this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2025
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Looks like Tuco finally met his match!

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[–] Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 185 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (4 children)

A source familiar with the case tells TMZ ... Cruz was washing his car and asked the girl to move out of the way. When she didn't, she allegedly got sprayed and believed he did it on purpose.

Seriously? I'm thinking that the girl's family has friends in high places.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 146 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Have you also considered that Cruz is brown?

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

He's rich and famous though

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Bother a white girl? Straight to jail

[–] klu9@piefed.social 48 points 4 months ago (2 children)

or skin with low melanin content

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You know, socioeconomically

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 24 points 4 months ago

Afaik, this:

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 2 points 4 months ago
[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 15 points 4 months ago

Maybe he'll get out with just a fine and a probation for a year from washing his car, or handling a hose in general.

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Also who gives a shit. Its water from a hose, such entitlement boo hoo

[–] bytesonbike@discuss.online 5 points 4 months ago

brown people can't do things to white people. Thems the rules unfortunately.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 96 points 4 months ago (2 children)

i didn't know you could get arrested for that, it sounds ridiculous

[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

A lot of states have very strict assault laws. For instance, in MA, Assault with a Dangerous Weapon can be brought against a person if they hit, throw, or spray pretty much any object or substance, including self-defense things like pepper spray.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 35 points 4 months ago (7 children)
[–] Chozo@fedia.io 45 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You're not thinking like a lawyer.

"Your honor, the defendant viciously and recklessly launched a dangerous substance - known to scientists as 'dihydrogen monoxide' - at my client. This chemical compound is commonly used in industrial cleaning operations and as a coolant in nuclear reactors. We seek damages up to $10,000,000,000 for pain and suffering."

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago

It doesn't even have what plants crave your honor!!!

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Have you considered she's maybe a ground type

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 4 points 4 months ago

Or, Arceus forbid, a Charmander. If that tail flame goes out it dies!

[–] radix@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago

People who have been sprayed with dihydrogen monoxide have a 100% rate of dying.

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Water, where the sharks and kraken live? That water? Seems pretty dangerous to me!!!

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Water? Eugh. Never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The other comments are joking, but I bet a "serious" (legally, not realistically) that the defendant didn't know if it was safe or not. Maybe the water had some dangerous chemicals in it? We all know that the argument would be bullshit, but I would bet that's what they'd say. Or a potential alternative would be that the intent was to have her fall and get hurt, or something like that.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

But it was from a hose. From the account it sounds like he asked her to move, she didn't, so he sprayed her a bit.

Even in her own admission she says she thinks it was intentional, which means that it could have also been accidental.

The correct response to a neighbor spraying you with a hose is to go inside and wipe off, not file a police report.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 months ago

I'm not talking about the "correct" response. I said it wouldn't be a reasonable argument. I was talking about the argument that will be made in court. It'll be bullshit, but I bet it'll be something along the lines I said above.

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Im assuming he sprayed an HOA Karen who didn’t like him washing his car on the driveway. This guy is arrested for spraying water and Raja Jackson almost murders a guy and is still on the loose

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 30 points 4 months ago

With minor infractions, the City Attorney often defers prosecution and holds an office hearing, where the alleged offender is warned and sometimes agrees to anger management courses in exchange for dropping the charges.

Tuco taking an anger management course wasn't on my 2025 bingo

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Goddamn the quickie mart made apu bank

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

That was part of the premise of the episode about his bachelor eligibility and subsequent arranged marriage. It was also much more subtly visited upon in the octuplets episode.

Uh, spoiler warning for 28 year old and 26 year old Simpsons episodes, respectively.

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[–] Bell@lemmy.world 27 points 4 months ago

Wow kinda famous people have asshole neighbors too

[–] Suburbanl3g3nd@lemmings.world 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Wonder if the neighbor called his abuelita a bitch

[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Awesome. I guess she never got his poo pushed in. (Training day)

Edit: he seems like a nice guy. I wonder what actually happened. Arrest seems extreme.

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[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The real crime is the dumbass tmz comments.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's been 5 hours now, the top comments have leveled off into mostly normalcy now. Humans overflowing the robots this time I guess.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Maybe the humans hosed off the bots.

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I don't want to go back to Reddit so I'm just going to assume r/okbuddychicanery is going to have a field day.

[–] Jakule17@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

No way Ho-se

[–] rhythmisaprancer@piefed.social 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I didn't watch enough Breaking Bad to know who this person played as a character, but with the years of memes and references, this seems like something that could have happened in the show.

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

heh, if it was in the show he'd be arrested for shoving the hose in the victim after disfiguring her

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Tuco! Neighbor was lucky he didn’t get a beat down

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago


The future:

[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 months ago

I'd say that neighbor got off lucky.

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