assume their health will always be okay, and they’ll never need any kind of home care or a place to live. BURNING BRIDGES IS MORE IMPORTANT!
If you're in a situation like anon, get out of there as soon as you can. Always remember these moments. When your dad gets old and needs your help, tell him "only f*****s need their sons to do stuff for them".
Fake: anon spends time with his parents
Gay: time flies for anon
Tell him it's hereditary and that he must have the genes? Lol
Tell him this. Homosexuality can develop later in life if you're not accepting of gay people. In an effort to protect you from gayness, your homofobic body will develop gay antibodies, in time these will alter your DNA by consuming your straight cells and turning you into a big ol' gay. The only way to prevent this from happening is to be open and welcoming towards all gay people.
I sucked a guys's dick to build immunity aginst gayness, did I do this right?
(I'm kidding lol, I'm still virgin)
It does work, but because the antibodies wear off over time, it's necessary to regularly repeat the treatment. This is, in fact, a key driver of the success of Grindr
load more comments
(1 replies)
Go fishing until they are dead. Time will fly by.
I wonder what he would say if you told him that it's on him and must be in his blood too since he sired you.
just quit gaying bro
Why would you say something so hateful and divisive?
Please dm me your current location so we can take our shirts off and kiss
load more comments
(4 replies)
Just bide your time and wait for him to say that went by fast or time flies and hit him back with a hard f-word.
I haven't been called a faggot before, but when I've been insulted in this sort of casual, out-of-nowhere way, I've found that responding with "go fuck yourself" in a calm tone of voice and then continuing my conversation to be effective.
I'm not saying you should break your dad's nose but standing up to him like the kind of (toxic?) man he would accept would probably change his attitude.
What is he going to do? Call the cops and tell them he got roughed up by a f-word?
I mean yes, that's exactly what the fucking coward would do
According to the right-wing, "oh what, you wanna outlaw comedy now? it's just a joke you snowflake!"
If you're not offended by the father's comments, just change the offending word to whatever you are. If you think nothing's wrong with it, it could be worth learning why
I got picked on a lot as a kid. What it did was make me hyper sensitive to other people's insecurities. I would see you and think: weight, race, bad at school, has a crush on X. I'd memorize it and put it in my back pocket and just dig at someone when they'd take a shot at me. It was a horribly daunting way to live because you're never really enjoying the moment.
If it had been a joke the father could have said something like "Time flies when you're a fairy".
I know that wasn't your point, but your first line made me realize that. It's still fucked up, but if you have a good relationship and know what the person is ok with that could absolutely be mistaken for a bad joke. Instead he just said something idiotic.
I don't participate (feels kind of gross), but I've seen people joke with each other using slurs about the other. But I'm not the language police I'm not going to tell people what they can and can't say. This wasn't even something that could accidentally be mistaken as a joke. This was just someone looking for a way to respond with a slur.
load more comments
(1 replies)
The obvious answer is to invite over the biggest, burliest bear you can imagine, get him to befriend your dad and make your dad think you've finally made a "real man" friend, and then fuck the bear in the ass in front of dad. Assert dominance. Are you a faggot? Absolutely. Faggots can dominate the manliest of men.
Go to your room? drop an "ok boomer", this fucker sounds like he'd explode at it
Start fishing, dad will be dead in no time.
Q: What does that say about dad watching fishing on tv rather than doing it for real on the water?
A: The man has sucked every dick in town.
I work with a guy who went through something similar. He is ok now, very out and happy with his orientation but still will talk about it, and when he goes home for holidays they still are unaccepting. He's 40 something and they still have not come to terms with his gayness.
My daughter's girlfriend literally started crying one day "you guys are so accepting of me" she practically lives here because her parents are not. WTF, parents? I don't get this. I live my straight lady life, their lives are theirs, their sexual orientation has no effect on me, unless they like assholes, which they do not, all have great boy-or-girlfriends.
“Good one, dad! Hey, would you mind just standing at the top of these stairs real quick?”
Honestly wouldn't acknowledge his existence. A younger version of myself would refuse to believe this was a true story and that people are like that. Now, I'm wise enough to choose my battles. Some people just aren't worth your time.
It'll all be over quickly, after all time flies when you're a fag, can I get that on a hoodie?
view more: next ›