this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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[–] curiousPJ@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I'm Asian. If I do anything well in life it's because of privilege not because I worked 2 jobs while attending community college schooling and doing nothing else for myself other than to be at a better place. My effort feels completely and utterly dismissed by some of these people. They refuse to acknowledge my effort at all and instead they keep trying to dig deeper to find reasons why I'm "privileged".

[–] Soktopraegaeawayok@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago

I can't believe this is a serious question...

[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Older ones. Less physically discriminatory, more using slurs or making judgemental comments. They're ok with gay people, but you can't be flamboyant or having more options on trans people than they really need to. They haven't made trans comments in a while, but I think that has more to do with not wanting to be on the wrong "team". He's is a big South Park fan, so that's probably where it came from.

[–] turdcollector69@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Purity testing.

If you don't align with the party narrative 100%, down to the atom, then you're basically maga.

I don't think people realize this is a major factor that drives people away from progressive politics.

When a conservative meets someone more conservative, they bitch about liberals. When a leftist meets someone more left than them they compete with each other to see who's most "pure."

This is a major problem.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

And if you point this out to progressive people as to nobody likes them and how offputting/alienating they are. You are clearly MAGA or voted for Trump. Clearly if only you were 'enlightened' like them you'd 100% agree with them and have no separate ideas, opinions, or life experience of your own.

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[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

If you see a polite obviously rural person who has not said anything remotely questionable, a common comment is "but you probably wouldn't want to know their political opinion" or "you probably don't want their take on minorities or women". To be folksy is to guarantee progressives brand them as right wing racist sexist bigots.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

most rural people i've met the past decade where moderate or progressive. they just tend to be more libertarian than city folk are comfortable with, because they are not used to government services being ubiquitous. and they understand that they won't get shit from the government the way city people take for granted.

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[–] frog_meister@lemmings.world 6 points 2 days ago

Yes, when AOC shat on short kings.

[–] TonyOstrich@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (4 children)

I have a lot of first hand experience with it via dating. In terms of outward Appearance and how I present I am an average looking straight cis white male. Mentally, in addition to being on the spectrum, that's not really how I identify or am wired though. If anything, I'm probably more lesbian based on who I seem to get along with and am attracted to, lol.

As I am sure we are all (hopefully) aware there are a lot of men with very problematic behaviors (which is an entire other complex topic). As a result, within the liberal sphere I exist in it is very socially acceptable to shit on or otherwise have a negative bias against people that present like I do in a way that would not be acceptable if it were against another social group because of what they are.

I have had a number of interactions and conversations where my point of view/input/feelings/etc. were more or less dismissed or ignored by women when if I were a woman saying the exact same thing it wouldn't be. I have also had people flat out say "that's a very man thing to say" as a when what I am saying conflicts with their world view or how they feel and they can't engage with it logically anymore.

Please note, I am leaving a ton of intricate context out of the above to try and avoid having to write a novel. I understand why women have the bias/reaction towards men who present like I do, and why it's necessary. In the examples I am thinking of, these are women who know me, not strangers or randos. When discussing things I do my absolute best to have conversations in good faith and on the merits/logic of what is being said.

I don't like pulling the autism card or saying that's just how I feel, but I find that people are so unused to interacting with someone like me, rather than engage in the nuance of my experience and how it very much contradicts their world view, it's much easier for them to find a reason to be dismissive of it. I also realize that from a third party perspective without any context my autistic behavior is indistinguishable from gas lighting.

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[–] Deestan@lemmy.world 45 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

A frequent frustration is recursive guilt-by-association.

"Yeah so okay we do align on everything however you refuse to denounce your friend who didn't really do anything but he is a fan of a controversial figure who also didn't really say or do much but they are friends with a bad person so... Get lost?"

Another is translation based on the assumption that one's assumptions are universal.

"You said you think Terry Davis was a technical genius for his OS. Honestly his work is nothing compared to a modern OS. I think so so therefore you must think so, and so you must mean something else. What you are really praising is his extremist christianity."

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The latter one is more of a human trait. That's why basically every conservative will immediately suspect you pf something if you start badmouthing religions (at least their religion), even with totally accurate critique they happen to not know much about.

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[–] shawn1122@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

So it depends how you define progressive.

As a PoC I have certainly witnessed racism from white, black and Hispanic liberals. At its worst the democratic party can feel like a clubhouse for non regressive white people and the largest minority groups in the country. No one else really has a seat at the table. Is that really progressive?

I've moved on to assessing peoples worldview as either inclusionary or exclusionary. Unfortunately most people, left or right, have an exclusionary world view.

Exclusionary here means a failure to acknowledge the universal sanctity of human dignity. Nearly everyone is focused on themselves or their group exclusively. Some in ways that are more harmful than others.

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[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I put a poster up for a women/trans/non-binary inclusive group in an anarchist cafe, with their approval, only to get a literal essay from the cafe the next day about the miss-use of a word pertaining to our trans inclusivity. I can't recall what the "right" word was supposed to be, and the poster's verbiage was already researched/reviewed by trans people in the group. Due diligence was done.

Queue people leaving the group because we didn't feel it was necessary to print new posters. They felt we should be less hostile to "people taking the time to educate." Yeah, I made a few comments.

But you know what? I much prefer that to the kind of shit I had to deal with in conservative spaces. I worked on a couple political campaigns, had back room discussions where people don't "educate" when you're not one of them, they insult and back-stab you.

I can at least see the essay as an attempt to share knowledge, to include rather than exclude, even if it was from a place of self-importance and ignorance.

The friction I see in progressive spaces is usually about making things more equitable. It can be poorly thought out, but no one's perfect. I prefer flawed inclusivity to hostile exclusivity.

[–] PonyOfWar@pawb.social 32 points 3 days ago

Yes. I've even seen progressive people being quite racist. Political beliefs don't always line up with how people act in everyday life.

[–] IcedRaktajino@startrek.website 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (8 children)

Constantly. Usually it takes the form of reducing topics to binary choices and/or purity tests.

  • "You're either with me or against me / You're either part of the solution or part of the problem"
    • Where "part of the solution" means doing exactly, and only exactly what they think you should be doing.
  • "If you don't satisfy all of my impossible requirements, you're ~~as bad as~~ a nazi"
  • "We only agree on 99 out of 100 things, so clearly you're not to be trusted"
  • etc
[–] Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 3 days ago (4 children)

i really have never encountered someone like this.

unless the 'purity test' is being anti genocide or pro trans rights. you know, basic fundamental shit.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

i encounter people like this on a daily basis.

but i went to a liberal arts school, graduate school, and work in the non-profit world where teh trust fund purity types are quite common.

rarely are they ever the type of person who has ever had to be responsible for themselves or anyone else.

[–] jerakor@startrek.website 18 points 3 days ago (30 children)

Genocide is a term that is both over and under used. There are currently about six genocides ongoing. I don't see the point in trying to call someone out on it because no one is actually doing anything for or against it outside of a very small number of people.

If someone asks me if I'm anti genocide I assume they mean something they specifically consider a genocide and they are trying to use this as bait to get me to out myself in some way. They don't actually expect I'm personally participating or countering it in any way.

Trans rights also is a loaded term now because there are a LOT of individual rights Trans people are needing to fight for all in parallel. It's better to be specific.

Sure someone who says they are against trans people is awful, but I find folks set the bar in different places and use that to start an argument. The easiest example is, what age should someone be allowed to transition which is an intensely challenging question to answer even on a medical level.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

yeah i agree about both issues.

in both cases people do not care about the issue. they care about using it as soapbox to bully other people and feel morally superior.

they do not care about the actual people either.

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[–] Gigdragon@lemmy.world -1 points 1 day ago

Hello! I'm a Humanitarian, which sits under the Progressive umbrella. Saying there are discriminatory progressives is a bit silly as a broad stroke, but to be fair, everyone has gaps in their knowledge and understanding. Anyone can be accidentally or subconsciously discriminatory, but Progressives tend to go out of their way to correct discrimination as often as possible.

To be fair, there is one type of person I discriminate against: Fascists.

But that is more of a common sense thing. You can't get along with someone that wants to exclude everyone but an endlessly decreasing group of people. Fascists only want to get along with Fascists. I want to get along with everybody.

If you have any other questions, I'm happy to answer ^_^

[–] Balaquina@lemmy.ca 25 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Yes, I have a friend who is extremely progressive but is still very much a slut shamer. She really looks down with disgust on women who like sex or have more boyfriends than she deems acceptable.

She also shows bigotry against other groups of people. Although she would never in a million years look down on someone because of their skin colour, she absolutely takes on a tribalistic Us vs Them mentality for other reasons. An example is the war in Ukraine started by Russia. Did Russia start it? Yes. Is Putin evil? Yes. Are there many Russians who support this war? Yes. BUT... not every Russian person in the world is inherently evil, not all of them want this, many are victims trapped in a system that will literally throw them out the god damned window if they dissent. And my friend absolutely fucking hates Russians. All of them. No empathy about the nightmare situation so many of them are stuck in. It has gotten so bad that she has literally started to hate her chickens that are a Russian breed. She has started assigning negative human traits to them and is insisting that they are negative and bad because they are Russian chickens. It's honestly getting ridiculous.

[–] percent@infosec.pub 1 points 1 day ago

This reminds me of someone who hates Chinese people because of COVID. It's such a strange way to think.

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[–] yesman@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

In American leftism there is a definite divide between black and white.

For example second wave feminism is often thought of as Women seeking entry into the workplace, but at the same time black feminists were trying to leave the workforce and take care of their own kids.

The labor movement has an explicitly racist history. A fact that Capitalists often took advantage of by leveraging black scabs who were often ineligible for union membership. Eugne Debs identified this as a problem with the socialist movement.

I'm not saying that racism is common among today's lefties, just that white lefties are often ignorant of black American life and especially black radical thought and activism.

If you are vexed by Bernie Sanders' struggle with black voters, you're probably not very familiar with this history.

[–] IzzyJ@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

The question then becomes, how exactly is a white leftist supposed to appeal to them in situations like voting

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 18 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Pulling the cultural appropriation card too much perhaps? Especially for cultures they do not understand beyond surface level. Just because someone is wearing something from another culture, it doesn’t mean it’s being appropriated. Obviously negative appropriation exists especially for instances where it is being done for profit. The problem is sometimes some people are reactionary and are too quick to label something as such without looking into it first.

[–] angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com 15 points 2 days ago

I know there's like, actual cultural appropriation...but at this point I wish it never entered the cultural conversation at all tbh because I feel like it became weird bioessentialist shit. Like, just actively telling people what they're allowed to be interested in is based on genetics. Not to mention cases where mixed race people have been assaulted over perceived hair appropriation (the idea that you can tell what race people are by looking at them is monoracist.)

At my most charitable, I think people are forgetting that most people aren't influencers or public figures?

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[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 18 points 2 days ago

Absolutely. No one hates the left more than slightly different brands of the left.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Just head on over to the FuckCars community. Tons of ableism in there to witness.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Yeah, that's generally the issue with a 'Fuck' mentality.

Not "YayTransit" or something, but just relentless bemoaning cars and all who dare to use them. Such a community approach may serve the circle-jerk of those in agreement, but doesn't really do anything to change the status quo closer to what they want.

Walkable stuff is nice, as is transit as it works so I'm on board for improvements to make that more feasible, but it's kind of off putting the way they counduct themselves a good amount of the time.

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[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Oh yeah big time. I see it primarily in discussions about religion. Progressive people like to act as though any Christian has the same mentality as the Westboro Baptist church cult. Its a real bummer.

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