this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2026
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Subjectively speaking. Or maybe not.

Please try and resist the urge to say humans, I'm sure it crossed everyone's mind

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[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 1 points 37 seconds ago

Mosquitos. Fleas. Ticks. Parasitic worms. Anything that causes diseases.

See I resisted saying humans. But fr, humans are the freakin worst.

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

Humans

Sorry, resistance is futile.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Mosquitoes/Gnats. Not even their predators like them. Everyone else hates them.

Mosquitoes pose a viable food source for so many creatures and their extinction would have serious ramifications on the ecology of regions. That said, I want the little fuckers gone!

[–] BoosBeau@lemmy.world -1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Humans. gestures around in every direction

EDIT: ah shit, didn't read the whole thing...

[–] djdarren@piefed.social 2 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Horses.

Fuck horses.

I don't need to explain any further.

[–] _skj@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

Big creature that primarily eats grass. Bad at digesting grass. Worse at digesting other things with gas and intestinal issues being common causes of death.

No idea how something so bad at eating survives on it's own

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

You do, i like horses. But you don't have to if it's too traumatic

[–] djdarren@piefed.social 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

They're just so arrogant, trotting about the place like they're important.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

I think this is because of how we treat them, lol, like they literally

spoilerget jerked off

by humans on a regular basis, lol. From what I've heard.

[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 21 points 13 hours ago

Parasitical worms. I’d like to say why, but just thinking about it already makes me shudder.

[–] ace_garp@lemmy.world 27 points 14 hours ago

Bedbugs. Not friendly at all. Hard AF to get rid of.

I have not seen them up close, just watched the videos where they come out of the cracks in wood when someone waves hand body heat over them. Gross.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Mosquitos, for inspiring the profession of Lawyers.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Why do people hate lawyers? I genuinely don't understand.

[–] Ross_audio@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

In civil cases they're used by those who can afford them to oppress those who can't.

Lawyers follow the doctrine that both sides need representation in criminal cases but time spent is still weighted to those who pay.

Lawyers claim a position of moral neutrality when picking a side as part of a process which compensates each side differently.

One dramatic way to reform the system is to enforce an equal budget to both sides of a case in civil and criminal cases. If someone pays for thousands of hours of legal representation to attack you, you should be able to spend that money on legal representation too.

All too often defending a case is not worth the price.

Anecdotally I'd actually like to bring a case against my landlord but the similar cases against them have been sat for years and often time out due to technicalities when someone can't afford yet another solicitors letter.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

I see lawyers work on contingency every single day, for people who don't have a pot to piss in. It's also not generally out of the goodness of their heart, so I don't want to make it seem like they're philanthropists out here. If you have a case, odds are a lawyer will take it.

As far as defending a case, it's interesting. I watch insurance companies spend 10 times what a case is worth to settle for the sake of defending it. Lawyers go after insurance companies all the time because the insurance companies have deep pockets, and sometimes you get an easy settlement. This is definitely not some kind of defense of insurance companies either, they're the worst, but people will do their best to scam them wherever they can.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 15 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

Mosquitoes and it's not even a debate.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 12 hours ago

Killed the most humans is a pretty strong qualifier

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 52 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Koalas are fucking horrible animals.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally – their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death.

This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life.

Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.

Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.

Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently…

Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.

Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio… There's a trend here).

When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.

This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?

Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.

Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:

Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury… should they fall from a tree.

An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.

If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

Wow. Just wow. This is more shocking than when i learned the truth about dolphins.

So, rule of nature: if it looks cute, it's not. Cats are genocidal maniacs. Koalas and Dolphins are rapists. Hamsters are locked into an eternal gladiatoral tournament with the rest of their species and will kill each other in brutal ways for no reason.

[–] fizzle@quokk.au 36 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

This is the obligatory response copypasta to that Koala copypasta:

I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.

Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.

Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards.

An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?

Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death

This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery.

Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.

They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal

It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.

additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.

Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.

If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.

If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.

Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.

That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!

Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).

Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!

When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.

Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.

Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.

Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?

This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,

Almost every animal does this.

which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?

Sounds like I have my answer for next week's question of "what's the worst plant on Earth"

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 13 points 18 hours ago (4 children)

Meh, I'd rather let this copypasta be forgotten. It turns cool points into "bad" ones while exaggerating the rest. For example, it's COOL that this animal evolved specialized digestive organs to process a food in a biological niche that other animals can't exploit. There's great variety among animal brain shapes / textures, and having such a complex brain doesn't guarantee that all humans are that "smart". Other animals are also sedentary or sleep a lot (sloths, cats) and this is seen as being efficient. Other animals also do things that are pretty gross when viewed through a human lens.

On top of all that, it feels like justification for everything humans are doing to endanger the population.

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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 12 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Bed bugs... and possibly roaches (only the species that infest homes).

If you ever had to deal with an infestation, you know the psychological damage it can give you. I'm sure it can give you PTSD as well.

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 9 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

My list is very subjective.

Cockroaches (pest) is my N.1 on the list

N.2 Ticks!!! The fuckers rain from the trees and latch onto you!!!

N.3 is shared by parasites, any worms, lice, fleas, you name it;

N4. Leeches. Because fuck leeches. They are slow, yet they will still get you, and unless you have coated yourself in DEET they will bite you, and the bite will bleed for a while, and if you are like me you may get an allergic reaction.

Anything that can be reasonably warded off with regular repellent and/or window screens gets a pardon from me.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Re N4: IIRC, The Presidents of the USA made a song about them.

Millions of leeches, leeches for me
Millions of leeches, leeches for free

[–] mech@feddit.org 3 points 10 hours ago

Ticks actually sit on plants close to the ground and latch onto you when you touch the plant. Important knowledge cause you can protect yourself 99% with ankle-high boots, long plants and stuffing the pants legs into your socks.

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 39 points 19 hours ago (8 children)
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[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca -1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Unironically humans obviously (FYIWDWYTM), probably followed a ways back by housecats.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 0 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 0 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

I didn't say that I didn't love housecats, or humans. But still, we're all better off each time a housecat or a human gets sterilized.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 24 points 18 hours ago

The deer ticks that spread Lyme disease.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 17 points 18 hours ago (9 children)

I vote for seagulls- your local beach assholes.

I’ve been chased and harassed by seagulls, not for giving them food, but for eating food in their presence. I once saw a seagull grab a water bottle out of some lady’s bag. I remember witnessing a gang of seagulls dismember a live crab in front of a group of children. And to this day, I refuse to talk about the Nilla Wafer Incident.

They’re bullies, thugs, thieves, and they know it and are proud of it. Fuck a seagull.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 hours ago

Growing up in coastal scandinavia, learning to hate seagulls isn't part of one's upbringing. It comes naturally after experiencing living nearby them.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

Seagulls seem cute in some circumstances but then act like they're turned into insane zombies from all the human food they eat. Sea rats.

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[–] chunes@lemmy.world 12 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Definitely not capybaras. That's for sure.

[–] ace_garp@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago

Got to meet one last month!

I was seated, and it jumped up on my leg to get some greens I was holding.

It's true, most chill animal around.

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