this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2025
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[–] Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 14 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Release the Epstein files, and since they won't need it anymore, transfer Trumps and Elons Cash to me; afterwards start a looooooong list of cash transfers to everyone NOT in the Epstein files. I hope i don't age while time is stopped, because that might take a while. While i'm at it, go down the list of Top 100 richest people and fucking do it again. Keep a respectable sum for myself, but only in the "me and the closest to me will never have to worry about money again"-region, not more.

Steal Denuvo's encryption keys.

Defenestrate Putin (and Medvedev just to make sure the war ends), then pull the same move in Israel. Personally slap every Russian and IDF soldier who willingly went into war.

Destroy all the North Korean artillery and rockets aimed at Seoul and place notes in front of SK politicians informing them about the new situation.

Dismantle the surveillance networks - all of them. Let every Citizen know how much information their state had about them - except for Cartel/Mobster types, those i put on skateboards like cardboard cutouts and let them ride down a steep hill into prison gates.

Do i still have time left?

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Dude, time is stopped. You can keep going until you want time to start again. And I've got a list for you:

  • Every single kiddy diddler? Suddenly in prison, with piles of evidence of their crimes.
  • You can solve every missing persons report where anyone is still alive. It'll take you a while, but you've got the "time."
  • Every bribe of every politician - and especially justices of the Supreme Court - exposed with thorough documentation.
  • Go around and erase all medical debt and all student debt. All of it. Use some of Elon's money to do it.
  • Find and reunite families that were split up by Trump's family separation policies.
  • Cut Russia off from the internet entirely. They've demonstrated that they're not ready to join the broader civilized community. Pay special attention to permanently offlining the "Internet Research Agency."

I'm sure I could come up with more.

[–] Yeahigotskills2@lemmy.ml 2 points 56 minutes ago

Wow. I was just going to snoop around people's houses...

[–] prex@aussie.zone 2 points 1 hour ago

As long at time restarts after that lot we're golden.

[–] SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 hours ago

Take a fuckin' nap, and then a week to myself

[–] python@lemmy.world 22 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

First, I take a long rest. Then, I might nap a bit.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 3 points 6 hours ago

This is the way.

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Lots and lots of reading and learning. Especially languages

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Is time going to restart? Otherwise the languages seem pointless.

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 hours ago

Languages unlock not just more knowledge but also ways of thinking

[–] scathliath@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 6 hours ago

I got a house full of books, notebooks to write my partners notes, and sleep. If it seems to last more than I don't know, a month? Probably walk to an Ocean, then see if one can walk or drive across one. Try and figure out why time seems stopped.

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 30 points 9 hours ago (4 children)

Suffocate or get immolated trying to move from the friction of the now solid air mass.

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[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 hours ago

Inherently!

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 61 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

No idea. But did you hear about the thousands of neonazis who all died at exactly the same time? Crazy stuff...

[–] zd9@lemmy.world 22 points 10 hours ago

[Removed by Reddit]

[–] weirdbeardgame@lemmy.world 10 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

... and how'd that floating knife get there? Just, floating where they just happened to be standing ... Weird!

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 14 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Quickly get into every missile silo and jerry-rig a way to remote control them, move all the personnel out of the silos, lock access, set up cameras in all of them, then find a way to resume time. Once time resumes, announce that I have control over all the nukes, launch a high-atmosphere blast near DC, Moscow, Beijing, London, Paris, to prove it, become a global dictator.

A benevolent dictator, of course. (pinky promise 😉 just trust me bro 😈)

[–] traches@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 hours ago

Your high altitude warning shots would wreck civilization. Read up on the starfish prime tests.

[–] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 70 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 10 points 12 hours ago
[–] Quexotic@infosec.pub 25 points 11 hours ago

Immediately panic. Why did it stop? How do I start it? Am I still aging? Can I still die?

Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago

Possibly arrange for some billionaires to meet their demise.

[–] Raglesnarf@lemmy.world 28 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

boobs

for legal reasons and to avoid the community burning me at the stake I will provide no further context.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 16 points 9 hours ago

Your honesty is respectable.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 19 points 11 hours ago

I choose to believe that you will run around flashing people. Wouldn't that be embarassing if time suddenly starts running again!

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago

I'll cheers to that

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] Kissaki@feddit.org 3 points 7 hours ago

I scream "Stop! Hammer time!" and then go looking for a hammer.

reference

[–] killea@lemmy.world 24 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Lol probably freeze to death. Photons stop moving, molecules stop vibrating. Electronic devices probably don't function/respond. So I could sleep (forever), no video games/tv/movies. Time travel trips me up; like I could walk around, but would time stopping fuck with the cohesion of matter/reality etc? Think you need a few more preconditions for this poll.

[–] weirdbeardgame@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

That's fair. I was trying to keep it broad to incite discussion. But since we're getting deeper sciencey with that. Let's assume that physics still includes active friction, gravity and heat transference especially since you can move. This is something like a gravitational anomaly that has affected the time space continuum in that you can move even though "Time" is stopped and everyone else is frozen in the moment

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[–] obinice@lemmy.world 6 points 9 hours ago

Do I retain my inertial momentum? If so, I immediately slam into the ground or shoot up into the sky, turning into a fine mist or burning up instantly, or both.

If the planet (and the universe) stop moving, but I don't, I'm dead, haha.

Similarly if we say that I don't retain that momentum, what happens to my ability to see? Light is no longer travelling, so I'll be mostly blind? Will I be able to move through the air, given that I'll be pushing on time-frozen air molecules? If I can move them by exerting force, are they sufficiently sparse that they have somewhere to move that doesn't require pushing even more frozen air, to the point that moving becomes very difficult?

Will air that I've moved continue to move after I breathe it out, or will it go back to being frozen in time, such that I can't sleep or stay in the same spot for long, because I will build up an unmoving cloud of CO2 around my face and die?

What other ways can you think of that would make pausing time this way suck or kill you? :-D

[–] NeedyPlatter@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Intimidate a French man by moving him back to his original postion on the stairs while I pose dramatically. /ref

[–] weirdbeardgame@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

While talking about how great I am with my STANDO POWA

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 13 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Hit refresh and reset buttons and wonder why my devices don't work. Honestly no idea what I'd do once I figure out what's going on - any socially/legally unacceptable behavior would be a huge risk because I'd have no way of knowing how long the timestop lasts.

TBH I'd probably just try to wait it out, maybe take a walk outside and take a look around.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 12 points 11 hours ago

Hit refresh and reset buttons and wonder why my devices don’t work

David Wong wrote a book where time would stop, but he actually put thought into it. So like, a field of grass was basically a field of razor blades because nothing else could move.

Fog and clouds could be walked on, a bunch of other stuff that made sense but is rarely thought of.

I think it was "This book is full of spiders"

[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 2 points 7 hours ago

Do a little bit of stress testing then go to bed

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 12 points 12 hours ago

Go find an Aztec god. Someone is bound to be in charge of this mess.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 7 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

Look at the movie cashback

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[–] Artisian@lemmy.world 10 points 12 hours ago

One could arrange a lot of pranks with a time freeze...

[–] AlternatePersonMan@lemmy.world 9 points 12 hours ago (2 children)
[–] EmpatheticTeddyBear@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

That's why you always carry a towel

[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

How else to achieve the status of hoopy frood

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