this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 41 comments
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[–] anugeshtu@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just say they're banned from graveyards, because they pulled that shit all the time without burying them again. You need to stay consistent and plausible with those lies. πŸ˜‰

I like this response, but now I'm wondering what the beaver question was...

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Contractual obligation, teeth must be given with the owner's consent.

[–] rustyricotta@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 23 hours ago

Like vampires but for teeth.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 7 points 1 day ago

People don't get it. The Tooth Fairy isn't collecting teeth, she doesn't really even want them. She just has the ancient job of giving kids the traditional bounty for teeth. She just tosses out the teeth when she gets home. She's ain't going to the trouble of digging up people for their teeth. She's got more than enough to handle already.

[–] pmk@piefed.ca 85 points 1 day ago (3 children)

My friends daughter heard about the tooth fairy and said "I don't think we should give her more teeth until we have figured out why she wants them, what is her plan?"

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 68 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Children instictively know that Fae are not to be trusted.

[–] Jayjader@jlai.lu 8 points 1 day ago

Then there's kids like me, who would daydream about actually being a fae changeling.

It's not even as if my parents didn't love me, I was just a weird kid who was more comfortable being weird than fitting in.

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 day ago

She sees through the lies of the jedi

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I like Pratchett’s take. The Tooth Fairy of the Discworld takes the baby teeth and hides them in his domain because pieces of a person can be used for sympathetic magic, like cursing someone, and he wants to protect the kids from that.

[–] Senal@programming.dev 29 points 1 day ago
[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

It's illegal and they don't want to deal with Anubis.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 31 points 1 day ago

The fey only bargain, they do not take. Not even from the dead.

Honestly, this is a golden teachable moment in critical thinking. Jr here is starting to ponder the implausibility of a myth. Encourage more thought, guide away from magical thinking, answer their questions honestly, and reward them for arriving at better answers. Then follow up with a big reward as they'll probably feel a tad disillusioned when it's all over.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 30 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The Tooth Fairy wants fresh teeth.

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I thought it was for the latest PlayStation?

[–] angband@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Something, something, fresh teeth.

Fully unironically. "Brush your teeth or the Fairy won't pay top dollar for them"

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

The people are only dead because they refused to keep giving the Tooth Fairy their teeth, so (s)he killed them but will honor their wish in death.

[–] Skyrmir@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Why do you think there's dirt on your window sill after the tooth fairy visits?

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

...question about beavers?

Edit: just scrolled and seen your other post lol

[–] RouxBru@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

This is why we put bodies in boxes!

[–] florge@feddit.uk 15 points 1 day ago

What's to say that they don't? And they're just greedy for teeth.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

They probably have to be reasonably fresh

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

people don't just die of old age

[–] Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And do buried children still have their teeth?

Do you want to go check?

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

they have double, child teeth and adult teeth, waiting to burst out

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

First they need to burst out of the grave. The zombie babies. Why don’t we see zombie babies in the zombie movies anyway? Also can zombies fuck and reproduce? I’ve never seen a pregnant zombie. I have many questions.

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

According to 28 Years Later, yes.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

That scene was so fucking disturbing.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Also can zombies fuck and reproduce? I’ve never seen a pregnant zombie. I have many questions.

they reproduce as parasites by infecting their "virus/germ" into living humans.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Because they don’t have shovels obviously.

Just pliers.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Then I will leave a shovel under my pillow.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

How do people think tooth fairy makes money?
By collecting gold tooths of the dead of course.

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

My kid and I had a conversation about this. I said it was weird a little fairy was flying around with a huge sack of kids teeth, like wtf was she doing with them? Pretty disgusting. We don't trust the tooth fairy.

They do unless there is a bone fairy around.

[–] bampop@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

The tooth fairy can go where it wants, and can see in the dark. Why would it need to dig them up?

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

War criminal tooth fairies did that, in the second world war, for gold teeth.